#president

If Clinton is elected president... It will be the first time two presidents slept with each other...

Heartbeats away from president When you're a Vice President people say you're a heartbeat away from president. But really, it's a failed heartbeat away from president

TIL that the current chinese president Xi Jinping, has a PhD in English literature. That's why the Chinese people call him ""The Great Reader"".

Voting for the president ... At the day of election, no one showed up as they didn't see any good future for the great 'Murica. And as all the politicians stood baffled, Obama stepped in and made everyone agree to make a literal presidential race. The contest was to see who could get around the white house the fastest. Bernie started it out, but due to his age, he wasn't able to get a faster time than 27:05. Trump went second, being the great American he was, he got the time 14:56, which was qui…

If Donald Trump becomes president... Does that make orange the new black?

Vanilla Ice should be President If there's a problem, yo, he'll solve it.

""You're Fired!"" Said President Trump to all of our nuclear rockets

A Story if Trump Wins The Election Donald Trump won the 2016 Presidential election. The first night was packed full of activities and tours of the White House. Trump finally got to his room and was falling asleep in his new bed and saw the ghost of George Washington appear in front of him during his dream. Donald called out to him, ""President Washington, he called, how do I become a great President for the United States?"" George thought for a moment and said to Trump, ""President Trump, he sai…

""So what kind of cancer can you tolerate the most?"" -Me on which President Candidate you're going to vote

Breaking News! President Putin have decided to restore Crimea territory to Ukraine. But President Poroshenko was so drunk and just declined the offer.

President Trump goes to the Olympics At the 2018 Olympics, President Trump begins his speech. ""O!"" applause. ""O!"" more applause. ""O!"" yet more applause. ""O!"" an Huuuge ovation. ""O!!!"" the whole audience stands up and goes wild. An aide comes running to the podium and whispers, ""President Trump , those are the Olympic rings, you don't need to read them!""

A reality TV mogul, a woman, and a Jew are running for president... And that's just the front runners!

The obligatory ""cattle guard"" joke for the next president Stolen from [Snopes](http://www.snopes.com/politics/humor/cattleguards.asp) For those of you who have never traveled to the west, or southwest, cattle guards are horizontal steel rails placed at fence openings, in dug-out places in the roads adjacent to highways (sometimes across highways), to prevent cattle from crossing over that area. For some reason the cattle will not step on the ""guards,"" probably because they fear getting their…

Trump gets elected president.. On inauguration day, he swears in as President. Before delivering his inauguration speech, he turns to Obama and says ""President Obama, You're Fired""

The only reason millienials want to see Trump become president.. Because we've never seen a president assassinated before.

I sincerely hope Trump does become President Because at least Australian Politics won't be the butt of every joke anymore. Sincerely, still a rather embarrassed Australian citizen.

""LBJ"" was a president... Not a Spanish term for Hump Day activities.

Repeat after me: President Trump.

Fox News and Obama Fox News is cowering down to the President... In response to President Obama's complaint that FOX News doesn't show enough Black and Hispanic people on their network, FOX has announced that they will now air ""America's Most Wanted"" TWICE a week.

in the 2020 olympics ... ... after Trump has become president, USA will have the best pole vaulting team in the world, consisting of only mexicans

What are the first few things Donald Trump will do as President * Turn the White House lawn into a expensive golf course for rent * Build a huge wall around the White House and make the visitors pay for it * Pass an executive action to cancel the 2008/2012 election alleging that Obama was not born in this country what else?

What is the first thing Trump will do when is the President Build a wall around the White House and make all the visitors pay for it!

A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale hits the Middle East . Two million Muslims die and over a million are injured. Iraq, Kuwait, UAE, Saudi Arabia and Syria are totally ruined and the governments don't know where to start with providing help to rebuild. The rest of the world is in shock. Britain is sending troops to help keep the peace. Saudi Arabia is sending oil & monetary assistance. Latin American countries are sending clothing. New Zealand and Australia are se…

The National Shredded Cheese Council just endorsed Donald Trump for president... They're ready to make America grate again.

Donald Trump is running for president Sadly I wish this was a joke.