#empire-state-building

Made a pact w/ my wife that if we're 40 & kids haven't stopped whining, we'll meet at top of the Empire State Building so they can't find us

The US President, French President, and Brazilian President are in an airplane... The French president sticks is arm out of a window in the airplane and says, ""We're flying over France."" The other two presidents ask him how he knows this. He responds with, ""I just touched the Eiffel Tower."" A little while later, the US president sticks his arm out of the window and says, ""We're flying over the United States."" The other two presidents ask him how he knows this. He responds with, ""I just to…

What's the difference between your mom and the Empire State Building? Not everyone's been up the Empire State Building

What do you get when you drop an egg off the Empire State Building? New Yolk

So a young boy in China is asked a question by his teacher... ""Do you know where the Empire State Building in New York is?"" The child answers, ""No I don't."" The teacher grows quite frantic, ""You're gonna have to go to the principals for this. So, as the child is in the office the principal asks him why he is there, ""I was sent by my teachers because I didn't know where the Empire State Building in New York is."" The principal gets scared and says, ""You need to go to court for this."" So, …

A black guy and a Mexican in N.Y.C A black guy and a mexican visit the Empire State building and they start arguing about who would land first if they jumped off. They place their bets and fly off the top. Who wins? Donald Trump

What's Chinese and climbs the Empire State Building? Ping Pong

How did the gangster die below the Empire State Building? Someone dropped a dime on him.

Why did King Kong.... Climb the Empire State Building? ...He couldn't fit in the elevator.

A gay black guy, a Jewish midget and a gypsy jump off the Empire State Building at the same time. Who hits the ground first? Who gives a shit?

A blind man decided to kill himself... Q: When the blind man decided to kill himself by jumping off of the Empire State Building, how did he know when he was just about to hit the ground? A: The dog quit barking.

A businessman decides to go on vacation to NY !!! A businessman decides to go on vacation to NY but he wants to fly cheap. He goes to the airport and buys a ticket from brothers airlines, and halfway to New York the plane blows out an engine. The captain lets them know they can make on three engines then a second engine blows out. Again the captain says they can make it on two engines. Then a third engine blows and the man starts to panic. The captain comes on to say: ""*We are approaching new h…

So there's this guy in a bar On the top floor of the Empire State Building. He says to the guy next to him, ""Did you know there's an updraft between this building and the next one that's so strong that if you jump off this building, it will swoop you back up and you'll land right back here on your feet?"" The guy said, ""No way, you're full of malarkey."" So the first guy says, ""I'll bet you $50!"" The second guy accepts the bet and the first guy leaps off the building. Sure as hell, about 30 …

Emigrating to America Two brothers have a lifelong dream to immigrate to America. They work hard and save their money. After many years, they have saved enough money and finally emigrate into New York. Before they begin building their new lives in America, they decide to see some of the famous places they dreamed of for so long; the Statue of Liberty, the Empire State Building, the Rockettes, and others. Eventually, they make their way to Coney Island. As they stroll down the beach, taking in al…

Empire State Building There are 3 men on top of the Empire State Building. One has a stick, one has a rock, and one has a bomb. The man with the stick drops it and runs down to catch it. When he gets there, he sees a little girl crying. ""Why are you crying little girl,"" he asks. ""Some idiot on top of the Empire State Building dropped a stick and hit my boyfriend in the head! He has to go to the hospital!"" she replies. ""Oh I'm so sorry, so sorry!"" he says as he runs to the hospital. The man…

A psychic sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building... He says ""You're about to jump from Empire State Building tomorrow.""

A Mean Drunk Two men are sitting drinking at a bar at the top of the Empire State Building, when the first man turns to the other and says ""You know, last week I discovered that if you jump from the top of this building, the winds around the building are so intense that by the time you fall to the 10th floor, they carry you around the building and back into a window"". The bartender just shakes his head in disapproval while wiping the bar. The second guy says, ""What, are you nuts? There's no w…

The American, Frenchman, Norwegian and the Black guy So there is an American, Frenchman, Norwegian and a Black guy on top of the Empire state building. The American pulls out some dollars from his pocket and throws them off the building. ""Why did you do that?"" said the others. ""Because we have so much money. So the Frenchman pulls out some wine and throw it off the building. ""Why did you do that?"" said the others? ""Because we have so much wine."" The norwegian looks over at the black guy. …

One of my favorites Two men are in a bar at the top of the Empire State Building. The first man says to the other, ""You know, some days the wind is so strong up here you can take a drink of beer, jump out the window, and walk right back in."" To which the second man replies, ""There is no way that that is possible!"" The first man says ""I bet $100 that I can jump out that window and come right back in."" The second man, thinking this will be an easy $100 agrees, but tells the first man to leav…

Two men are drinking in a bar at the top of the Empire State Building... and there's a massive storm outside. Gale force winds. One man turns to the other and says: ""You know Mac, the wind is so strong right now, I bet you could jump out the window, and the wind would carry you gently down onto that window cleaning platform on the other side of the building, 20 stories down."" ""Bullshit!"" Mac exclaims, ""There's no way that would ever happen."" ""Alright then,"" the first man says, ""I'll pro…

Air Currents I learned this joke when I was about eight. My parents liked it so much I had to tell it to all their friends. __________ There's a bar on the 88th floor of the Empire State Building with an open balcony overlooking the city. One one fine April afternoon, two drunks stood at the railing, deep in conversation. ""I'm telling you,"" the first drunk said, ""it's all air currentsh. They blow crazy through thish city."" The second drunk was having none of it, but the first drunk was persi…

Two men are drinking in a bar at the top of the Empire State Building. One turns to the other and says: ""You know last week I discovered that if you jump from the top of this building- by the time you fall to the 10th floor, the winds around the building are so intense that they carry you around the building and back into the window."" The bartender just shakes his head in disapproval while wiping the bar. The 2nd Man says: ""What are you a nut? There is no way in heck that could happen."" 1st …

If a fifty cent piece and a quarter were on the Empire State Building which would jump off first? The quarter because it has less sense (cents).

What's big and hairy and climbs up the Empire State Building in a dress? Queen Kong.

What do you get if you cross King Kong with a giant frog? A monster that climbs up the Empire State Building and catches aeroplanes with its tongue.