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It was Donald Trump's first day in office, and he had no clue what to do... He decided to call upon the ghosts of previous great presidents to ask for their advice. ""What do I have to do to become a great president?"" Trump asked the ghost of George Washington. ""You must never tell a lie,"" Washington responded. Trump scoffed. ""No way! do you really expect me to do that? You're useless Washington."" The ghost vanished, only to be replaced by the spirit of Thomas Jefferson. ""What must I do to

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Trump's first day at the Oval Office after being elected President First briefing to the President by CIA, Pentagon, FBI: Trump: We must destroy ISIS immediately. No delays. CIA: We cannot do that, sir. We created them along with Turkey, Iran, Qatar and others. Trump: The Democrats created them. CIA: We created ISIS, sir. You need them or else you would lose funding from the natural gas lobby. Trump: Stop funding Pakistan. Let India deal with them. CIA: We can't do that. Trump: Why is that? CIA:

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Trump on Day 1 Trump's first day at the Oval Office, after being elected President First briefing by the CIA, Pentagon, FBI: Trump: We must destroy ISIS immediately. No delays. CIA: We cannot do that, sir. We created them along with Turkey, Saudi, Qatar and others. Trump: The Democrats created them. CIA: We created ISIS, sir. You need them or else you would lose funding from the natural gas lobby. Trump: Stop funding Pakistan. Let India deal with them. CIA: We can't do that. Trump: Why is that?

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The Pope Drives The Pope goes to New York. He is picked up at the airport by a limousine. He looks at the beautiful car and says to the driver, ''You know, I hardly ever get to drive. Would you please let me?'' The driver is understandably hesistant and says, ''I'm sorry, but I don't think I'm supposed to do that.'' But the pope persists, ''Please?'' The driver finally lets up. ''Oh, all right, I can't really say no to the pope.'' So the pope takes the wheel, and boy, is he a speed demon! He hit

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The basketball coach storms into the president office and demands a raise.. The basketball coach stormed into the university president's office and demanded a raise right then and there. ""Jesus Christ, man,"" protested President Kubritski, ""you already make more than the entire English department."" ""Yeah, maybe so, but you don't know what I have to put up with,"" the coach blustered. ""Look."" He went out into the hall and grabbed a jock who was jogging down the hallway. ""Run over to my off

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epic meeting of world's top leaders During a World Economic Summit, George W Bush, Mexican President Vincente Fox, Russian President Vladimir Putin, and French Prime minister Jacques Chirac are ceremonially riding in Japan's newest bullet train. As you might know all of these political leaders have big egos and this is what ensued. George Bush says ""This is a fine bottle of wine Prime Minister Chirac"" Upon hearing this Prime Minister Chirac throws out a case of France's finest wine and says ""

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A big earthquake hits the Middle East.. A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 strikes the Middle East, Two million Muslims die and over a million are injured, Iraq, Syria, and even parts of Iran are completely in rubble and don't know where to start with the rebuilding process. Also in shock, the rest of the world begins sending relief and supplies, Britain is sending in troops to keep the peace, Saudi Arabia, not as impacted, is sending oil and monetary assistance, Latin American countries

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