#america

An American, a French, and a Mexican are on a plane The American places his hand outside of the plane and exclaims,""We are in America!"". The others, confused, ask him how he knows this. ""I felt the Statue of Liberty."", he replies. Later, the French yells,"" We are in France!"". The American and the Mexican, perplexed, ask him how he knows. ""I touched the Eiffel Tower."" A while later, the Mexican says,""We are in Mexico"", a little annoyed. The others ask him what he felt. ""Nothing, but th…

So America won gold for shooting in the Olympics. No suprise there.

what u call a Bee that lives in America? A USB

3 Brothers immigrate to America and open a convenience store. Each of them can only speak 1 sentence of English. The eldest can only say ""Maybe, maybe not."" The second can say only ""One dollar-fifty."" The youngest, ""If you don't, somebody else will!"" A customer walks into the store, and takes a magazine from the display rack to the counter and asks ""is this for sale?"" The first brother replies ""maybe, maybe not."" Annoyed, he tries phrasing it differently; ""can I buy this or not?"" The…

What's the difference between Ireland and America? When we say waterboarding in Ireland it means surfing.

Trump & Clinton Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are stuck on a boat. Who survives? America.

Hitler's Dream Hitler Awakens in the middle of night . Eva asks him : "" What happened Adi Russians in Berlin ?"" ""Ehhh no, i had stupid dream about Germany in year 2016 : Chancelor is woman, Foreign Minister is Fag , Turks working in the factories of Daimler-Benz , Germany pays debts of Greeks and Spaniards. Instead of Nazis there are Gays marching on streets. , We are paying to the Jews. And are listening to orders of some stupid America blackman. ! And thats not all... Fascists arent in Reic…

How are third party candidates like soccer? They're only really popular in America once every four years.

The first human migrants to America are about to cross the land bridge between Eastern Russia and Alaska. The navigator seems a bit lost. The year is 13,000 BC. The first human migrants to America are about to cross the land bridge between Eastern Russia and Alaska. The navigator seems a bit lost. ""You alright?"" They ask him, waiting eagerly at the shore with a distant view of the new lands that awaited them. ""Yeah, I think so,"" the navigator replies, staring intently at some kind of primiti…

America as a whole is pretty bad at geometry... We're all out of shape.

Why couldn't Shah Rukh Khan enter America? ... Because he wasn't an Amirkhan

This presidential race in America has taught us at least one thing. Once you go black you can go back.

What do the Zika Virus and Catholic Priests have in common? They're both giving kids a little head all over Latin America.

If Trump and Hillary were stranded on a boat, who would survive?? America.

Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are on a plane and it crashes on an island. Who survives? America.

Melania Trump immigrated to America in 1996 And after her speech I now see why Donald says that ""all immigrants are thieves""

A white guy, a mexican, and a black guy find a genie in a bottle. The genie asks each of them what they wish for. The mexican says, ""My wish is for all my mexicans in America to be back in Mexico, drinking beer on the beach!"" Poof, his wish is granted. The black guy says, ""my wish is for my fellow Africans living in America to all be transported back to Africa where we can be happy and safe!"" Poof, his wish is also granted. The genie turns to the white guy and asks him what his wish is. ""We…

I wonder if they'll ever release Call of Duty Go in the UK They've been playing it in America for years

Donald Trump trying to make America read again He is trying to restore Borders.

Between Trump and Clinton, who is more likely to start a nuclear war if elected president? America, with the missiles aimed at ourselves.

Were Trump to propose a ban on Abortions... he could easily modify his slogan to ""Make America Late Again""

Two Iranians Meet In Beverly Hills Two old friends from Iran who haven't seen each other in 20 years meet up in Beverly Hills. As Abdul sees his friend Sayeed he greets him in Farsi and says hello. Then Sayeed says to Abdul, ""Abdul ... we are in America now ... speak Spanish""

America is still a British colony In England we speak English In France we speak French In Germany we speak German In China we speak Chinese In America we speak English *drops mic and leaves*

Isn't America great! People shouting USA! At sporting events or after a disaster and we bond together. Or at home depot where its like I'll take you essay and you essay and you essay over there.

The quickest way to immigrate to America... Is on a one way ticket to Mexico.