#mick-jagger

You're born, you grow up, have kids, Mick Jagger is still alive, you die, your kids have kids, Mick Jagger is still alive......

*stops walking* Wait, I think there's a stone in my shoe *takes off shoe, shakes it upside down* *Mick Jagger hits the ground with a thud*

Mick Jagger: Hey Keith, come hold my new baby. Keith holding baby, whispers to it: I'm going to out live you too.

Give the frog a loan. A frog hops into a bank and approaches the teller, ""Please, ma'am,"" he says. ""I need to take out a loan so I can feed my family."" ""Do you have any sort of photo-ID?"" The teller asks. ""No,"" the frog replies. ""But I do have this!"" The frog pulls out a small golden elephant. The teller looks at the elephant, ""I'm sorry but without proper photo identification I cannot give you a loan."" ""Please! My family is hungry and we really need the money!"" The frog looks at t…

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scotsman? Mick Jagger says ""Hey! You! Get off of my cloud!"", but the Scotsman says ""Hey! McCloud! Get off of my ewe!""

Bank loan A frog walked into a loan office to ask for a loan and the loan officers name was Mr. Paddywack. Mr. Paddywack asked for collatoral as they always did and the frog said, ""I only have this little porcelin elephant."" The loan officer had said that it wasn't really collatoral, but he would ask his manager. The frog added ""oh yeah, and my dad is Mick Jagger."" The loan officer went to his manager and said, ""There is a frog out there who only has a small porcelin elephant, and he mentio…

A frog goes into a bank. . . . . . and approaches the teller. He can see from her name plate that the teller's name is Patricia Whak. So, he says, ""Mrs. Whak, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation."" Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow. The frog says ""$30,000."" The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it is OK, he knows the bank manager. Patti explains that $30,000…

A frog goes into a bank... A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack. ""Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."" Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager. Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral. The frog says, ""Sure. I have this,"" and produces …

A frog walks into a bank. The frog hops up on the counter of the nearest available teller and says ""I want a loan."" Confused, the teller asks for the frog's name. ""My name is Kermit Jagger, son of Rolling Stone's legend Mick Jagger, and I want a loan"" he says. ""And what is **YOUR** name?"" ""My name is Patricia. Patricia Whack"" replied the teller. ""I'm afraid we don't normally give loans to frogs, sir"" ""Look"" said the frog. ""I'm Kermit T. Jagger. My father is **Rolling Stones legend M…

Robert Plant, Paul McCartney, and Mick Jagger convene once a year to discuss all the great foods they've found travelling the globe on tour. Robert is the first to excited reveal his 'big find'. He takes out a little pie tray from a brown paper bag and places it on the table. ""It's a pastry of some kind from Tanzania. It's akin to what we call a quiche, but uses yak cheese and quail eggs instead!"" ""Fascinating"" says Paul, who is next to present his favourite foreign food to the group. He pul…

A frog went into a bank... He went to the teller's window, her name tag said ""Patricia Whack"". ""Hello Patricia,"" he said, ""I would like a 10,000 loan please."" Patricia was somewhat unsure, and replied ""We will need a guarantor, and some collateral before we could consider that."" The frog said ""That's fine, my father is Mick Jagger, and I have this as collateral."", holding up a small porcelain elephant. Patricia took the elephant, and told the frog that she would have to talk to her man…

A frog goes into a bank... A frog goes into a bank, and hops up on the desk of the loan officer. ''Hi,'' he croaks.''What's your name?'' The loan officer says, ''My name is John Paddywack. May I help you?'' ''Yeah,'' says the frog. ''I'd like to borrow some money.'' The loan officer finds this a little odd, but gets out a form. ''Okay,what's your name?'' The frog replies, ''Kermit Jagger.'' ''Really?'' says the loan officer. ''Any relation to Mick Jagger?'' ''Yeah, he's my dad.'' ''Hmmm,'' says …

Jimmy Hendrix, Eric Clapton, and Mick Jagger are walking along the beach in Morocco... Jimmy trips over something in the sand and looks down to see a golden lamp. He picks it up and *POOF* out pops a genie. The genie looks at the men and says ""I will grant you each one wish for freeing me from the lamp!"" Hendrix goes first. ""I wish for a diamond the size of my head!"" He exclaims. The genie nods his head and *POOF* a huge diamond appears in Hendrix's hands. Clapton gets excited and says, ""I …

Mick Jagger was awarded for his lifetime achievement in music industry for over 55 years. He didn't have a date to the ceremony so Kate Moss, who was a huge fan of Mick, volunteered to be with him for the night. It was decided that he'll pick her up from her hotel. On the evening of the ceremony Mick didn't pick her up and went straight to the ceremony alone. Apparently a rolling stone gathers no moss.

A frog wants a loan from the bank A frog walks into a bank and approaches the teller, whose name plate says Patricia Whack. ""Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $50,000 loan to take a vacation."" Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. ""Kermit Jagger. My father is Mick Jagger. It will be fine to authorize the loan, I know your manager."" Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral. ""Sure, how about this,"" said Kermit as he produces a tiny porcelain elep…

What's the difference between Mick Jagger (the Rolling Stones) and a Scotsman? (I heard this a long time ago and all apologies to peeps of Scotland and to Mick et al) What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scotsmand? To Mick it's ""Hey, hey, you, you, get off of my cloud."" And to a Scotsman it's, ""Hey McCloud! Get off of my ewe.""

Thanksgiving Poisoning A woman was arrested on Thanksgiving for trying to poison Mick Jagger and Keith Richard's Thanksgiving Day Turkey. When asked for the charges the officer replied, ""Trying to kill two stones with one bird.""

A frog goes into a bank... and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack. ""Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday"". Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that its ok, he knows the bank manager. Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral. The frog says, ""sure I have this"", and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, a…

A frog goes to the bank to get a loan He then sits with the loan officer named Patty Wack. The frog then explains that he needs to get a loan to start his own business. Patty looks the frog over and says, ""We don't give loans to just anyone that walks in here, tell me about yourself. Also, you need collateral to get a loan this large, what do you have to offer?"" The frog thinks for a moment and says, ""Well my father is Mick Jagger. And as for collateral I have this!"" He then puts a small gol…

A billionaire decides to build a palace to bring the best musicians of the 60's together in one place. After a year of hammering, sawing, and painting the palace is finally finished. It's perfect marble, chandeliers, and concert halls; dozens of swimming pools and tennis courts. Excited, the billionaire sends out his invitations. A few weeks later he sees Jefferson Airplane, The Beetles, Jimmy Hendrix and a hoard of 60's luminaries standing in the grass, but none are coming inside. Paul McCartn…

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottsman? Mick Jagger says ""Hey, you, get off of my cloud!"" A Scottsman says ""Hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe!""

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a scotsman? Mick Jagger says ""hey you, get off of my cloud."" a scotsman says ""hey McLeod, get off of my ewe!""

Kermit the frog walks into a bank... ...and walks up to the teller. Reading her name tag he greets her. ""Hello Patty I would like to take out a loan."" ""Uhh you cant take out a loan!?"" ""Well why not?"" ""We don't give frogs loans."" ""But my dad is Mick Jagger!"" ""That doesn't matter, we just don't give frogs loans."" ""I have collateral though."" ""You have collateral?"" Kermit reaches into his jacket pocket,pulls out a small elephant figurine, and hands it to Patty. Annoyed and slightly f…

So Mick Jagger has a pet frog... The frog decides he wants to buy a nice boat and sail the Caribbean, but he needs to take out a loan to pay for it. So he goes to the bank and talks to Ms. Paddiwack, the personal banker, about getting a loan. He explains that he is Mick Jagger's frog and all about the boat. Ms. Paddiwack asks him if he has any collateral for the loan. ""Oh, yes!"" the frog says, and he hands her a tiny, pink carving of an elephant. Ms. Paddiwack goes to her boss and says, ""Sir,…

A frog walks into a bank, and approaches the teller... He sees the tellers name tag reads Patty Black and says ""I'd like to take out a loan, Ms. Black"" ""Certainly,"" says the teller, ""how much would that be for?"" ""One million dollars."" replies the frog. ""Don't worry, it's ok, I know the manager."" The teller is understandably taken aback by this, and asks if the frog has any collateral to cover this. ""As a matter of fact, I do!"" says the frog, and he reaches into his pocket and hands o…