#donald

Donald trumps next book should be called ... The gift of the grab.

A child tells the make a wish foundation. So a child is ill and the make a wish foundation asks ""what do you want more than anything"" the child responds ""to trade places with Donald trump!"" They interpret as he wants to know what it's like to be president for a day. So they ask trump, he obliges. Trump meets the child and says ""so you want to know what it's like to be president?"" The child retorts ""no I just wanted you to have cancer""

I have the email that Hillary sent Donald congratulating him on his victory [Deleted]

How did Trump win? ""Hillary Clinton"" and ""Donald Trump"" go into a bakery. Hillary Clinton steals three pastries and puts them in her pocket. She says to Donald Trump ""See how clever I am? The owner didn't see anything and I don't even need to lie."" I will definitely win the election. Donald Trump: ""That's the typical dishonesty you have displayed throughout your entire life, trickery and deceit. I am going to show you an honest way to get the same result."" Donald Trump goes to the owner …

A farmer dies and goes to hell While down there the Devil notices that the farmer is not suffering like the rest. He checks the gauges and sees that it's 90 degrees and about 80% humidity. So he goes over to the farmer and asks why he's so happy. The farmer says, ""I like it here. The temperature is just like plowing my fields in June."" The Devil isn't happy with the farmer's answer and decides to get him, so he goes over and turns up the temperature to 100 degrees and the humidity to 90%. Afte…

The night after taking office, Donald Trump's deal with the Satan has been completed, and he dies, arriving in hell... Well, one can hope, anyway.

Donald - Knock knock Hilary- Who's there? Donald - Interrupting Donald Trump Hilary - Interrupting Don--- Donald - WRONG!

Which is Donald Trump's favourite music album? the wall by pink floyd

What is Donald Trump's Favorite Nut? The wallnut.

A joke from the 6-year old my girlfriend babysits... They are watching TV, and this conversation happens... GF: ""It's cold, I'm freezing in here."" KID: ""Let me guess. Your house is much hotter."" GF: ""No, actually it's much colder because my roommate doesn't want to put the heat on."" KID: ""So why don't you just put it on?"" GF: ""Because she doesn't want me to."" KID: ""Well maybe you should build a wall that you can go through but the temperature can't go through. So you can be in one par…

Donald and Hillary Go Into A Bakery... Donald and Hillary go into a bakery while on the campaign trail. As soon as they enter the bakery, Hillary steals three pastries and puts them in her pocket. She says to The Donald: ""See how clever I am? The owner didn't see anything, and I don't even need to lie. I will definitely win the election"". The Donald says to Hillary: ""That's the typical dishonesty you have displayed throughout your entire life it's all trickery and deceit. Now I am going to s…

A little boy told his mom that he wants to be like Donald trump when he grows up Mom: Well pick one, you cant be both

Donald Trump fell ill and is on his deathbed... He has his whole family and his most intimate friends close by comforting him on his last few hours on earth. They all gather around him and listen to his amazing stories of how he built his empire and how he had a terrific life. Towards the end of the evening he calls his wife Melania and says *""Quick, Melania!! Get me a Muslim priest! I want to convert to Islam!""* Everyone in the room is completely shocked! Is this the *real* Donald Trump? Conv…

The Election was tied.... The US Presidential election of 2016 had been over for weeks. Every single ballot had been counted and tabulated, the Electoral College had cast their votes, and after every avenue had been exhausted, it was unequivocally a dead heat. Both Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton turned to the Supreme Court for a decision, agreeing to abide by the ruling for the good of the Country, Mom, and Apple Pie. After due deliberation, Justice Ginsburg, the Notorious RBG, spoke for the C…

Walking around Washington, Joe Biden sees Donald Trump and says to him... Hey Donald! (says Joe Biden), I know I'm an ugly, bumbling, retard, with ridiculous hair plugs, so I've long since accepted that women don't find me attractive. But for your whole life, the most beautiful women have always loved you. I've wanted to know what it was like to be a man who actually gets the women. Trump says, well... you spend every day in the White House with Barack. I mean, sure he's an idiot, hates America,…

What's Donald Trump's favorite TV show? Well considering how he thinks America lacks law and order and his affinity to grabbing women by the pussies, his favorite show is Law and Order Special Victims Unit.

Trump joke last night... What did Hillary say when she bumped into Donald after the election? ""Pardon me""

I really respect Donald Trump's campaign He's doing so much to help raise awareness for autism.

Hillary and Donald Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump go into a bakery shop. As soon as they enter the bakery, Trump steals three pastries and puts them in his pocket. He says to Hillary: ""See how clever I am? The owner didn't even see anything, and I don't even need to lie. I will definitely win the election."" Hillary says to Donald: ""That's the typical dishonesty you have displayed throughout your entire life, trickery and deceit. I am going to show you an honest way to get the same 3 pastrie…

A billionaire, a clown, and a presidential candidate walk into a bar... And the bartender says, ""How's it going, Donald?""

Donald Trump loses the election and suffers a nervous breakdown. After he recovers, he buys a farm and starts to raise animals to relax. Rosie O'Donnell decides to go visit him. She arrives at the farm and sees the Donald walking a sheep on a leash. Donald walks up to her and says, ""I'd like to introduce you to this pig."" Rosie says, ""That's not a pig, that's a sheep"" The Donald replies, ""I know, that's who I was talking to""

Hill and Don go to a bakery... Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump go to a bakery. As soon as they enter the bakery, Hillary steals three pastries and puts them in her pocket. She says to Donald, ""See how clever I am? The owner didn't see anything and I don't even need to lie."" I will definitely win the election. Then Donald says to Hillary, ""That's the typical dishonesty you have displayed throughout your entire life, trickery and deceit. I am going to show you an honest way to get the same res…

What is Donald Trump's favorite river? Denial.

Hillary and trump Hillary & Trump go into a bakery shop. As soon as they enter the bakery, Trump steals three pastries and puts them in his pocket. He says to Hillary: ""See how clever I am? The owner didn't even see anything, and I don't even need to lie. I will definitely win the election."" Hillary says to Donald: ""That's the typical dishonesty you have displayed throughout your entire life, trickery and deceit. I am going to show you an honest way to get the same 3 pastries without stea…

Little Donald schools his teacher. Little Donald's 6th grade teacher asked kids to demonstrate ""salesmanship skills"" over the weekend and report back on Monday morning. Monday morning in class, Little Sally started: ""I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30. My sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success."" ""Very good,"" said the teacher. Little Jenny was next: ""I sold magazines,"" she said, ""I made $45 and I explained to ev…