#donald

Hillary Clinton and Donald trump both are in the same car, who should be the driver? The police

Donald trump and a slinky have a lot in common... They are both useless piles of garbage but they'll put a smile on your face if you shove them down the stairs.

Crime TV shows aren't what they used to be That's why I support Donald Trump's promise to bring back Law and Order.

Donald and Hillary walk into a presidential debate. And America walks out

A man died and went to heaven As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, ""What are all those clocks?"" St. Peter answered, ""Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."" ""Oh,"" said the man, ""whose clock is that?"" ""That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."" ""Incredible,"" said the man. ""That's Abraham Lincoln's …

Donald Trump's Clock It's a slow day in heaven, so St. Peter decides to show a new guy around. St. Peter shows him all of the sights: the golf course, library, observation deck, cafeteria and a huge room full of clocks. ""What's up with those clocks, Peter?"" ""Everyone on Earth has a clock that shows how much time he has left. When a clock runs out of time, the person dies and comes to the gates to be judged."" The guy notices that some of the clocks are going faster than others. St. Peter tell…

Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump go into a bakery. As soon as they enter the bakery, Hillary steals three pastries and puts them in her pocket. She says to Donald, ""See how clever I am? The owner didn't see anything and I don't even need to lie."" I will definitely win the election. Then Donald says to Hillary, ""That's the typical dishonesty you have displayed throughout your entire life, trickery and deceit. I am going to show you an honest way to get the same result."" Donald goes to the own…

A person walked in to a spanish book store. Clerk: What can I do for you? Customer: I'd like a copy of Donald Trump's new book about immigration reform. Clerk: Get the f-ck out of this place and don't come back, you c-nt! customer: Yes, that one.

Donald Trump's plan to build a wall might actually work. The Chinese built a huge wall, and they have almost no Mexicans in their country.

I bought one of Donald Trump's books on how to run a business ...but for some reason, it just ends at Chapter 11.

DONALD Your tax returns now! Clinton: We all did our tax returns now show is yours Trump: I emailed it you

Hillary & Trump goes into a bakery Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump go into a bakery. As soon as they enter the bakery, Hillary steals three pastries and puts them in her pocket. She says to Donald, ""See how clever I am? The owner didn't see anything and I don't even need to lie."" I will definitely win the election. The Donald says to Hillary, ""That's the typical dishonesty you have displayed throughout your entire life, trickery and deceit. I am going to show you an honest way to get the…

Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump go into a bakery... Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump go into a bakery. As soon as they enter the bakery, Hillary steals three pastries and puts them in her pocket. She says to Donald, ""See how clever I am? The owner didn't see anything and I don't even need to lie."" I will definitely win the election. The Donald says to Hillary, ""That's the typical dishonesty you have displayed throughout your entire life, trickery and deceit. I am going to show you an honest …

Donald has written a lot of books about business, but there's an interesting characteristic they all share... They all seem to end at Chapter 11. Credit (to my dismay): HRC

What is Donald Trump's favorite music album? The Wall

Hilary Clinton and Donald Trump in a hot air balloon Hilary invites Donald on a bury the hatchet secret meeting before the knives come out in the run up. A little while into the trip she springs a surprise on the other President hopeful.. "" So Trump.. I would like you to say hello to our pilot, Pedro who happens to be Mexican, and my assistant, who happens to be a photographer. "" Before Donald has the chance to react the flame feeding the huge balloon keeping them in the sky starts to flicker …

Donald Trump's Joke Donald Trump is speaking at a campaign event in South Carolina. He asks if the crowd wants to hear a joke? The southern crowd goes ""USA! USA! USA!"" What do you call 10 illegal immigrants on the moon? A problem. What do you call 100 illegals on the moon? A problem. What do you call 1000 illegals on the moon? Still a problem. What do you call all of the illegal immigrants on the moon? Problem solved.

If Donald trump and Hilary Clinton both go down on a ship who survives? America that's a no brainer

People are forgetting that illegals are ""stealing"" jobs that no one else wants like the job of being Donald Trump's wife

Small problem with Donald Trump's like logic. Yes Donald, you can build a wall, yes you can make the Mexican's pay for it. But who's gonna build the wall?

Pablo Picasso, Albert Einstein, and Donald trump arrive in heaven. Saint Peter tells them that if they can prove that they really are who they say they are, they can go in. Picasso starts painting immediately, creating a master piece. Saint Peter thanks him and lets him in. He then turns to Einstein, who explains the theory of general relativity to him. Saint Peter thanks him and lets him in. He then turns to Trump, who is looking bemused, and tells him ""If you can prove who you are, I will let…

A redditor walks in to bar... The bartender says, ""what'll you have?"" ""It's been so long since I've had a good laugh"", replies the redditor. ""I'll give you $100 if you can tell me a joke I haven't heard before."" ""That sounds easy enough"", replies the bartender. ""I should warn you"", the redditor says, ""I browse /r/jokes so I've heard them all over and over and over again"". Curious, the bartender pulls out his phone and browses /r/jokes for a few minutes. ""How about this?"" he asks, "…

Donald and Hillary Go Into A Bakery on the Campaign Trail As soon as they enter the bakery, Hillary steals three pastries and puts them in her pocket. She says to Donald, ""See how clever I am? The owner didn't see anything and I don't even need to lie."" I will definitely win the election. The Donald says to Hillary, ""That's the typical dishonesty you have displayed throughout your entire life, trickery and deceit. I am going to show you an honest way to get the same result."" Donald goes to t…

What's the difference between Pink Floyd and Donald Trump Pink Floyd actually finished The Wall.

Hillary and Donald are just like Joker and Harley Quinn... A multi billion dollar industry is going out of their ways to make them look like good guys