#mick

Paddy had been drinking Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night celebrating Ireland's football victory. Mick, the bartender, says "You'll not be drinking any more tonight, Paddy" Paddy replies "OK Mick, I'll be on me way then." Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his face. "Shoite" he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts himself off. He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face. "Shoite, Shoite!" He loo…

The Irish Millionaire Mick, from Dublin , appeared on 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire' and towards the end of the program had already won 500,000 euros. "You've done very well so far," said Chris Tarrant, the show's presenter, "but for a million euros you've only got one life-line left, phone a friend. Everything is riding on this question. Will you go for it?" "Sure," said Mick. "I'll have a go!" "Which of the following birds does NOT build its own nest? a) Sparrow b) Thrush, c) Magpi…

An Irish Man Wins Big On 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire' Thanks To A Good Friend Mick, from Dublin , appeared on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire and towards the end of the program, he had already won 500,000 euros. "You've done very well so far," said Chris Tarrant, the show's presenter, "but for a million euros you've only got one life-line left, phone a friend. Everything is riding on this question. Will you go for it?" "Sure," said Mick. "I'll have a go!" "Which of the following birds does …

three turtles Three tortoises, Mick, Alan and Les, decide to go on a picnic. So Mick packs the picnic basket with beer and sandwiches. The trouble is the picnic site is ten miles away so it takes them ten days to get there. When they get there Mick unpacks the food and beer. "Ok Les Give me the bottle opener." "I didn't bring it," says Les. "I thought you packed it." Mick gets worried, He turns to Alan, "Did you bring the bottle opener??" Naturally Alan didn't bring it. So they're stuck ten…

Paddy and Danny got in the car for the journey home and said their goodbyes to their friend Mick. "Thanks for putting us up for the weekend," said Paddy. "The food was great, the booze was great, and I really enjoyed screwing your wife!" On the way home, Danny turned to Paddy and said: "I hope you weren't serious about enjoying screwing his wife?" "No," said Paddy, "I can't say that I enjoyed it, but I didn't want to hurt Mick's feelings."

A frog goes into a bank... A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack. "Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a vacation." Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager. Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral. The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny po…

An Irishman walks into a bar and orders three shots... Seamus walks into a bar and asks the bartender for three shots of Bushmills and three pints of Guinness. "Rough day, friend?" the bartender asks as he pours the drinks. "Nah - it's for me brothers. The three of us used to drink together back home in Dublin when we were younger. Now Mick's in London, Paddy's in Australia, and I'm here in New York. We hardly ever see each other these days, but when we left home, we swore we'd drink like th…

Irishman Paddy wanted another drink But Mick the pub owner said "ya had enough, go on home Paddy" I am guessing your right Mick, and with that he spun around on his stool, focused his eyes on the door, got up and proceeded to fall face first on the floor. "Oh, Saints be praised, I must be drunken than me thought. If I can just get to the door and git a bit of fresh air all will be well" So he crawls towards the door, pulls himself up holding onto the jamb, takes a deep breath of night air and t…

Walking on water Paddy had long heard the stories of an amazing family tradition. It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 18th birthday. On that special day, they'd each walked across the lake to the pub on the far side for their first legal drink. So when Paddy's, 18th birthday came around, he and his pal Mick, took a boat out to the middle of the lake, Paddy, stepped out of the boat ... and nearly drowned! Mick just barely …

The Irish Millionaire Mick, from Dublin , appeared on 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire' and towards the end of the program had already won 500,000 euros. "You've done very well so far," said Chris Tarrant, the show's presenter, "but for a million euros you've only got one life-line left, phone a friend. Everything is riding on this question. Will you go for it?" "Sure," said Mick. "I'll have a go!" "Which of the following birds does NOT build its own nest? a) Sparrow b) Thrush, c) Magpie, …

Mick and Paddy are taking a stroll when they come across a sign. Stapled to a telegraph pole it says, "Tree fellers wanted." Paddy snaps his fingers in frustration and says "What a shame! There's only the two of us!"

The guys were on a bike tour. ... No one wanted to room with Mick, because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns. The first guy slept with Mick and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot. They said, "Man, what happened to you? He said, "Mick snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night." The next night it was a different guy's turn. In the …

Paddy was coming back from his holiday in America. As he came through Customs, he had two sacks over his shoulder. The Customs officer asked him what he had in the sacks? Paddy replied Mobile phones. The customs officer didn't believe him and asked to be shown. Paddy opened each sack and sure enough both sacks contained quite a few phones. "What are you going to do with all these mobile phones asked the officer? "Oh, they are not for me. My mate Mick, who is in a band, knew I was going over t…

I’m ready for a holiday. Paddy says to Mick, “I’m ready for a holiday, only this year I'm going to do it a bit different. 3 years ago I went to Spain and Mary got pregnant. 2 years ago I went to Italy and Mary got pregnant, last year I went to Majorca and Mary got pregnant." Mick asks, "So what are you going to do this year?" Paddy replies, "I'll bloody take her with me!"

Paddy and Mick are heading down to the pub... ...when they see a sign in a shop window > TREE FELLERS WANTED > Great Pay > Flexible Hours > No Experience Necessary Paddy turns to Mick and says "What do you reckon?" Mick replies "It's a shame there's only two of us"

Two Irish hunters from Belfast hired a pilot to fly them to Canada to hunt moose. They bagged six. As they started loading the plane for the return trip home, the pilot tells them the plane can take only three moose. The two Irishmen objected strongly, stating, "Last year we shot six moose and the pilot let us put them all on board and he had the same plane as yours." Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six were loaded. Unfortunately, even on full power, the little plane couldn't handl…

There's this frog and he ... goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack. "Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a vacation." Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager. Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral. The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porc…

Loud Mick SLEEPING WITH MICK The guys were on a bike tour. No one wanted to room with Mick, because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns. The first guy slept with Mick and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot. They said, "Man, what happened to you? He said, "Mick snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night." The next night it was a different…

Patty and Mick are working on a construction site Patty says to Mick. “I want the day off, so I’m going to act like a mad person and hope the manager lets me off” Patty then proceeds to jump up onto the scaffolding and shouts over and over. “I’m a lightbulb! I’m a lightbulb! I’m a lightbulb” He’s swinging around like a monkey on a tree and continuing to shout “I’m a lightbulb! I’m a lightbulb! I’m a lightbulb!” Suddenly the site manager walks over and says. “Patty get down from there and pac…

Two Irish farmers are walking down a road towards the pub, after a long days work, when they hear a motorcycle behind them. They are totally shocked to find that when the bike passes them, the biker is headless. The two men look at each other and shrug. They continue down the road because the call of the pub is getting stronger. As they go, a cyclist comes up behind them and, on passing them, he too is seen to be headless. The two old men shake their heads and continue to walk down the ro…

Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night celebrating St Patrick's Day. Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night celebrating St Patrick's Day. Mick

Who Wants to be a Millionaire! Mick

Paddy and Mick see a sign Walking down the road in Ireland

Irishman Paddy wanted another drink But Mick the pub owner said ""ya had enough

Paddy and Danny got in the car for the journey home and said their goodbyes to their friend Mick.