Confessional booth Less common than we'd like to see in Northern Ireland: two young men, friends - one a Protestant, the other a Catholic, wander about the streets of a country village where they've decided to take the weekend off. And, fair to say, it's a bit boring. more than a bit boring, as they walk about the town. As they pass before a Catholic church, one friend tells the other: wait here a minute, I need to confess my sins. He walks into the church, steps into the confessional, and tells the priest: ""bless me, Father, for I have sinned: I have committed adultery!"" The Father reassures him that we all stray, we are all welcome back in His Holy Embrace; but to give absolution, the confession must be full. He needs names, and dates. ""Bur Father, I swore on all the Holy Names that I would never tell - and breaking my oath would be a mortal sin, wouldn't it?"" The priest pondered the contradiction, and came up with a solution: ""If I guess who it was, then you wouldn't have broken your vow, now would you?"" to which the young man agreed, no. ""So: was it Julie, the new maths teacher in our elementary school?"" - ""No, Father, it wasn't her."" ""Was it the widow Flaherty, who runs the tourist information bureau?"" - ""No, Father, it wasn't her."" ""Was it Maggie, the barmaid at The Shoving Leopard?"" - ""No, Father, it wasn't her."" ""Well, my son - until you give full contrition, I can't grant you absolution."" He walks out of the church, and joins his Protestant friend... who had been waiting patiently... ""Hah! Early Friday night, cruising time, and you burn a half hour talking with your padres - and what good did that get you?"" And the answer came back with a smirk: ""I have three hot tickets for tonight!""