#don

FRIEND: Don is flying in tomorrow ME: My cousin Don or Amazing Hearing Don? [I get a text] Amazing Hearing Don

[first day in the mob] *leans over to mafioso* Hey, so, uhh, I've always wondered: are they all just named "Don" or...

Had a dream some of my friends were mooning me, woke up at the crack of Don.

JOSH: Hey dad DAD: Oh my god is your name still Josh JOSH: Um yeah DAD: We're changing it JOSH: No please don- DAD: It's done ERIC: What the

BREAKING NEWS ON FACEBOOK! Pam wants everyone to know what a great husband Don has been these last 8 years & for making her so very happy!

Intelligence (long and racist) *I'm not racist; this is how the joke was told to me by my racist ass granddad. Best told in a Georgia accent.* Two niggers, Calvin and Rastus, are digging a ditch for their boss one hot summer's day. It's REALLY hot, both of them are soaked in sweat. After an hour or so, Calvin pipes up, ""Man Rastus, how it is dat we down here digging dis here ditch, doin' all tha work in the hot sun, and de boss man up theah sittin' in his truck under de tree in de A/C, and he g…

A Mafia Don hires a deaf accountant. He was pleased with himself for coming up with the idea; if the man could not hear, he would not be able to testify against the Don about what was said amongst him and his capos. One day, after several months of working near this man, he notices the accountant acting nervous and fidgety. Suddenly wary, the Don decides to take a look at his books to see if any funny business is afoot. After poring over the material, he realizes that there is about 10 million d…

Sailor walks up to a Pirate in a bar... ...offers to buy the pirate a drink if he tells him the tales of his hook, pegleg, and eye patch. The pirate agrees, but to one drink per tale. Sailor buys him a drink, and says, well, why don't you start with the pegleg? Pirate takes a long swig, leans forward and says ""SHARK!"" Sailor nods... opens his mouth, and the pirate interrupts him ""...as I said, shark took me leg; we was in heavy seas, attempting to take a ship, I be slashed and spashed o'r the…

Is my doctor a magician? Tom went to the doctors office for a physical check at the big age of 35. The normal routine check went fine and what he was most nervous for happened. "" Drop you pants and bend over"" he says, "" Don' worry it will be quick and painless"". He continues to put his gloves on and lubes them up really good. As he continues to do his job he says "" Do you feel anything, does it hurt"", It sounded awkward but hey lets tell him thought Tom. "" It hurts a bit"" he replied. The…

Beware of bacon... (read in a Mexican accent) Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close to death. They are close to just lying down and waiting for the inevitable, when all of a sudden... ""Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell? Ees bacon, I is sure of eet."" ""Si, Luis, eet smells like bacon to meee."" So with renewed strength, they struggle off up the next sand dune, and there, in the distance, is a tree, just loaded with bacon. There's raw bacon, dripping with moisture…

What do you call a giant elephant mafia boss that owns slaves? Masta-Don.

Did you hear Trump's children will be outside security advisors? Trump Don-un and Trump Don-il will serve our country well.

Hill and Don go to a bakery... Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump go to a bakery. As soon as they enter the bakery, Hillary steals three pastries and puts them in her pocket. She says to Donald, ""See how clever I am? The owner didn't see anything and I don't even need to lie."" I will definitely win the election. Then Donald says to Hillary, ""That's the typical dishonesty you have displayed throughout your entire life, trickery and deceit. I am going to show you an honest way to get the same res…

I hate punctuation period it apostrophe s is so irrelevant comma like why would we need it question mark all it does is cause confusion and grammar nazis anyway period don apostrophe t get me started on capital letters period

I've had many traumatic experiences with Mexicans... I don' wanna taco 'bout it.

A blonde wants to buy a T.V. A blonde walks into a shop and asks the owner ""I'd like to buy a television"". The owner says ""I don't sell to blondes."". The women walks out of the store frustrated. She comes in again the next day after dying her hair black. She asks the owner ""I'd like to buy a television"". The owner says ""I don' sell to blondes"". Confused, the woman asks, ""how did you know i was blonde?"". The owner answered, ""Only a blonde would walk into a microwave shop asking for a T…

A Scottish man is walking down the street wearing a kilt. A young woman approaches the man and asks,""Are ye a true Scotsman under that kilt there?"" The man replies ""Why don' ye stick yer hand up there an' find out feryerself"" So the woman reaches under the man's kilt and quickly pulls it back yelling ""It's gruesome"" To which the man replies ""Aye lass, but why don' ye stick yer hand up there again. I think it just grew some more.""

Husband: I lost my wife says to Inspector Husband: I lost my wife; she went shopping & hasn't come back yet. Inspector: what is her height? Husband: I never checked. Inspector: Slim or Healthy? Husband: Not Slim can be healthy. Inspector: color of eyes? Husband: Never Notice. Inspector: color of hair? Husband: Changes According to season. Inspector: What was she wearing? Husband: Not sure whether it was a dress or a suit. Inspector: Was she driving? Husband: yes. Inspector: Color of the car?…

Don McClean's wife just surpassed American Pie as his greatest hit.

Jeff and Don are singing deck the halls.... When they both suddenly die part way through the song. They are reincarnated as ass-less chaps. Jeff looks over and says: ""Don, we now are gay apparel.""

I lost my job as a waiter Apparently, I had insulted an infamous mafia boss by taking away his plate. He told me he was Don

What do you call a knight with a morning star? Don

""Help! Help me!"" When a zoo's gorilla dies, the zookeeper hires an actor to don a costume and act like an ape until the zoo can get another one. In the cage, the actor makes faces, swings around, and draws a huge crowd. He then crawls across a partition and atop the lion's cage, infuriating the animal. But the actor stays in characteruntil he loses his grip and falls into the lion's cage. Terrified, the actor shouts, ""Help! Help me!"" Too late. The lion pounces, opens its massive jaws, and wh…

Boudreaux and Thibodeaux find a well Boudreaux and Thibodeaux were walking through the woods one day when they come across a well. Boudreaux said, ""ey thiboudeaux how deep you tink dis well be."" Thiboudeaux replies ""I donno dere boudreaux les fine out."" So the two begin throwing things down the well and cannot hear or see the things hitting the bottom. Then boudreaux spots an old train tire laying near the bushes. ""Hey thibodeaux I gots me an idere help me move dis here train tir"" So they …

The Purple Butterflies Timmy was on his way to school one bright summer day and had a giant smile on his face. His parents watched from the doorway, waving, and smiling as there son disappeared into this distance. On his way he meets up with his friends and they all begin talking. He looks over and sees a purple butterfly flying around for a moment, before disappearing behind some bushes. The bell rings and he runs inside. ""How are you Timmy?"" Lucy asks him. ""Good,"" he grins. ""Have you ever…