#oregon

*Ohio State coach* Boys, I know how we're gonna beat the Oregon Ducks "How coach" With our secret weapon *pulls out a loaf of bread*

A middle school in Oregon According to a radio report, a middle school in Oregon was faced with a unique problem. A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirrors leaving dozens of little lip prints. Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the custodian. She explained that all thes…

A Small Man Goes to Oregon to become a Lumberjack The Small Man walks up to the Foreman and says, ""I want a Job as a Lumberjack"" The Foreman says, ""How big are you?"" Small Man ""Five Foot-Four Inches and 90 pounds"" Foreman ""No chance; you are far too small to be a Lumberjack on my Crew"" Small man replies ""But I'm the best Lumberjack in the World"" Foreman ""How do you figure?"" Small Man ""I have years of experience working in the Saharan Forest"" Foreman laughs ""You idiot, the Sahara i…

The Oregon Problem The latest opinion-type poll Says Oregon's out of control Football - U of O Marijuana - you know Both of them got ""smoked in a bowl""

Good thing there isn't a standoff between the Oregon militants and the government. Fox News would probably have a stroke trying to figure out which it supports more: Use of military force against citizens or anti-government white men with rifles.

What do the Oregon shooter and someone who had an abortion have in common? They both killed a wombful of people. ----- Courtesy of http://www.reddit.com/r/TrollXChromosomes/comments/3ndfzu/warning_very_political_sarcasm/cvnecky

Oregon have legalised marijuana and are creating a new strand It's called Oregon-o... ^^^I'm^^^Sorry.

A Californian, an Oregonian and a Washingtonian all head out on a fishing trip... It's a beautiful day in the Cascades of Oregon and all three men are enjoying themselves - although a fervent discussion about which state is the superior state has sprung up, initiated by the Californian who won't shut up about, well, everything that California is better at. At noon, they stop by a stream to break for lunch. The Californian reaches into his knapsack and pulls forth a bottle of wine. ""Best wine in…

Did you hear about the blood drive organizer from Portland who died in a car crash? He was an Oregon donor.

Upon hearing that my donor is in Eugene, I proceeded to inform my wife that, ""My heart is in Oregon."" She replied, ""I know what a heart is!""

Topical Jokes for 9/5/14 (for best results, imagine these being read by your favorite late night host) In Oregon, a veterinarian discovered 43 socks in a Great Dane's stomach. The dog was taken to the vet when the owner wanted to find out why his sock drawer was growling. To ward off evil spirits, a woman in India has married a stray dog. The woman's biggest complaint about being married to a dog is everything. A new study has determined that wearing a bra, does not cause breast cancer. The stu…

What Did Delaware? -She wore her New Jersey! Why did California? -She called to ask Hawaii. Where did Chicago? -The same place Oregon Where has Oregon? I don't know but Alaska. She said she went to pay her Texas. What did Missisip? She sipped a Minnesota. What did Tennessee? The same thing Arkansas How did Wisconsin? He robbed an Oklahoma using a Kentucky. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NztfOSyCCFM

When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail, his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather, roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

Oregon leads America in both marital infidelity and clinical depression. What a sad state of affairs.

What Did Delaware? -She wore her New Jersey! Why did California? -She called to ask Hawaii. Where did Chicago? -The same place Oregon Where has Oregon? I don't know but Alaska. She said she went to pay her Texas. What did Missisip? She sipped a Minnesota. What did Tennessee? The same thing Arkansas How did Wisconsin? He robbed an Oklahoma using a Kentucky.

Prior to officially becoming a part of the United States, what was Oregon like? It was very unOregonized.

Why does Oregon Ducks need such big suitcases? Because they Pac-12 of everything

What do you call the armed group in Oregon? Vanilla Isis.

According to a radio report, a middle school in Oregon was faced with a unique problem. A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the restroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick, they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints. Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all of the girls to the restroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were…