A man died and went to heaven... ...As he stood in front of Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, ""What are all these clocks doing here?"". St. Peter answered, ""This is the wall of Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth possesses a lie clock, and every time you lie, the hand on the clock moves."" ""Oh"" said the man, ""Whose clock is that?"" ""That's Mother Theresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie"". ""Incredible"" said the man. ""Here you have Abraham Lincoln's clock. As you can see the hands have only moved twice, which means that he only lied twice in his life."" ""Where's Obama's clock?"" ""His clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan.""