#politics

If the election were held today, a lot of people would be like, "I thought the election was on November 6th."

People are all like "STAY OUTTA MY LIFE GOVERNMENT" and then they shut down and people are all like "COME BACK IN MY LIFE GOVERNMENT"

They don't seem to abduct humans like they used to; looks like we are not the only planet with government science-funding budget cuts. Sad.

BREAKING: Republicans may oppose President Obama's decision to skip breakfast.

I think we should elect Bernie. When Isis hears a Jew is president they will all have heart attacks and die.

I think the government just un-friended us.

You never see baby pigeons because pigeons are cloned by the government. Next question.

Who says Republicans aren't into recycling? Mitt Romney's thinking of running for President, again.

"I'd make an awesome president. Give me a problem, any problem." "Um, population control?" "Kill all the storks. BOOM!"

If George W. Bush was the president of France today, he would declare war on Finland.

Read a magazine at the doctor's office so I'm all caught up on Clinton running for president. I don't think Bush can beat him.

TRICKLE DOWN ECONOMICS EXPLAINED: 1) Rich people make money 2) It "trickles down" to offshore banks 3) Government closes libraries/hospitals

I'm starting to think that the Facebook status update I liked has had absolutely no influence on Government policy at all ...

Even if you disagree with his politics you have to admit that for a second term president he doesn't even look pregnant.

I bet all this shit started because someone told Trump he couldn't be president and Trump said "hold my beer, watch this"

I love that we're a nation of diversity: a black president, a white vice president, and an orange speaker of the house. #SOTU

If Donald Trump becomes President, The rest of us should be able to just walk into any hospital & start working as doctors

This day in history. 1961. In Spain the fascist government of Generalissimo Francisco Franco declared equal rights for women and men. None.

no matter what the government says no one can stop you from eating the bugs you find in your garden

I've seen: UFOs Ghosts A Two Headed Turtle Kimodo Dragons But nothing is as unbelievable to me as seeing Trump run for president.

My friend is so stupid she thought Alabama is a city. Don't worry, I informed her Alabama is the president.

I'll complain about the government invading my privacy after I tell you where I am on Facebook and posting what I'm eating on Instagram.

The year is 2543. Beyblades are a form of currency. Everyone speaks in emoji. President Woof outlaws all cats. Madonna releases a new single

The Engineer Towards the end of the French revolution many people lost their heads to the guillotine. One day a politician, a priest, and an engineer were to be executed. The politician was first. The executioner asked him: ""Do you have any last words?"" to which the man replied, ""I regret nothing."" The executioner lowered the man's head into the guillotine and released the blade. It fell swiftly but suddenly jams and stopped just inches from reaching the politician's neck. There was a rule w…

Cave Excavation A team of American and British archaeologists was excavating in Israel when they came upon a cave. Written on the wall of the cave were the following symbols in their order of appearance: 1. a woman 2. a donkey 3. a shovel 4. a fish 5. a Star of David They decided that this was a unique find and the writings were at least more than three thousand years old. They chopped out the piece of stone and had it brought to the museum where archeologists from all over the world came to stu…