Martha, Lily and Maggie were having tea and the conversation went to comparing their own son's achievements..... Martha : Well, my son is currently the top lawyer in the UK that was knighted by the Queen herself and whenever anyone sees him will say ""Oh there goes Sir Stewart!"" Lily : Not bad, but my son has been made the Baron of Yorkiebar and anyone who sees him will say ""Oh there goes Lord Allen!"" Maggie : Very impressive ladies but my son is 10 metres tall and 20 metres wide and anyone w

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Confessional booth Less common than we'd like to see in Northern Ireland: two young men, friends - one a Protestant, the other a Catholic, wander about the streets of a country village where they've decided to take the weekend off. And, fair to say, it's a bit boring. more than a bit boring, as they walk about the town. As they pass before a Catholic church, one friend tells the other: wait here a minute, I need to confess my sins. He walks into the church, steps into the confessional, and tells

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An Irish Catholic priest goes on a pilgrimage In a small village in Ireland, the priest from the local church was called upon to make a pilgrimage to the Vatican. As he was saying goodbye to his constituents, he was greeted by Patty and Maggie, the town's newest young couple. ""Please father,"" said Maggie, ""we've been having a bit of trouble having some children lately. We were wondering if, when you go on your pilgrimage, you wouldn't mind lighting a candle for us at St. Peter's Basilica, in

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For Canadians I heard this from a 86 year old lady. She was telling it to her friend Merle who apparently was floating up in the corner of the hospital room we were in. Maggie and Pierre were going out to a costume ball. Maggie came down the stairs wearing only thigh high boots. Pierre asks her what the hell she is supposed to be. She said "" I'm Puss in Boots"". Pierre came out with only a potato on his pecker and Maggie asked what he was going as and he said "" A dictator""

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Irishman Paddy wanted another drink But Mick the pub owner said "ya had enough, go on home Paddy" I am guessing your right Mick, and with that he spun around on his stool, focused his eyes on the door, got up and proceeded to fall face first on the floor. "Oh, Saints be praised, I must be drunken than me thought. If I can just get to the door and git a bit of fresh air all will be well" So he crawls towards the door, pulls himself up holding onto the jamb, takes a deep breath of night air and t

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Regis: "Barbara, you've done very well so far - $500,000 and one lifeline left -- phone a friend. The next question will give you the top prize of One Million dollars if you get it right ... but if you get it wrong you will drop back to $32,000 -- are you ready?" Barbara: "Sure, I'll have a go!" Regis: "Which of the following birds does not build it's own nest? Is it........ A-Robin B-Sparrow C-Cuckoo D-Thrush Remember Barbara its worth 1 Million dollars." "I think I know who it..but I'm not 100

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