#don

There was a man who loved tractors... He was completely obsessed with the mechanical marvel. Everyday morning, he would get out of his tractor jammies and don his tractor riding garments. Freshen up in his tractor themed bathroom before heading out to the fields. Then, he'd head outside, stick his keys(with a tractor keychain on it) into his tractor and start it up. He would then ride up and down his field all day ploughing the field with his tractor. Only at dusk would he part unwillingly with …

a jewish boy and a maffia dons' son decide to trade birthday gifts the Jewish boy has a rolex watch, the maffia dons' son has a Beretta. they both decide the other has the better gift so they swap gifts and go home. the jewish father finds the Beretta and says "" what is this? this is not good, this is not good!"" the mafia don finds the rollex watch and grabs his son and sits him down. ""what the hell is this?"" he says ""One day your guna grow up, have a nice house, a good looking broad, and y…

So two good ol' boys are talking on the porch... ...and one says to the other, ""Heard you an' yer wife're havin' a yung'un."" The other says, ""Yup."" First one says, ""Gonna be boy or girl?"" Other says, ""Don' know. Still tryna figger out if I'm a dad or an uncle.""

Why don black people go on cruises? Pssshh, they're not falling for that one again.

The Polish Divorce A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well. One day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him. The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and this conversation ensued: ""Have you any grounds?"" Yes, an acre and half and nice little home. ""No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?"" It's made of concrete. ""I don' …

The Lone Ranger and his faithful American Indian sidekick Tonto are riding the plains. The Lone Ranger and his faithful native American sidekick Tonto are riding the plains. It's midwinter and bitterly cold so the heroic duo enter a saloon for a warming drink. The bartender takes one look at Tonto and shouts: ""Get him outtahere. We don' serve no Injuns!"" Faithful Tonto agrees to wait outside while the Lone Ranger has a quick drink. To keep warm he decides to run around his horse. Alas the drin…

Thibodeaux was driving his car past Beaudreaux's house and saw a sign that read: ""Boat for Sale"". Thibodeaux marches up to Beaudreaux's front porch and raps hard on the door and Beaudreaux opens it. Thibodeaux say, ""Beaudreaux! How long we ban frands?"" Beaudreaux say, ""Well......All our lives, Thibodeaux"". Thibodeaux say, ""Why don you tole me you gotta boat?"" Beaudreaux say, ""I ain't gotta boat!"" Thibodeaux say, ""Da' sign say; 'BOAT for SALE'. Beaudreaux say, ""OH - NO Thibodeaux!!...…

A mafia Don was golfing with two golf associates: a deaf man and his interpreter lawyer. Since the Don was looking for a new man to make weekly collections from his private businesses, he ask the lawyer to ask the deaf man if he was willing to help. This way if he were to get caught, he wouldn't be able to communicate to the police about what he was doing. The deaf man accepted. On his first week, the deaf man picked up over $50,000. He decided to keep the money and stashed it in a safe place. T…

After a visit to the circus Geoff and Don were discussing the thrills and marvels they had seen. ""I didn't think much of the knife thrower did you?"" said Geoff. ""I thought he was great!"" enthused Don. ""Well I didn't"" said Geoff. ""He kept throwing those knives at that soppy girl but he didn't hit her once.""

A golfer is playing at St. Andrews on a beautiful hot day....... .....when he stops by one of the streams to get a drink. As he puts his hand in to scoop out some water he hears a shout from the greens keeper: "Eh, don drink tha, it's full a cow shite an pish!" "I'm sorry sir, but could you repeat yourself, I'm from England you see," says the golfer. "I said use two hands so you don't spill anyway!"

Recently, I was watching the Republican debate, and they were debating abortion. Donald Trump was talking about how opposed to it he was, but I thought to myself, come on Don, you're a businessman. I bet you wouldn't be this upset if you could charge them an early termination fee.

Husband: I lost my wife says to Inspector Husband: I lost my wife; she went shopping & hasn’t come back yet. Inspector: what is her height? Husband: I never checked. Inspector: Slim or Healthy? Husband: Not Slim can be healthy. Inspector: color of eyes? Husband: Never Notice. Inspector: color of hair? Husband: Changes According to season. Inspector: What was she wearing? Husband: Not sure whether it was a dress or a suit. Inspector: Was she driving? Husband: yes. Inspector: Color of the car? .…

A rich-looking woman walks into a butcher’s shop. She looks at the poultry on display, and finally selects the scrawniest chicken. A little surprised, the butcher picks it up, gives her the total; and she’s on her merry way. The next week, the lady returns, and again, despite all her apparent wealth, she chooses the smallest chicken. The butcher, again, complies, and off she goes. The third week. Same scenario. She ignores the Poule de Bresse, the pheasants, the pintades, the fine cuts. Just…

There was once, in a small town, a man named Don. One day Don was walking on top of a fence, and he slipped. When he slipped, the fence split him in half, right up the middle, but miraculously, each half of Don survived! Each half got up, started hopping away, and essentially started living separate lives. The left half, more prone to rational thought, spent most of its time in libraries, and got an accounting gig. The right half, more creative, picked up painting, and taught pottery at the lo…

You don' find out what true love is until you get married. And by then it's to late to turn back.

Why don't you transport onions by boat? You don' want your boat to be full of leeks.

How do mob boss mules open doors? With Don-keys.

In Scotland, the most important time for a young lad is when he "comes of age" and is allowed to purchase and wear his first kilt. A couple of weeks before his important birthday, a young lad went to a tailor shop and found the material he wanted for his first kilt. He took the material to the tailor and said, "I'd like ye to make me a kilt with this material here and, if ye don't mind, I'd like ye to make me a pair of matching underwear for it. I hear it gets a might drafty up dem tings!" So th…