#berlin

Obama and Biden are sitting in the Oval Office... Obama looks at the Vice President and says ""Look at this economic report! The people of Bangkok are doing astoundingly! What will we call this country in 20 years?"" Biden thinks for a moment, then replies, ""I'm not sure Mr. President. What will we call them?"" Obama stands up, looks into the distance, and says ""We will call them Tai-Two."" The President sits back down and reads another report. ""My god!"" he exclaims, ""The Berlin numbers are…

It's 1942, Berlin. A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest walks out.

An old Jewish joke. Rabbi Altmann and his secretary were sitting in a coffeehouse in Berlin in 1935. ""Herr Altmann,"" said his secretary, ""I notice you're reading Der Sturmer! I can't understand why. A Nazi libel sheet! Are you some kind of masochist, or, God forbid, a self-hating Jew?"" ""On the contrary, Frau Epstein. When I used to read the Jewish papers, all I learned about were pogroms, riots in Palestine, and assimilation in America. But now that I read Der Sturmer, I see so much more: t…

Obama in Berlin joke President Obama in Berlin outlining that maybe massive walls and state spying are not so bad after all.

Rabbi Altmann and his secretary were sitting in a coffeehouse in Berlin in 1935... ...""Herr Altmann,"" said his secretary, ""I notice you're reading Der Sturmer! I can't understand why. A Nazi libel sheet! Are you some kind of masochist, or, God forbid, a self-hating Jew?"" ""On the contrary, Frau Epstein. When I used to read the Jewish papers, all I learned about were pogroms, riots in Palestine, and assimilation in America. But now that I read Der Sturmer, I see so much more: that the Jews co…

Other students come by train A student to his father: Dear father, Berlin is a fantastic city, people are nice and I really like that city. But, I am a bit ashamed to come to school with my golden plated Ferrari whereas professors and other students come by train. Love, Your son Next day, an answer comes: My dear son, I transferred 20M to your bank account. Please buy your train quickly. Your loving father.

JFK in Berlin Picture this: Berlin, June 1963. JFK is due to make an important speech. Suddenly he appears, dressed from head to toe in a black plastic bag. He hops up to the microphone and says: ""ich bin ein bin-liner"" (extra karma if you know where I stole that from)

After his legs had been broken in an accident, Mr. Miller sued for damages, claiming that he was crippled and would have to spend the rest of his life in a wheelchair. Although the insurance company doctor testified that his bones had healed properly and that he was fully capable of walking, the judge decided for the plaintiff and awarded him $500,000. When he was wheeled into the insurance company office to collect his check, Miller was confronted by several executives. ""You're not getting awa…

An old Jewish joke. Rabbi Altmann and his secretary were sitting in a coffeehouse in Berlin in 1935. "Herr Altmann," said his secretary, "I notice you're reading Der Stürmer! I can't understand why. A Nazi libel sheet! Are you some kind of masochist, or, God forbid, a self-hating Jew?" "On the contrary, Frau Epstein. When I used to read the Jewish papers, all I learned about were pogroms, riots in Palestine, and assimilation in America. But now that I read Der Stürmer, I see so much more: that…

An Arab student e-mails his dad Dear Dad, Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here, but Dad, I am a bit ashamed to arrive at my college with my pure-gold Ferrari 599GTB when all my teachers and many fellow students travel by train. Your son, Nasser. The next day, Nasser gets a reply to his e-mail from his dad: My dear loving son, Twenty million US Dollar has just been transferred to your account. Please stop embarrassing us. Go and get yourself a train too. …

Some historic anti-Nazi jokes from Germany Hey there. I thought, I'll take the time and translate you some of the so-called "Flüsterwitze"(whisper jokes) from nazi Germany. * The old code of law seems to complicated, so it has to be changed. From now on, there are only three laws: 1. If you do something, or fail to do something, you are punished. 2. The penalty is determined by the peoples emotion*. 3.What the peoples emotions is dictated by the Gauleiter(governor). (1934/35) (original: "gesu…

An American girl goes on vacation to Berlin While walking through town one night, she sees a drunk guy openly taking a leak up against a wall. Disgusted, she loudly proclaims, "Gross!" The man turns with a proud smile on his face and says, "Danke!"

A man walks into a brothel And asks for the madame. The host says to him "Are you sure? She is our most expensive" He replies "Yes, I have $1000 ready!" Shocked at the amount, the host quickly runs up the stairs and grabs the madame and prepares a room for them. The man walks into the room with the madame and 30 minutes later walks out with a smile on his face and leaves. The next day, at the exact same time the man returns again with $1000 and only asks for the madame. Again, the next…

Geography class -Whats the capital of Germany? -Berlin teacher -Whats the capital of France? -Berlin again teacher -Whats the capital of Poland? -Still Berlin teacher -Adolf! If you keep this up you'll fail geography! -We'll see about that

A German is at the border to go to Poland. The officer asks him: Name? Hans Gruber. Address? 123 SpiegelStrasse, Berlin Occupation? Nein, just visiting.

A son arrives at his new school in Berlin. He writes a letter to his dad, it reads: Dear Dad, Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here. But Dad, I am a bit ashamed to arrive at my own college with my pure-gold Ferrari 599GTB when all my teachers and many fellow students travel by train Your son, Ahmed The father responds: My dear loving son, 20 million US Dollars have hust been transferred to your account. Please stop embarrassing us. Go and get yourself a train too…

Grampa was telling us his war stories Grampa: 'So we were flying back from bombing out Berlin

German Refugee A refugee is sitting in the street in Berlin

Donald Trump is on his first state visit to Angela Merkel in Berlin... After a bit of small talk

Donald Trump goes to Germany Donald Trump is on his first state visit to Angela Merkel in Berlin.

I watched a documentary about the 1936 summer Olympics in Berlin It seemed like a wonderful event

The Berlin Wall Guard A guard stood in the East crossing of the Berlin Wall when he is approached by a man on a bicycle

A son arrives at his new school in Berlin. He writes a letter to his dad

Why Eiffel Tower is so high? So the white flag can be visible from Berlin.

An American girl goes on vacation to Berlin While walking through town one night