Topical Jokes for 9/5/14 (for best results, imagine these being read by your favorite late night host) In Oregon, a veterinarian discovered 43 socks in a Great Dane's stomach. The dog was taken to the vet when the owner wanted to find out why his sock drawer was growling. To ward off evil spirits, a woman in India has married a stray dog. The woman's biggest complaint about being married to a dog is everything. A new study has determined that wearing a bra, does not cause breast cancer. The study did find that going without a bra, causes cancer of the eyes. Eminemn has been entered into the Guinness Book of World Records by having nearly 1,500 words in the song ""Rap God."" And only 700 of those were the f-word. The World Health Organization announced that doctors should use the blood of Ebola survivors to treat other patients. This was in response to the question, ""What's the best way to spread the Ebola virus?"" (Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed 'em)