#blonde

A blonde goes out for a joy ride in the country.. As she's driving she looks over into the corn field and sees another blonde in a row boat trying to row across the field. Infuriated she pulls over and yells to the blonde in the boat, ""you know, it's dumb blondes like you who give us intelligent blondes a bad name! I'm half tempted to swim out there and kick your ass!!""

A blonde, a brunette, and redhead went camping... One day three women went camping - a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. The blonde suddenly had to go to the bathroom. She went into the woods with her toilet paper and did her business. While she was gone, the brunette and the redhead decided to play a joke on her. They skinned a rabbit and snuck up on the blonde, put the guts behind her and ran back to the campsite. Three minutes later they heard a scream. Then they waited another half an hour a…

A blonde from the city is tired of being teased. She just can't take the blonde jokes anymore. So, she dyes her hair red and moves to the country. She is sitting along a country road looking at a field full of sheep. She counts all the sheep and comes up with an idea to get a sheep of her own. She drives to the farm house and finds the farmer. ""Good afternoon. Is that your field full of sheep?"" She asks the farmer. ""Yes it is"" replies the farmer. ""I would just love to have a pet sheep. But …

The Blonde and the Blinker Two blondes were driving down the road. The blonde driving looks at her friend in the passenger seat and asks her to see if her blinker is working. So the blonde looks out the window and says, ''Yes. No. Yes. No.''

A Blonde Walks into a Library A blonde walks into a library and slams a book on the desk. She says, ""This is the worst book I've ever read!! There's no plot and it has way too many characters!!"" The librarian says, ""So that's what happened to our phonebook.""

Two blonde girls are celebrating at a table... The waiter comes by and asks ""What are you celebrating?"" They say ""We finished this puzzle in only 6 months! And the box says from 2 to 4 years!""

A blonde who finds herself sitting next to a lawyer on an airplane.. A blonde who finds herself sitting next to a lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just keeps bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offers her 10 to 1 odds, and says every time the blonde can not answer one of his questions, she owes him $5, but every time he cannot answer hers, he'll give her $50. The lawyer figures he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepts. The lawyer first…

Blondes car get a flat tire She stops on the shoulder gets out and starts blowing in the muffler, another blonde stops next and ask her what she's doing, blonde answers she has a flat tire, the other blonde amused tells her, ""Are you stupid? first you have to roll the windows up..."" Edit:grammar

A ventriloquist does a show A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting: ""I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep wo…

Three women- a blond, a brunette, and a red head, are all about to be executed by ISIS The red head was up first. Right before she was going to be executed she yelled, ""TORNADO!"" All of the ISIS members took cover and she escaped. The brunette was the next in line. She followed in the red-head's footprints and this time screamed ""SANDSTORM!"" The gullible ISIS members again ducked for cover while she escaped. The blonde thought to herself, ""This is going to be easy. These people are idiots."…

Smart blonde joke Three women go down to Mexico one night to celebrate college graduation. They get drunk and wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning though none of them can remember what they did the night before. The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if she has any last words. She says, ""I just graduated from Trinity Bible College and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent."" They th…

Why couldn't the blonde count to 70? Because 69 was a mouthful

Meanwhile in a library A blonde enters the library and asks the librarian: ""2 cheeseburgers, fries and a diet cola, please! ' The librarian answers : ""excuse me lady, but this is a library"". The blonde asks the librarian to come a bit closer and whispers quietly: ""2 cheeseburgers, fries and a diet cola, please...""

The Blonde Nun. One night a blonde nun was praying in her room when God appeared before her. ""My daughter, you have pleased me greatly. Your heart is full of love for your fellow creatures and your actions and prayers are always for the benefit of others. I have come to you, not only to thank and commend you, but to grant you anything you wish,"" said God. ""Dear Heavenly Father, I am perfectly happy. I am a bride of Christ. I am doing what I love. I lack for nothing material since the Church s…

A blonde teenager wanting to earn some extra money... A blonde teenager, wanting to earn some extra money for the summer, decided to hire herself out as a ""handy-woman"" She started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do. ""Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch,"" he said, ""How much will you charge me?"" Delighted, the girl quickly responded, ""How about $50?"" The man a…

Blonde painter A blonde was recently fired from an M&M factory for throwing away Ws and peeling the shells on the candies. Therefore, she needed a new job to support herself. After going around town asking if anyone needed work done, she found a man who needed a painter. ""I'm here for the paint job,"" she said. ""Alright,"" said the man. ""Here is the paint and your brush. I want you to paint my porch behind the house."" The blonde immediately went to work painting. Within an hour, she was …

A Blond runs into a crowded bar A blond runs into a crowded bar shouting to everybody ""26 days! 26 days! Drinks on me!"" The patrons at the bar all cheer for the blond and the bartender pours everybody a drink. A few minutes later the blond again shouts ""26 days! 26 days! Drinks on me!"". Again, cheering is heard by everybody at the bar and the bartender pours everybody their second free drink. Once again after a few minutes the blond starts with the shouting ""26 days! 26 days! Drinks on me!"…

My boss is sending me abroad for a business trip next week. I hope she's a blonde.

A blonde has a BS in Science... Bullshit, isn't it?

So these three blondes die trying to jump the Grand Canyon... Fortunately for them, they were all Christians, so they went straight up to Heaven and met Saint Peter at the gate. He put down his newspaper and greeted the women with a smile. ""Alright ladies, I have no problem letting you into Heaven, but you need to answer me one simple question- what is Easter?"" ""Oh that's easy!"" The first blonde steps forward ""It's that holiday when the Pilgrims came to America and we celebrate all of our b…

A blonde hears a guy telling blond jokes... She says ""i'm blond, and that's very insulting."" Guy says, ""alright, I'll repeat it slowly.""

A blonde is driving along the road one day and she passes an open field. As she is driving by she sees another blonde out in the middle of the field in a row boat rowing frantically even though she is not in any water and is not making any progress. Furious at what she sees the blonde pulls over her car on the side of the road and gets out of the car. After observing the blonde rowing frantically and getting nowhere, she can't contain her rage any longer. ""HEY!!"" the blond screams at the other…

Blondes CAN count sheep So sick of hearing blonde jokes, a blonde cut her long hair and dyed it brown. The next day she drove out into the countryside where she came upon a flock of sheep crossing the road. Stopping her car to watch the fluffy flock, she called out to the shepherd, ""Your sheep are so cute. If I guess how many sheep you have, will you give me one of them?"" The shepherd was taken by the woman's beauty and said to her, ""Yes"". So the woman said the first number that came into he…

A black man finds the ID of Leonardo Di Caprio on the ground. He takes it and goes away. Some days later he is stopped by the police while driving like crazy on a city road. They ask him his ID and, to avoid unnecessary problems, he gives them the ID he found on the ground. The officer looks at the ID and back to the man. He reads aloud: ""Name: Leonardo, last name: Di Caprio."" He looks at the driver, a bit perplexed. ""Hair: blonde, eyes: blue."" Looks at him again. Then the cop calls his coll…

A blonde and a brunette are watching a TV show... The brunette bets the blonde $10 that the man in the episode would jump off a bridge. The man jumps off the bridge and blonde pays the the brunette $10. The brunette feels guilty because she had already seen the episode, so she confesses to the blonde. The blonde says, ""I've seen it too, but I didn't think he would jump again.""