#al-qaeda

Between hating pork and launching themselves into enemy structures, Al Qaeda were the original Angry Birds.

I bet the Al Qaeda recruiting video is just footage of Americans waiting in line for cupcakes.

The U.S. Army developed a pizza that stays good for 3 years. Finally, those billions in military spending paid off. Your move, Al Qaeda.

Hey girl is your dad a terrorist cause...oh your dad works for Al-Qaeda? No, wait this is a pickup line. I'm sorry please don't cry.

Even Al Qaeda is like "These ISIS guys are a bit much no?"

"My dad could blow up your dad!" - braggy al-Qaeda kid

"Al-Qaeda: 'ISIS Goes Too Far'." Ah the Middle East, where al-Qaeda is the voice of moderation.

My cat's name is Isis, so you can imagine my horror when I turned on the news and saw "Isis believed to be allied with Al-Qaeda"

Virgins in Paradise? Suck my balls, Al Qaeda; I got a jacuzzi full of sluts right here in Southern California.

Was really suicidal, so I called the suicide hotline. They patched me through to Al-Qaeda.

What makes the Japanese better than Al Qaeda? At least the Japanese were considerate enough to bring their own planes

A conspiracy theorist dies and goes to heaven... When he arrives at the Pearly Gates, God is there to receive him. ""Welcome. You are permitted to ask me one question, which I will answer truthfully."" Without hesitating, the conspiracy theorist asks, ""Did Bush do 9/11?"" God replies, ""Bush did not plan the attacks. 9/11 was perpetrated by Al-Qaeda and orchestrated by Osama Bin Laden. No bombs were planted in the Twin Towers, and no missiles hit the Pentagon. The U.S. government had no forekno…

69 years ago both India and Pakistan got independence on this day. Indians have become heads of Google, Microsoft, Pepsico, Jaguar, Land Rover and Pakistanis have become heads of Taliban, Al-Qaeda, Jammat U Dawa, Hijbul Mujahideen Also India entered Mars but Pakistan still trying to enter India.

So on my birthday... so my birthday is on September 11th, and as I was blowing out the candles to make a wish...the twin towers were struck by Al Qaeda. This was upsetting news for everyone. I still blow out candles on my birthday but now I am just...careful what I wish for.

Job interview with Al-Qaeda Had a job interview with Al-Qaeda today. ""Where do you see yourself exploding in five years? "", they asked.

What drink do you give an al Qaeda terrorist to piss him off? French Press Coffee ^^^[source](http://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinteresting/comments/2rn2no/my_dad_found_disposable_french_press_coffee_at/cnhs0t1)

No one told him Syria borders Iraq Why did Obama provide weapons to Al-Qaeda in Syria

President George W. Bush is sitting in his office... ...When one of his informants walks in to report, ""Mr. President, yesterday three Brazilian soldiers were killed by Al Qaeda."" Bush is silent for a moment as he holds his head in his hands in immense sadness. ""Sir, what's wrong?"" asks the informant. Bush brings his head up to look at the man and asks, ""How many is a Brazilian, exactly?""

If you can't afford healthcare... Go to an airport. They give free x-rays and mammograms, and if you mention al-Qaeda, they'll throw in a free colonoscopy too!

I heard that Al Qaeda recently received substantial financial aid from an unknown person in South Korea. It seems the terrorists have Won.

3 spies, a french one, a british one, and an italian one, are captured by al-qaeda... the terrorists tie each of them up and put the brit and the italian in a locked room. they take the frenchman to a room for 6 hours, torturing information out of him. when they finish with him, they take the brit to the room, who lasts 12 hours. they finally take the italian into the room, but as much as they torture him, they cant get any information out of him. the brit and the frenchman ask him how it goes…

Two 9/11 Truthers are flying to a Truther convention when their plane goes down... (x-post from /r/conspiratard) An instant later they find themselves in the afterlife, being judged by Almighty God Himself. One falls to his knees, "I implore you, O all-powerful Creator of the universe! Before you judge my soul, I beg you humbly, reveal to me who was actually behind the September 11 attacks!" God sighs. "Muslim extremists. Al-Qaeda and Osama bin Laden did it." His friend leans down and whispe…

What's the difference between a Pakistani elementary school and an Al Qaeda training camp? Don't ask me, I just fly the drone.

Two conspiracy theorists are flying on a plane to a convention when it crashes. They find themselves before God and tell him "We are but humble men, and for all our life we have sought the truth. You are all-knowing, so you know all the answers." "What is your question?" "We would really like to know who was really behind the 9/11". "Osama bin Laden and the Al Qaeda as a part of a plot to destabilize the United States." "Holy shit, dude." whispers one of them to another. "This goes even dee…

Two 9/11 conspiracy theorists are in a plane when it crashes An instant later they find themselves in the afterlife, being judged by Almighty God Himself. One falls to his knees, "I deplore you, all-powerful Creator of the universe! Before you judge me, I humbly beg you, reveal who was behind the September 11 attacks!" God sighs. "Muslim extremists. Al-Qaeda and Osama bin Laden did it." His friend leans down and whispers, "Damn, dude. This thing goes way higher up than we ever realized." E:…