#portland

Portland is on fire and the nearest Trump voter is 300 miles away. Democrats have a terrible ground game.

American Heaven and Hell In America, Heaven is where: 1. The chefs are from New York 2. The engineers are from Detroit 3. The lovers are from Miami 4. The police are from Portland 5. Everything is organized by San Jose Hell is where: 1. The chefs are from Miami 2. The lovers are from San Jose 3. The engineers are from Portland 4. The police are from New York 5. Everything is organized by Detroit

A driver stopped beside a pedestrian in a tiny remote town... A driver stopped beside a pedestrian in a tiny remote town. Lost and in a hurry, the driver had no desire to engage in conversation with the locals, he only wanted quick directions. ""Hey, old man,"" he snapped. ""Can you tell me how to get to Portland?"" ""Yep,"" the man replied, before crossing the street and disappearing inside a shop door.

Bernie Sanders Draws 28,000 in Portland Rally I never would have guessed he was such a talented and quick artist.

I was walking through a mall near Portland and I saw that there was a ""Muslim"" book Store. I was wondering what exactly was in a Muslim bookstore so I went in. As I was wandering around taking a look, the clerk stopped me and asked if he could help me. I imagine I didn't look like his normal clientele, so I asked, ""Do you have a copy of Donald Trump's book on his U.S. Immigration Policy regarding Muslims and illegal Mexicans?"" The clerk said, ""F--- off, get out and stay out!"" I said, ""Yes…

Did you hear about the blood drive organizer from Portland who died in a car crash? He was an Oregon donor.

Topical Jokes for 10/27 (for best results, read in the voice of your favorite late night host) In Portland, they held a competition to see who had the best beard and mustache. The winner was a complete loser. ...first prize in the beard contest was a record of band that broke up before they recorded a song, and an enormous jar filled with apathy. In Toronto, Rob Ford has lost his reelection bid. Ford's opponent won with the slogan, ""I am Not Rob Ford."" ...Rob Ford gave a tear-filled concession…

Man, CNN is so stupid. CNN is so stupid, when they wanted to do a report on Portland counter-culture, they went to a granite shop.

A man is at the airport counter checking in his luggage. The man said to the agent, "I'm flying to Los Angeles but I would like this bag to go to Portland, this one to Albuquerque, and this one to Sioux Falls." The agent looked suitably shocked and said, "Sir, there is no way we can do that." "Why not?", replied the man, "You did it last time".

I matched with a cute girl in Portland before heading out here on business. She spends a lot of time outdoors, loves camping, long walks in the park, since it's Portland loves urban foraging for good food just like I do. Passionate about anti-consumption and recycles everything. Turns out she was homeless.

Where all my mustang drivers at?????,"Last I heard they're all headed to Portland

Where all my mustang drivers at????? Last I heard, they're all headed to Portland