#airplane

2 hunters hire a pilot and fly to the jungle... ...and they hunt alot of things and prepare to go back home. Seeing the huge amount of things that the hunters brought back, the pilot exclaimed, ""the plane will never fly well with that much stuff on!"" The hunters tell the pilot,"" relax, we hunted this much last year!"" Reluctantly, the pilot decides to load the things onto the plane for takeoff. When the plane was around the mountains, the pilot realised that the plane could not ascend, and th…

plane crash A plane was going to crash and the pilot said open the windows and throw out what you don't need. So first the American man opened his bag and starting throwing dollars. When question why are you throwing that he replied ""don't worry we have too much where I come from."" Then a Pakistani man opened his bag and started throwing roti/chappatis when questioned why was he throwing that when they could eat it later he replied"" don't worry we have a lot of from where we come from."" Then…

[Long] An American, Asian and Australian were on a plane... The plane was about to crash and the pilot said, everyone needs to throw something off the plane to make it lighter. The American grabs a flag saying we have plenty of these in our country and throws it off, the Asian grabs some chopsticks and says we have plenty of these in our country and throws them off the plane. The Australian looks around and can't bear to part with anything, then he has an idea. The Australian picks up the Asian …

TIL four Chinese brothers attempted to invent the airplane but failed miserably Apparently two Wongs don't make a Wright

In Hollywood, an actor and his crew shot a pilot They could all be facing at least six months in jail.

Once you throw a paper airplane it's no longer..... Stationary. Credit: u/Breeze_In_ The _ Trees

A man gets into a taxi... and tells the taxi driver, ""To the airport now! I'm late for my flight!"" The driver, now also in a state of worry, asks, ""What time was your flight?"" ""I was supposed to board 30 minutes ago!"" Hearing this, the driver sighs a relief and tells the man, ""There's no way your flight waited for you. I recommend you give up."" The man immediately yells back, ""You don't understand, I'm the god damn pilot!""

An Airplane Carrying Pepsi Crashes... An airplane full of a shipment of Pepsi flying over Africa had a malfunction, and went down. A few weeks later, the Pepsi Company sent a rescue plane. They searched the area and found a tribe of cannibals. They walked up to the Chief of the tribe and asked him if he knew anything about the crash. The Chief said, ""You betcha!"" When asked where the crew was, the Chief replied, ""We ate the crew, and we drank the Pepsi."" The Rescue crew were shocked. One man…

Who should you pray to if you don't want the airplane that you are on to get diverted? Diversion Mary

One engine on a plane is failing... So the pilot comes over the speaker and says 'Unfortunately the plane won't be able to handle all of the passengers without crashing. We will have to start removing passengers from the plane giving them parachutes and pushing them out until we reach our ideal flying weight. We will choose people alphabetically by their ethnicity. We'll start with Africans!' A small dark skinned boy pulls on his dad's sleeve and says 'Isn't that us?' and the dad replied ''shhh …

Two wrongs don't make a right, but do you know what two Wrights make? An airplane.

A Respectable Lady Jenny was explaining to her husband how much fun they'd had at the beach during her bridge club annual outing. ""But,"" she told him, ""it didn't end all that great for me."" ""Why, what happened?"" he asked. ""I went out to take a swim in the rough water but I didn't go out far because the waves were very bad. Then I suddenly noticed that all the turbulence had caused the lower half of my bathing suit to be snatched off. I looked and looked for it but it was gone, gone, gone!…

So I was on an airplane and a hot flight attendant walks by... and I felt nauseous, so I said, ""ma'am, can you please bring me a vomit bag?"" She looks around for a second, and comes back, and says ""I'm sorry, we're all out. But I'll do my best to try and find one for you."" She walks all around the plane, and comes back with a huge garbage bag. And I said, ""I hope you don't mind, but I'd rather not put my face into my condom.""

Did you hear about the Jewish kamikaze pilot? He crashed his plane into his brother's scrap yard.

Seven indicators that you've chosen the wrong airline. 1. Ground crew seen using pennies to check tire wear. 2. Upon closer inspection, trendy desert-pastel paint job turns out to be primer yellow and Bondo pink. 3. Man with oily rag hanging from the back pocket of his dirty overalls turns out to be the pilot. 4. Voice on P.A. system warns you to keep your hands and arms inside the aircraft while it is in motion. 5. Just before takeoff, the flight attendant offers coffee, tea, or Valium. 6. Air …

A Mexican, a Hawaiian and a US Army member are on a plane... When the pilot tells them that they must shed weight or they will not have enough fuel to make it to their destination. Each member of the plane must throw one of their bags from the plane. The Mexican grabs a box full of tacos and tosses it from the plane. A minute later a little girl on the ground starts crying. ""Honey, why are you crying all of a sudden?"" ""I was just standing here and a box of tacos landed on my head."" The Hawai…

Did you hear about that religious airline? Their prophets are soaring

TIL the propeller on a plane is a fan to keep the pilot cool When it stops, you can see the pilot start sweating!

A black guy, a japanese guy, a mexican, and an american are on a plane. The plane starts to take a nose dive and the pilot comes on the loud speaker, ""In order to avoid crashing you all need to throw something out that you have too much of."" The Black man goes first and he throws out a bucket of fried chicken. Then the Japanese man steps up and throws out some sushi. Then, The mexican man throws out a few burritos. Then, finally, the American steps up and throws out the mexican.

What do you call a Mexican fighter pilot? Air Force Juan.

Sleepy pilot What did the tired pilot say to his crew? I think I'm gonna crash

Mission Impossible United State Air Force has a high security, super secret base in Nevada, known simply as ""Area 51?"" One afternoon, a Cessna landed at this ""secret"" base. The aircraft was immediately impounded & the pilot was interrogated. The pilot's story was that - he took off from Vegas, got lost & spotted the Base just as he was about to run out of fuel. The Air Force started a full FBI background check on the pilot & held him overnight during the investigation. By the nex…

What were the Kamikaze Pilot's last words? ""Watch this cause i'll only do it once.""

Please don't joke about 9/11, my uncle was on one of the planes. He was the best pilot in Saudi Arabia.

On board the U.S. Navy carrier USS George Washington... the air wing was busy with training missions. After talking to a pilot, one air-traffic controller accidently left his microphone on and remarked to a nearby buddy, ""That guy sounded just like Elmer Fudd."" The airwaves got strangely quiet as everyone listened, realizing that the pilot had also heard the comment. After about ten seconds, the pilot broke the silence by announcing, ""Be vewy, vewy quiet. We are hunting submawenes.""