#osama-bin-laden

Osama=Crabs What do Osama Bin Laden and crabs have in common? They both irritate Bush.

Osama Bin Laden's afterlife... After he was killed by Seal Team Six, Osama Bin Laden immediately found himself in a large room filled with fat middle aged men wearing strange costumes. As he looked around he saw a gigantic sign that said ""Welcome fellow Trekies."" Confused by his surroundings, Osama wanted to get out of the room, only to face Muhhammed himself, blocking the door. ""This is not the paradise I was promised in the Quoran."" ""Yes it is...where did you expect I'd find you 72 virgin…

What do Osama Bin Laden and a salmon have in common? It's a great life until they run into a seal.

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George Bush goes to a primary [elementary] school to talk about the war. After his talk, he opens the floor to questions. One little boy puts up his hand and George asks him what his name is. ""Billy, he says."" ""And what is your question, Billy?"" I have 3 questions. First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN? Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes? And third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden?"" Just then the bell rings for recess. George Bush infor…

These are the only ten times in history the ""F"" word has been acceptable for use... 10. ""What the @#$% was that?"" -Mayor Of Hiroshima, 1945 9. ""Where did all those @#$%ing Indians come from?"" -Custer, 1877 8. ""Any @#$%ing idiot could understand that."" -Einstein, 1938 7. ""It does so @#$%ing look like her!"" -Picasso, 1926 6. ""How the @#$% did you work that out?"" -Pythagoras, 126 BC 5. ""You want WHAT on the @#$%ing ceiling?"" -Michelangelo,1566 4. ""Where the @#$% are we?"" -Amelia Ear…

American Holiday Osama bin Laden, not feeling well and concerned about his mortality, goes to consult a psychic about the date of his death. Closing her eyes and silently reaching into the realm of the future, she finds the answer. ""You will die on an American holiday."" ""Which one?"" Osama bin Laden asks nervously. ""It doesn't matter,"" replied the psychic. ""Whenever you die, it will be an American holiday!""

Osama bin Laden threatened Russia: If you get caught up in this war... I'll hide from you too!

George W. Bush and Osama bin Laden are having a conversation via Al Jazeera television. Bin Laden tells George Bush ""There is no point of engaging in further war. I can see total peace in the future!"" George Bush replies ""Oh yeah and tell me what you see?"" Osama answers ""I can see New York with new great buildings on one side and beautiful new buildings on the other side and everything is peaceful and wonderful."" George Bush says ""Wow is that what you see? Well I'll tell ya what I see …

Q. What do Fred Flintstone and Osama Bin Laden have in common? A. They both look out their caves and see rubble.

Q: What's Osama Bin Laden going to be for Halloween? A: Dead.

Two 9/11 Truthers are flying to a Truther convention when their plane goes down... (x-post from /r/conspiratard) An instant later they find themselves in the afterlife, being judged by Almighty God Himself. One falls to his knees, "I implore you, O all-powerful Creator of the universe! Before you judge my soul, I beg you humbly, reveal to me who was actually behind the September 11 attacks!" God sighs. "Muslim extremists. Al-Qaeda and Osama bin Laden did it." His friend leans down and whispe…

Osama Bin Laden sends George W. Bush a coded message Osama Bin Laden sends George W. Bush a coded message to let him know he is still alive:- "370H SSV 0773H." Bush is baffled. Condi Rice and her aides and even the FBI and CIA can't decipher it. So they ask Britain's MI6 for help. Within a minute MI6 replies:- "Er, tell the President he's holding the message upside down."

Two conspiracy theorists are flying on a plane to a convention when it crashes. They find themselves before God and tell him "We are but humble men, and for all our life we have sought the truth. You are all-knowing, so you know all the answers." "What is your question?" "We would really like to know who was really behind the 9/11". "Osama bin Laden and the Al Qaeda as a part of a plot to destabilize the United States." "Holy shit, dude." whispers one of them to another. "This goes even dee…

The Aussie Farmer, Osama Bin Laden And A Biker Three men - a Farmer, Osama bin Laden and a Biker are all walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. 'I will give each of you one wish, which is three wishes in total', says the Genie. The Farmer says, 'I am a farmer and my son will also farm. I want my land to be forever fertile' POOF! With the blink of the Genie's eye, the land was forever fertile for farming. Osama was amazed, so he said, 'I want a wall…

Two 9/11 conspiracy theorists are in a plane when it crashes An instant later they find themselves in the afterlife, being judged by Almighty God Himself. One falls to his knees, "I deplore you, all-powerful Creator of the universe! Before you judge me, I humbly beg you, reveal who was behind the September 11 attacks!" God sighs. "Muslim extremists. Al-Qaeda and Osama bin Laden did it." His friend leans down and whispers, "Damn, dude. This thing goes way higher up than we ever realized." E:…

Why did Osama Bin Laden kill his wife? When she spread her legs he saw bush.

What do you get when you cross Hitler with Osama bin laden? Nein 11

It's nearly 6 years since US Navy SEALs took out Osama Bin Laden in Pakistan. Talk Abbottabad place to hide.

Osama Bin Laden Josef Stalin and Hitler are robbing a bank

The Aussie Farmer Osama Bin Laden And A Biker

What does Osama bin Laden and my wife's clitoris have in common? Took me 10 years to find it

Osama Bin Laden sends George W. Bush a coded message Osama Bin Laden sends George W. Bush a coded message to let him know he is still alive:-

What does Osama bin Laden and my wife's clitoris have in common?,"Took me 10 years to find it but when I did; killed it!

Did you hear they came out with a drink called the Osama Bin Laden? It's two shots and a splash of water.