#micks

Robert Plant, Paul McCartney, and Mick Jagger convene once a year to discuss all the great foods they've found travelling the globe on tour. Robert is the first to excited reveal his 'big find'. He takes out a little pie tray from a brown paper bag and places it on the table. ""It's a pastry of some kind from Tanzania. It's akin to what we call a quiche, but uses yak cheese and quail eggs instead!"" ""Fascinating"" says Paul, who is next to present his favourite foreign food to the group. He pul…

Mick at the Sawmill Seamus and Mick found jobs at a sawmill when they arrived in America. One morning after wetting his whistle, Mick slipped and sliced his arm clean off. Seamus quickly placed Mick's arm in a plastic bag and rushed him to the hospital. The next day, Seamus was shocked to see Mick back on the job. ""It healed up nice and quick!"" beamed Mick. A week later, Mick drank too much again and severed his leg. Seamus ran over, bagged the leg, and rushed Mick to the hospital. Unbelievabl…

Paddy and Danny got in the car for the journey home and said their goodbyes to their friend Mick. "Thanks for putting us up for the weekend," said Paddy. "The food was great, the booze was great, and I really enjoyed screwing your wife!" On the way home, Danny turned to Paddy and said: "I hope you weren't serious about enjoying screwing his wife?" "No," said Paddy, "I can't say that I enjoyed it, but I didn't want to hurt Mick's feelings."

An Irishman walks into a bar and orders three shots... Seamus walks into a bar and asks the bartender for three shots of Bushmills and three pints of Guinness. "Rough day, friend?" the bartender asks as he pours the drinks. "Nah - it's for me brothers. The three of us used to drink together back home in Dublin when we were younger. Now Mick's in London, Paddy's in Australia, and I'm here in New York. We hardly ever see each other these days, but when we left home, we swore we'd drink like th…

Two Irishmen are sitting in a bar. Mick's looking particularly sad and Patrick asks him what the matter is. mick says, "Well, I knew that my grandfather had died in the war, but I've just found out that he actually died in the Auschwitz concentration camp." Patrick says, "That's terrible, did he go to the gas chamber?" and Mick replies, "No, he fell out of the machine gun tower."

Mick's wife was furiously humping away with her husband's best mate, Peter, when suddenly the phone rang. She hopped out of bed and returned to the sweaty sheet after a brief conversation. "Who was it?" the back stabbing buddy asked. "Oh, that was Mick," she replied calmly. "Oh crap, I'd better be going then!" he said. "Did Mick say where he was?" "Relax -- he's down at the pub playing a few games of pool with you."