#airplane

The BBC interviews a former pilot of the Dutch Free Air Forces from WWII . . . . . . So the Dutch guy starts telling a story: ""As we're flying over France, all of a sudden, 6 Fokkers come out of nowhere. I engage on a Fokker, and shoot him down. Then I line up behind another Fokker and shoot him down too. The other guys in my squadron shoot down the other four Fokkers."" BBC Interviewer: "" I believe my guest is referring to the Focke-Wulf Fw 190 aeroplane."" Dutch guy: ""No. These Fokker's wer…

""Fifty dollars is Fifty dollars!"" Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, 'Esther, I'd really like to ride in that helicopter.' Esther always replied, 'I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars' One year Esther and Morris went to the fair, and Morris said, 'Esther, I'm 85 years old. If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance.' To this, Esther replied, 'Morris that he…

What do you call a black man flying a plane A pilot

A man on an airplane was having a heart attack The stewardess asked if anyone on board was a doctor. A man replies, ""I'm a vegan!""

What do you call a Muslim who is also a pilot? Greg if you're a friend, Gregory if you were introduced, Mr. Abdalla if you're doing business with one another.

Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, and Al Gore were in an airplane that crashed... Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, and Al Gore were in an airplane that crashed. They're up in heaven, and God's sitting on the great white throne. God addresses Al first. ""Al, what do you believe in?"" Al replies, ""Well, I believe that the combustion engine is evil and that we need to save the world from CFCs and that, if any more freon is used, the whole earth will become a greenhouse and we'll all die."" God thinks f…

A British , a German, a Japanese and a Chinese man were in an airplane. The plane that was carrying an important U.N. mission was losing altitude, so the pilot said that three of them must jump out and without a parachute since they have dumped everything else. The British man decided to go first. He yelled "" Long live Great Britain!"" And then jumped off. The German man, however unwillingly, decided to sacrifice himself for the team. He yelled "" Long live Germany!"" And then jumped off. Immed…

What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.. you racist bastard!

If two wrongs don't make a right, what do two rights make? The first airplane.

Plane Crash A plane full of people is dropping below altitude, the pilot shouts over the tanoy ""were losing speed rapidly we've dropped all the luggage but its not working, were at 100 feet and need volunteers to jump out into the sea below"" Nobody puts their hands up so he says ""we'll do this as fairly as possible, starting with A - Any asians on board?"" no one puts their hand up, ""any blacks on board?"" still no hands, ""any chinese?"" nothing.. Then one lad at the back whispers to his da…

There were 3 men on an airplane. [slightly racist] One was black, one was white, and one was asian. It was a very old airplane and it started to malfunction. The pilot told everyone on board to throw something away so the airplane can lose weight. The black man threw away 2 packs of cigarettes and the white man asked ""why'd you do that?"". The black man replies ""we have too many of these in our country."" The asian man throws away a pack of instant noodles and the black man asked ""why'd you d…

My friend's teacher everyone : Help me please! There's a little plane on my phone and I can't call! Should I call the pilot for him to delete it?

How do you call black man that is flying a plane? a pilot, you racist

I've git nothing against blonds. My girlfriend us blond. I heard this joke from my friend, and it's not that bad. There were 25 blonds, and 5 brunettes on a plane. After they got up higher, the pilot got on the loud speaker, and said that they needed to drop the floor, because they were going down. He told everyone to grab onto the handle bars above. When everyone did, the pilot dropped the floor. After a few minutes, he said that they were still going down, and needed some people to drop themse…

No frills Airline You'll Know It's a No-Frills Airline If: They don't sell tickets, they sell chances. All the insurance machines in the terminal are sold out. Before the flight, the passengers get together and elect a pilot. If you kiss the wing for luck before boarding, it kisses you back. You cannot board the plane unless you have the exact change. Before you took off, the stewardess tells you to fasten your Velcro. The Captain asks all the passengers to chip in a little for gas. When they pu…

International airline acronyms Italy ALITALIA = Always Late In The Air, Late In Arrival ALITALIA = Arrived Late In Turin, And Luggage In Australia Britain BOAC = Better on a camel Belgium SABENA = Such A Bloody Experience Never Again Pakistan PIA = Please, Inform Allah Yugoslavia JAT = Joke About Time Pacific Western Airlines PWA = Pray While Aloft PWA = Please Wait Awhile Airlines Trans World Airlines = Teeney Weeny Airlines.

My friend, Jack, is a pilot I said one day, ""hi,jack"" He.shot me.

Pilot held without bail. Judge concerned about the risk of flight.

A conversation on Air Force One Persident Obama, Oprah, and Michelle were all flying on Air Force One one day. Obama turned to Oprah, chuckled, and said ""You know, I could throw a $1000 bill out of the window right now and make someone very happy."" Oprah shrugged her shoulders and replied, ""I could throw ten $100 bills out of the window and make ten people very happy."" Michelle added, ""Well if that's the case, I could throw one hundred $10 bills out of the window and make one hundred people…

At the airstrip As a test pilot climbed out of the experimental aircraft, having torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives. The rescuer sees the bloodied pilot and asks, ""What happened?"" The pilot replies, ""I don't know, I just got here myself!""

What you don't want to hear over the PA system. 1. Ocean crossing flight: This is your Captain speaking, I just wanted to take this time to remind you that your seat cushions can be used as floatation devices. 2. Hey folks, we're going to play a little game of geography trivia. If you can recognize where we are, tell your flight attendant and receive an extra pack of peanuts. 3. Our loss of altitude allows a unique close up perspective of the local terrain. I assure you that it's all part of our…

What do you call a pregnant air hostess Pilot error

Ground Control I was a Pan Am 552 Flight Engineer waiting for start clearance in Munich, Germany. I was listening to the radio since I was the junior crew member. This was the conversation I overheard (I don't recall call signs any longer): Lufthansa: (In German) ""Ground, what is our start clearance time?"" Ground: (In English) ""If you want an answer you must speak English."" Lufthansa: (In English) ""I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany. Why must I speak English?"" Beautiful En…

Cute plane One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of the active runway while a DC-8 landed. The DC-8 landed, rolled out, turned around, and taxied back past the Cherokee. Some quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the radio and said, ""What a cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?"" The Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with a real zinger: ""I made it out of DC-8 parts. Another landing like yours and I'll have enoug…

I decided to leave work an hour early today You should have seen the look on the co-pilot's face when I grabbed that parachute.