Did you hear about the eighty-three-year-old woman who talked herself out of a speeding ticket by telling the police officer that she had to get there before she forgot where she was going? Signs That You're Too Old to Trick or Treat You get winded from knocking on the door. When the door opens, you shout: "Trick or . . ." and can't remember the rest. People say, "Great Keith Richards mask!" But you're not wearing a mask. You ask for high-fibre candy only. You avoid going to houses where your ex-wives live. You can strike terror into houseowners just by taking out your teeth. You have to have a kid chew the candy for you. You have to choose a costume that won't dislodge your hairpiece. You're the only Power Ranger in the neighbourhood with a walker. By the end of the night you have a bag full of restraining orders.