#lincolns

What was Lincoln's worst decision as President? He should have asked for a table, instead of a Booth

A man died and went to heaven As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, ""What are all those clocks?"" St. Peter answered, ""Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."" ""Oh,"" said the man, ""whose clock is that?"" ""That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."" ""Incredible,"" said the man. ""That's Abraham Lincoln's …

A man died and went to heaven As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, ""What are all those clocks?"" St. Peter answered, ""Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."" ""Oh,"" said the man, ""whose clock is that?"" ""That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."" ""Incredible,"" said the man. ""That's Abraham Lincoln's …

On day in heaven A person died and went to heaven. As she stood in front of Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates, she saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. She asked, ""What are all those clocks?"" Saint Peter answered, ""Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move. ""Oh,"" said the woman, ""whose clock is that?"" ""That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved indicating that she never told a lie."" ""Whose clock is that?"" ""Th…

A Man Dies A man dies and goes to heaven, and as he passes the gates a wall of clocks emerge. St. Peter appears, ""Welcome to heaven!"" he exclaims, the man still confused by the clocks asks, ""What are all these clocks doing in heaven?"" St. Peter explains, ""These are lie clocks. Everyone on earth has a lie clock. Every time a person lies, the clock hands move one notch."" The man intrigued, points and asks, ""Whose clock is that?"" St. Peter replies, ""That is Mother Teresa's clock, it has no…

Abraham Lincoln wakes up one morning and sees that his neighbor's bushes are growing into Lincoln's property. Lincoln goes over to his neighbor and asks him why he let the bushes overgrow. The neighbor responds angrily, ""Well, I used to have someone who took care of that sort of thing, but then you took him away from me!""

Lie Clocks A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, 'What are all those clocks?' St. Peter answered, 'Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move.' 'Oh,' said the man, 'whose clock is that?' 'That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie.' 'Incredible,' said the man. 'And whose clock is that on…

A man approaches the Gates of Heaven... ...when he sees that behind the gates are hundreds of thousands of clocks, each ticking at a different pace. He goes to the gatekeeper and asks, ""hey, why are there so many clocks here?"" The gatekeeper responds, ""Oh, each clock ticks however many times you've lied in your life per minute."" ""Interesting,"" the man responds. ""Whose clock is that?"" he says, pointing to a clock that isn't moving at all. ""That clock belongs to Mother Teresa,"" responds …

Frederick Douglass opened President Lincoln's mind to the plight of blacks. Name another person who opened Lincoln's mind. John Wilkes Booth.

A man died and went to heaven... ...As he stood in front of Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, ""What are all these clocks doing here?"". St. Peter answered, ""This is the wall of Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth possesses a lie clock, and every time you lie, the hand on the clock moves."" ""Oh"" said the man, ""Whose clock is that?"" ""That's Mother Theresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie"". ""Incredible"" said th…

A man went to heaven... So a man in the hospital died of a sickness and went up to heaven. Before he could enter he had to go to a sort of office building, he noticed the office walls were covered in clocks. He asked the angel working at the desk, ""What are these clocks for?"" To which the angel replied, ""These clocks move 1 minute for every lie someone tells or told."" The man points to a clock, ""Whose is this?"" The angel tells him, ""This is Abraham Lincoln's clock, it has only moved 2 min…

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, ""What are all those clocks?"" St. Peter answered, ""Those are Lie- Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie- Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."" ""Oh,"" said the man, ""whose clock is that?"" ""That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."" ""Incredible,"" said the man. ""That's Abraham Lincoln…

Mittens keeping it cool. A man dies, goes to heaven, stands before St. Peter, and see a huge wall of clocks. The man asks what all the clocks are for and St. Peter explains, ""These are lie clocks. Everyone on earth has a lie clock. Every time a person lies, the clock hands move."" Pointing to one, the man says, ""Whose clock is that?"" ""That's Mother Teresa's,"" St. Peter answers. ""The hands have never moved, indicating she never told a lie."" ""Incredible,"" the man responds. ""And whose clo…

One night Bill Clinton was awakened by George Washington's ghost in the White House. ""George what is the best thing I could do to help the country?"" Clinton asked. ""Set an honest and honorable example just as I did"" advised George. The next night the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moved through the dark bedroom. ""Tom what is the best thing I could do to help the country?"" Clinton asked. ""Cut taxes and reduce the size of government"" advised Tom. Clinton didn't sleep well the next night and s…

A man died and went to heaven.. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are all those clocks?" St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move." "Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?" "That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie." "Incredible," said the man. "That's Abraham Lincoln's cl…

A Man visits Heaven and notices a wall of clocks... The man asks God, "What are all those clocks for?" "They represent each time someone lies. When they do, the clock moves one tick." The man walks around, observing the clocks. "Who right here has zero ticks?" he questions. "That would be Jesus' clock." replies God. "What about Abraham Lincoln's clock?" "Honest Abe has two ticks on his." Curious about the clocks, the man decides to ask, "Where is the President's clock?" God looks up at t…

A man goes into heaven... ...he sees a lot of clock's and asks what they're for. Jesus says, "These are lying clocks. If a person tells a lie the minute hand moves." Jesus points to one clock and says, "This is Abraham Lincoln's clock, the hands have only moved a bit." Jesus points to another clock and says, "This is my Mother's clock, it has never moved since she has never told a lie." Suddenly the man asks where George Bush has his clock. Jesus says, "It used to be in my office for a f…

A man died and went to heaven... A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the pearly gates he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are all those clocks?" St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks, everyone on earth has a lie clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move." "Oh," said the man, "Whose clock is that?" "That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie." "Incredible," said the man. …

A man died and went to heaven As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are all those clocks?" St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move." "Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?" "That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie." "Incredible," said the man. "That's Abraham L…

A man died and went to Heaven. As he stood in front of the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are all those clocks for?" St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone who has ever been on earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock move." "Oh", said the man. "Whose clock is that?" "That's Mother Teresa's", replied St. Peter. "The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie." "Incredible", said the man. "And whose …

A lawyer’s wife died and went to hell ... She saw a huge wall of clocks behind. She asked, What are all those clocks? Yamraj answered, “Those are Lie Clocks. Everyone on earth has a Lie Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move. Lawyer’s wife : “Oh”, Who’s clock is that? Yamraj : That’s Gandhi’s. The hands have never moved indicating that he never told a lie. Lawyer’s wife : And whose clock is that? Yamraj : That’s Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands have only moved twice, tell…