An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender approaches and tells him, ""You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; it would taste better if you bought one at a time."" The Irishman replies, ""Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in America, the other in Australia, and I'm here in Dublin. When we all left h

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A German, an Italian, an American, and a Mexican are sitting on a roof... celebrating after a hard days work. The German pulls out a bottle of beer, takes a long chug and throws the rest of the bottle off the roof. The Italian asks, ""Why did you waste that?"" The German replies, ""Don't worry, we have so much beer in Germany."" The Italian then pulls out a bottle of wine, takes a long chug and throws the rest off the roof. The German asks, ""Why would you do that?"" The Italian replies, ""Don't

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A plane was travelling from America to the UK when, about 15 minutes into the journey, there is a slight rumble, a slight whine followed by the pilots voice over the PA system. ""Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. I would like to inform you that one of our engines has stopped working. We can still safely fly on the 3 remaining engines, but our journey will be 1 hour longer as a result. Thank you"" A few passengers look at each other, but no one is overly concerned, trusting the

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