#blonde

The blonde convention All of the blondes in the world decided that they were tired of always being stereotyped as stupid. They wanted to prove to the world that they were just as smart as anyone else. In order to do this, they decided to hold a huge convention and televise it in order to prove their intelligence. As part of the convention they had Steve Harvey ask some trivia questions. The first blonde got up on stage, and the category of math came up. Steve Harvey asked the first blonde ""What…

A redditor walks in to bar... The bartender says, ""what'll you have?"" ""It's been so long since I've had a good laugh"", replies the redditor. ""I'll give you $100 if you can tell me a joke I haven't heard before."" ""That sounds easy enough"", replies the bartender. ""I should warn you"", the redditor says, ""I browse /r/jokes so I've heard them all over and over and over again"". Curious, the bartender pulls out his phone and browses /r/jokes for a few minutes. ""How about this?"" he asks, "…

What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning? Walks home.

What does a blonde put behind her ears to look attractive? Her ankles.

Why can't a blonde dial 911 She can't find the eleven. Not sure if someone already posted this joke but a friend told me so I had to post it.

""I'll have a cheeseburger with a large coke,"" The blonde girl requested. ""Excuse me miss, this is a library."" ^^""I'll ^^have ^^a ^^cheeseburger ^^with ^^a ^^large ^^coke,"" she whispered.

Three women go down to Mexico one night to celebrate college graduation They get drunk and wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning though none of them can remember what they did the night before. The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if she has any last words. She says, ""I just graduated from Trinity Bible College and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent."" They throw the switch and …

Two Intelligent Blondes A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde. The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated."" What does it look like?"" she finally asked. The policewoman replied, ""It is square and it has your picture on it."" The driver finally found a square mirror, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman.…

blonde joke A blonde woman was driving by a cornfield and saw a different blonde woman in the middle of the field in a canoe trying to row through the field. The woman in the car slammed on the brakes and rolled down her window ""you know it's blondes like you that make blondes like me look bad and if I could swim I would come out there and kick your ass"".

A blonde marries an elderly billionaire... When the two are engaged, her friends and family remind her, ""Make sure he puts you in the will!!"" When the two are walking down the aisle, her friends and family whisper, ""Make sure he puts you in the will!!"" When the two are on their Honeymoon, her friends and family phone to say, ""Make sure he puts you in the will!!"" At the funeral soon after, the blonde holds up her hand. ""Don't say it! Yes, I made sure he put me in the will."" She then looks…

A Blonde is driving in her car and turns on the radio. It says that 2 Brazilian men were killed. She starts crying and says, ""How many is a Brazilian?""

If a blonde and a brunette jump off a bridge, who would hit the ground first? The brunette, the blonde would stop for directions!

Hitch Hiking An attractive Canadian blonde was hitch hiking. A trucker pulled over and offered her a ride. When the blonde got in the cab, she saw all the CB equipment that the driver had installed. She asked the driver, ""What's that?"" The driver explained that it was CB equipment and with it, he could contact anyone in the world. The hiker exclaimed, ""Anybody in the world!!?? You mean, you could reach my Mother in Canada with that equipment??"" The driver said that she could and the blonde r…

Bus Stop Confusion Two blondes wait at a bus stop. A bus pulls up and opens the door. One of the blondes leans inside and asks the driver, ""Will this bus take me to 5th Avenue?"" The bus driver says, ""No, I'm sorry."" The other blonde leans inside and asks, ""How about me?""

How do you keep a blonde busy? Put ""flip"" on both sides of a piece of paper

2 blondes realize that their apartment is on fire... Two blondes realize that their apartment is on fire and go out onto the balcony. ""Help, help!"" yells one of the blondes. ""Help us, help us!"" yells the other. ""Maybe it would help if we yelled together,"" said the first blonde. ""Good idea,"" said the other. ""Together, together!""

Slow Down Love 5 minutes before landing in Melbourne the pilot says to the passengers ' Good morning everyone, we hope you enjoyed your flight with Qantas. It is currently 14 degrees and cloudy. Have a great day' After the speech the pilot puts the mic down forgetting to mute it. So the other pilot goes on to saying... ' So what are u going to do when we land'? 'Well first im gonna get something to eat, take a shit then im gonna bang the blonde flight attendant at the back. The flight attendant …

There's a blond and a brunette in a car... There's a blond and a brunette in a car. The brunette is driving while the blonde is in the passenger seat. They're going down a steep hill when the brunette realizes that the brakes don't work. The brunette tells the blonde that the brakes don't work and they will drive off the side of the cliff because they failed to stop. The blonde then replies, ""Don't worry! There's a stop sign ahead."" -

A Blonde and a Lawyer are Seated Next To Each Other A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, ""I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vice versa."" Again, she declines an…

BLOND FATHER A blond man and a brunette woman were happily married and about to have a baby. One day, the wife started having contractions, so the husband rushed her to the hospital, and she gave birth to two baby boys. The blond man turned to his wife and yelled, ""All right, who's the other father?""

The blonde and ventriloquist A blond woman goes into a pub, where a ventriloquist sits at the scene with a puppet who tells the one blonde joke after the other. After a while the blonde gets angry and goes up to the ventriloquist and says: ""shut up about all the blonde jokes, we are not that stupid"". The ventriloquist then replies: ""Sorry, but these are just jokes, you are not supposed to take them seriously"". ""I was not talking to you, I was talking to that little bastard on your lap"".

A homeless man walks into a gym to take a shower. He accidentally walks into the ladies shower, but doesn't notice cause it's empty. When he's done, and just about to get dressed, he hears 3 women coming in. He grabs a towel and covers his junk. Then he quickly reconsiders and wraps it around his face instead, so they won't recognize him. The 3 ladies walk in, and look him up and down. The brunette looks at his crotch and says ""Well, it's not my husband."" The redhead takes a look and says ""Ye…

Three women are about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde. Two guards brings the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.   She says no, and the executioner shouts, ""Ready . . . Aim . . .""   Suddenly the brunette yells, ""earthquake!!""   Everyone is startled and looks around. She manages to escape.   The angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last…

What goes Vrrrooom-schreech, Vrrrooom-schreech, Vrrrooom-schreech? A blonde at a flashing red light.

A Blond, Burnett and a Red Head are stuck on a deserted Island. After days of searching for a way off, they come across a lamp. After picking it up a genie appears. The genie tells them that if the want to get of the Island they need to run and jump off the cliff. As they fall to the ocean below yell out want you want to turn into and you will be able to get away safely. The Redhead runs off the cliff and yells ""Eagle"" and flies away safely. The Burnett jumps off the cliff yells ""Dolphin"" an…