#keith-richards

In the recent news of Carrie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds both passing away... ...Keith Richards, the guitarist for the Rolling Stones, has confirmed to still be alive.

What do Julie Andrews in The Sound of Music and Keith Richards have in common? They both made habits fashionable.

Imagine if, in some fit of drug-induced rage back in the 60s, Keith Richards had killed David Crosby & Gram Parsons? Talk about killing two byrds with one stone.

Thanksgiving Poisoning A woman was arrested on Thanksgiving for trying to poison Mick Jagger and Keith Richard's Thanksgiving Day Turkey. When asked for the charges the officer replied, ""Trying to kill two stones with one bird.""

A frog goes into a bank for a loan. He goes up to the first available banker, Ms. Patty Hwak. He says, ""I'm going on vacation in 2 weeks. I'd like a vacation loan of $50,000. Don't worry, I'll be able to repay. My father is Keith Richards."" The banker knows nothing of this frog, and is prepared to deny his loan request. The frog says, ""Please, the branch manager knows me. Let me speak to them."" She gets the manager, who immediately recognizes the frog. ""It's a knick knack, Patty Hwak. Give …

A frog walks into a bank, and approaches the teller. He sees the tellers name tag read Paddy Black and says ""I'd like to take out a loan, Mrs. Black"" ""Certainly,"" says the teller, ""how much would that be for?"" ""One million dollars."" replies the frog. ""Don't worry, it's ok, I know the manager."" The teller is understandably taken aback by this, and asks if the frog has any collateral to cover this. ""As a matter of fact, I do!"" says the frog, and he reaches into his pocket and hands ove…

Jim McGuinn and David Crosby found dead in apparent Double Homicide, one Keith Richards suspected. It seems two Byrds were killed by one Stone.

A dog walks into a bank and asks for a loan... The teller says ""What collateral are you offering?"" The dog leans across the the counter, looks at his name tag and says ""Here's the thing Mr. Wakk, can I call you Patrick? I'm actually Keith Richard's son. So you know I'm good for it."" The teller says ""I'm sorry Mr. Dog we're still going to have to ask for collateral."" The dog hands him a ceramic elephant. Confused the teller goes to his manager and tells him the story. He says ""I don't know…

Bank Loan A young girl, named Patricia Wack, starts a new job as a loan officer at the bank. A frog walks in an asks her for a loan, she looks at him for a moment amazed that a frog could talk but proceeds professionally. He needs five hundrded dollars for a new business venture and is willing to offer her a candle stick as collateral. She is of course surprised by this strange offer of collateral and tells the frog that she's not sure she can approve the loan. The frog gets upset and demands to…

Top 10 Signs You Are Too Old to Be Trick or Treating: 10. You get winded from knocking on the door. 9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you. 8. You have to ask for high fiber candy only. 7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over. 6. People say, ""Great Keith Richards mask!"" and you're not wearing a mask. 5. When the door opens you yell, ""Trick or..."" and can't remember the rest. 4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restrain…

A frog walks into a bank A frog walks into a bank, and approaches the teller. He sees the tellers name tag read Paddy Black and says "I'd like to take out a loan, Mrs. Black" "Certainly," says the teller, "how much would that be for?" "One million dollars." replies the frog. "Don't worry, it's ok, I know the manager." The teller is understandably taken aback by this, and asks if the frog has any collateral to cover this. "As a matter of fact, I do!" says the frog, and he reaches into his …

Fidel Castro is dead Looks like Keith Richards and the Queen of England are moving on to the finals.

Why do Marlboro cigarettes have white filters in America, but yellow filters in Europe? So Keith Richards can tell which continent he's in.

Did you hear about the eighty-three-year-old woman who talked herself out of a speeding ticket by telling the police officer that she had to get there before she forgot where she was going? Signs That You're Too Old to Trick or Treat You get winded from knocking on the door. When the door opens, you shout: "Trick or . . ." and can't remember the rest. People say, "Great Keith Richards mask!" But you're not wearing a mask. You ask for high-fibre candy only. You avoid going to houses where your ex…