#blonde

A guy took a blonde to a her first football game... She had never watched football before, and so the guy was prepared to explain everything to her, but to his surprise she didn't ask a single question and cheered enthusiastically the whole game. Afterwards, as they were leaving, he asked her how she liked the game. She said it was a blast but she was confused about one thing. He asked her what it was. ""well, at the beginning, they flipped a coin, and then for the rest of the game everyone was …

Blonde Joke An old visually impaired cattle rustler meanders into an all-young lady biker bar by misstep... He discovers his way to a bar stool and requests an injection of Jack Daniels. Subsequent to staying there for some time, he shouts to the barkeep, 'Hello, you wanna hear a blonde joke?' The bar quickly falls completely quiet. In a profound, imposing voice, the lady by him says, 'Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is not out of the question, given that you are visually impaired,…

A blind man walks into a bar... A blind man walks into a bar, orders a drink and says, ""Hey! Does anyone want to hear a blonde joke?"" Then the woman next to him taps his shoulder and says, ""Listen mister, I'm a bodybuilder, 5 foot 9 of pure muscle, and I'm blonde. The bouncer over there, he's a martial arts expert and his hands are registered as lethal weapons! He's blonde too! And the bartender, she's 6 foot 2, is a roller derby star and is also a blonde! So do you still wanna tell that blon…

A blonde says to another: Guess what? I solved a puzzle this morning. The other girl says: so what? What's the big deal? ""Well, I solved it in half an hour when the instructions manual clearly stated '3-5 years"".

A guy walked into his friend's office , he found him sitting at his desk, looking very depressed. ""Hey, what's up with you?"", he asks. ""Oh, its my wife,"" replied the man sadly. ""She's hired a new secretary for me."" ""Well, nothing wrong in that. Is she blonde or brunette?"" ""Neither, He's bald.""

A Blonde and a Brunette are having coffee In walks the Brunettes' fiancee, bearing a dozen roses. The Brunette rolls her eyes and says ""now I'm going to have to spend the weekend with my legs up in the air."" The Blonde looks at the Brunette with surprise, and says ""oh, don't you have a vase?""

Blonde: Doctor, it hurts everywhere I touch. Doctor: You have a broken finger.

A depressed blonde decided that she wanted to commit suicide. She went to the park to find a tree to hang herself on. A few days later, a man was walking his dog and spotted her hanging from the tree. He asks the blonde what she is doing and she replies, ""I'm hanging myself."" ""You're supposed to put the noose are your neck, not your waist,"" said the onlooker. ""I tried that,"" replied the blonde, ""but I couldn't breathe...""

The concept of blonde jokes are very simple. Everybody gets it, not the blondes though.

A redhead tells her blonde step-sister that she slept with a Brazilian... ...and she replies with ""Omg! You slut! How many is a brazilian?""

The magic oasis A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead were lost in the desert when they came across a magic oasis. The brunette got a glass of the oasis's water, drank it, and said, ""Car"". POOF, the brunette was sitting on a brand new car. She stated the car and drove away. After the brunette drove away, the blonde got a glass of the oasis's water, drank it, and said, ""Motorcycle"". POOF, the blonde was sitting on a brand new motorcycle. She stated the motorcycle and drove away. After the blond…

A husband and his blonde wife. A husband and his blonde wife are watching the news, when they see a snow storm warning, 6 to 8 inches. The news says to park your car on the even side of the street. She promptly gets up and moves her car. 2 weeks later another storm is moving in, and the news says to park on the odd side of the street. So she again gets up and moves the car. A few weeks later, they are watching the news and see another storm coming in. As the announcer is about to say where to pa…

Electronics shop A blonde walks into a shop and spots a TV. She goes up to the cashier and says ""excuse me Sir, can I buy that TV?"" He shakes his head and says ""no blondes allowed"". Furious, she goes home, dyes her hair, and walks in the next day. ""Can I buy that TV?"" The cashier shakes his head. ""I said yesterday, no blondes allowed"". She was even angrier now, so she went home, shaved her hair, bought a wig, and returned a week later, asking ""Can I buy this TV?"" The cashier shakes his…

How does a blonde turn on the light after making love? Opens the car door.

A blonde a Brunette and a Redhead are stuck on an island... One day a Blonde a Brunette and a Redhead are stuck on an island. All of a sudden a magic Genie comes to them and will grant them one wish to get off the island. The Brunette jumps up and says I wanna go first! so she jumps up and screams airplane and she turns into an airplane and flies away. The Redhead jumps of the island and says BIRD! and she turns into a bird and flies away. The Blonde jumps of the cliff looks down and becomes sup…

80,000 blondes meet in a football stadium for a ""Blondes Are Not Stupid"" Convention. The leader says, ""We are all here today to prove to the world that blondes are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?"" A blonde gingerly works her way through the crowd and steps up to the stage. The leader asks her, ""What is 15 plus 15?"" After 15 or 20 seconds she says, ""Eighteen!"" Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then 80,000 blondes start cheering, ""Give her another chance! Give her another c…

Three blond women are stuck on an island ... ...within sight of mainland but too far to swim. They stumble onto a magic lamp and a genie pops out and offers them each one wish. The first blonde wishes she were twice as smart so she could get off the island. The genie turns her into a redhead and she finds a large piece of driftwood that gives just enough buoyancy that she manages to swim to shore. The second blonde thinks that looks like too much energy so she wishes she were five times as smart…

A Blonde in a Cornfield A blonde was on her way home from work when she saw a fellow blonde rowing a canoe in the middle of a cornfield. Outraged she pulls her car over and runs to the side of the road closest to where the canoe is. At the top of her lungs she yells ""HEY! IT'S BLONDES LIKE YOU THAT GIVE US BLONDES A BAD NAME. YOU'RE LUCKY YOU'VE GOT A BOAT, BECAUSE IF I KNEW HOW TO SWIM, I'D COME OUT THERE AND KICK YOUR ASS!!!""

A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank; she has the title, and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all enj…

Three girls are driving in a desert when their car breaks down. One of them was a brunette, the other one a redhead, and the last one, a blonde. As their car broke down in the middle of nowhere and they know nothing about cars, they decide to take a part of the car with them. The brunette says: ""I'm gonna take the roof, so I can protect myself from sandstorms. The redhead says: I'm gonna take the seat so I can sit down and rest on it at night. The blonde says: Well I'm gonna take the door, so w…

34 Days!! A bartender is at the beginning of his shift, when a few blondes come in and get a table. The group begins cheering and chanting ""34 Days! 34 Days!!"" One after another they come up for drinks and rounds of shots for their table. Thinking nothing of it, the bartender happily obliges. After about an hour the number of blondes grow to more than twice the size of the starting group. They continue cheering and chanting ""34 Days! 34 Days!!"" Happy and drunk, they continue to buy more drin…

Three blondes are hiking in Scotland They set out early afternoon on a sunny Thursday morning in the middle of July. The three girls are kitted out with the best equipment that money can buy and have got their route from Stirling to Callander planned perfectly. After an hour or so of walking one of the blondes comes across some tracks in a field. She claims them to be rabbit tracks, while a second blonde says they must be deer tracks cause they are far to big. Upon hearing this the third blonde …

32 Days A bartender was working at his bar, when in walks 3 blondes. They seem very happy and excited. They are carrying a small picture and are chanting ""32 days"", ""32 days"", ""32 days"". Obviously very please with themselves, they sit down and order a pitcher of Margareta, that the bartender brings them. After about 10 minutes another 5 blondes walk in and as soon as they see the first 3 they run over there, highfiving each other and chanting ""32 days"", ""32 days"", ""32 days"", followed…

A blond is done with all the blond jokes. So she makes a plan.... She sells her house, dyes her hair and packs her stuff in her small car. She heads in a random direction to find a place to start her new life as a brunette. After some time driving she finds herself in a hilly landscape. She is in unknown territory and decides it's time for her first smart act. She sees some sheep and a herder in a field yonder and decides to crawl up a small hill and count the sheep. Being very careful not to be…

Three women were shopping at the market place in a foreign country... A ravishing brunette, a scientist redhead, and a famous Blonde. As they explore the area, they find a fancy antique store with various interesting items, but the most alluring was a big oval mirror with a golden exquisite frame.   So they ask the owner about it, and he says ""ah, a very good eye you have, this is a special mirror which some say is cursed, others say it is a blessing."" He continues ""it is said if you…