#adam

Little April was not the best student in Sunday school Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?" When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep. A while later the teacher asked April, "Wh…

Baseball in Heaven Two kids, Adam and John, absolutely love playing baseball. They play every day of their lives until years down the road Adam and John are now two old men who sit in the park feeding the birds and watching kids play baseball. One week later John passes away. Adam is sitting at the park alone when he hears Johns voice. John -- Psst, Adam, its John. Adam -- John buddy I miss ya! Hows heaven? John -- Its great! But there is good news and bad news. What do you want to hear firs…

The Story of how God gave Adam a woman (Eve) Adam was hanging around the garden of Eden feeling very lonely. So, God asked him, "What's wrong with you?" Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to. God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman. He said, "This beautiful women will gather food for you, she will cook for you, and when you discover clothing, she will wash it for you. She will always agree with every decision you make and she will not nag you, and …

An American, a Briton, and a North Korean look at a picture of Adam and Eve An American, a Briton, and a North Korean look at a picture of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden and try to figure out what nationality they are. The American says, "Look at how free and independent they are, they must be Americans." The Briton says, "What are you talking about, look at how calm and reserved they are, the are obviously British." The North Korean says, "You two are both missing the point. They have …

NSFW You're in..... Three Nuns at Pearly Gates. So three nuns simultaneously die and go to the gates of St. Peter. Whilst there, St. Peter approaches the nuns and says: "I'm sorry girls, but heaven's getting pretty full now. There's this new policy that I have to ask you guys a religious-trivia question before i can let you in". The nuns agree. So St. Peter approaches the first: "What was the name of the first Man?" The 1st nun rep…

Little Jenny isn't a very good student She gives an especially poor performance at religion classes. One day, the teacher asks Little Jenny a question. 'So Jenny, could you tell me who created the world?' Little Jenny is thinking hard, but she doesn't really now the answer. Suddenly, Little Johnny who's sitting behind her stabs her with a needle. 'Dear God!' screams Little Jenny. 'Wonderful!' says the teacher, obviously satisfied with the answer. A little while later, the teacher asks anot…

A child asked his father.. A child asks his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."

Little April was not the best student in..... Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?" When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep. A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our…

The Story of Mike Doe! Hey, my name’s Mike Doe, and this is my story. I had a friend in college, my freshman roommate, who was always talking about his family. His name was Robert Gooding, and he must’ve had a family tree that started from Adam and Eve. Every single day he would drone on and on about some cousin or uncle or some such. He would always burst into the room saying things like, “Hey Mike! You’ll never guess Uncle Nate and Aunt Ridley are doing in Taiwan for the orphans this week!” I…

Did you know adam and eve owned a computer? It was an apple but it was so bad that just 1 byte and everything would crash

Little Suzy wasn’t a very good student. She never paid attention in Sunday School and always fell asleep at her desk. One Sunday, the nun was at the front, teaching the class, and in an attempt to engage Suzy, who was visibly nodding off, asked her, “Suzy, who created the Heavens and the Earth?” Little Johnny, who was sitting directly behind her, decided to wake her up by surreptitiously taking his long pencil and sticking it in her bottom, causing Suzy to jump right up and yell “God Almighty…

Adam, a fresh Navy recruit, was eager on his first day aboard the submarine. He reported to the officer, who sized him up and gave his first order. "Adam, I need you to stand by the periscope entry and make sure no unauthorized personnel touch it. Understand?" "Yes, sir!" Adam responded and stood at his post. Fifteen minutes later, the officer returned. "Adam, I’m reassigning you. Head to the mess hall and start washing dishes." Without hesitation, Adam complied, scrubbing away at the sink. …

3 nuns 3 nuns die and go to heaven. St Peter meets them and the pearly gates of heaven. He says to the nuns “hello ladies, I know you have lived your lives with a complete devotion to god, but it’s mandatory that I ask you each a question before you can enter”. The nuns all look at each other and then in agreement, they nod their approval. St Peter asks the first nun “Who was the first man ?” “Adam” she replied. Lightning flashes, angels with great golden horns sound, the colors of hea…

God: "Adam, I'll let you name the birds." Adam: "Tit" God: "Uhh ok" Adam: "Boobie" God: "Stop naming them after breasts" Adam: *Looks at rooster*

Why did God create Adam before Eve. He didn't want any advice.

Adam & Eve were the first people... …who didn't understand the Apple terms and conditions.

Adam and Eve were chilling in the garden of Eden... Suddenly, Adam says: "You know what doesn't exist?" "I don't know", replied Eve. "YOUR MOM!"

A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."

Adam goes up do God to ask him a question "God, why did you make Eve so beautiful?" "So that you could love her, my child" came the simple reply. Adam is happy with the answer, and asks another question: "But why did you make her so dumb?" "So that she could love you."

GOD said, Adam, I want you to do something for me. Gladly, Lord, replied Adam. What do you want me to do? Go down into the valley. Whats a valley? asked Adam. God explained to him, then said, Cross the river. Whats a river? God explained it to him, and then continued, Go over the hill. Whats a hill? God explained to Adam what a hill was, then said, On the other side of the hill, you will find a cave. Whats a cave? After God explained, he said, In the cave you will find a woman. Adam asked, What…

There were two white christian men, Adam and Jack, whose plane crashed into a desert. Luckily they survived unharmed. As they traveled through the hot desert looking for food and water, they gave up and sat down, thinking of what to do. As the dust in the air settled, they suddenly could view a mosque ahead. They became very hopeful. But then Adam said ''Muslims are there. They might help us if we say we are muslim.'' Then Jack said ''No way, I won't say I'm muslim, I'm gonna be honest''. S…

Adam and Eve had the perfect marriage... ...he didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married and she didn't have to hear about the food his mom made.

Why do Adam and Eve use Android? Because Eve violated the apple terms and conditions.

Adam spoke to God in the Garden of Eden "I am lonely" said Adam. "I need someone around for company." "Very well," said God. "I will create a companion for you. One who will obey your every word, do all your chores along with cooking and cleaning for you." "Wonderful!" said Adam. "What will it take?" "For you, it will cost an arm and a leg" said God. "That seems pretty steep" said Adam. "What could I get for just a rib?"

Adam One day, God summoned Adam for an important task he must complete... God Said, "Adam, I want you to do something for me." Adam said, "Gladly Lord, what do you want me to do?" God said, "Go down into that valley." Adam said, "What's a valley?" God explained it to him... Then God said, "Cross the river." Adam said, "What's a river?" God explained that to him... Then God said, "Go over to the hill." Adam said, "What's a hill?" So, God explained to Adam what …