#palestine

Israel is like STOP TOUCHING ME and Palestine is like YOU'RE TOUCHING ME and Hillary is like I WILL PULL THIS CAR OVER.

My phone's autocorrect would like to wish everyone a happy Palestine Day.

Why didn't Jesus play during the Isreal-Palestine soccer game? He got suspended.

What's an Israeli ghetto called? Palestine.

My body is a temple Only because it hates Palestine

Free Palestine! With purchase of equal or greater value.

An old Jewish joke. Rabbi Altmann and his secretary were sitting in a coffeehouse in Berlin in 1935. ""Herr Altmann,"" said his secretary, ""I notice you're reading Der Sturmer! I can't understand why. A Nazi libel sheet! Are you some kind of masochist, or, God forbid, a self-hating Jew?"" ""On the contrary, Frau Epstein. When I used to read the Jewish papers, all I learned about were pogroms, riots in Palestine, and assimilation in America. But now that I read Der Sturmer, I see so much more: t…

My body is a temple But only because it hates Palestine. *Anthony Jeselnik*

Rabbi Altmann and his secretary were sitting in a coffeehouse in Berlin in 1935... ...""Herr Altmann,"" said his secretary, ""I notice you're reading Der Sturmer! I can't understand why. A Nazi libel sheet! Are you some kind of masochist, or, God forbid, a self-hating Jew?"" ""On the contrary, Frau Epstein. When I used to read the Jewish papers, all I learned about were pogroms, riots in Palestine, and assimilation in America. But now that I read Der Sturmer, I see so much more: that the Jews co…

Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy? A. The area around the Jordan. The banks were always overflowing.

An old Jewish joke. Rabbi Altmann and his secretary were sitting in a coffeehouse in Berlin in 1935. "Herr Altmann," said his secretary, "I notice you're reading Der Stürmer! I can't understand why. A Nazi libel sheet! Are you some kind of masochist, or, God forbid, a self-hating Jew?" "On the contrary, Frau Epstein. When I used to read the Jewish papers, all I learned about were pogroms, riots in Palestine, and assimilation in America. But now that I read Der Stürmer, I see so much more: that…

Netanyahu, while visiting the United Nations, overheard chants of "free Palestine!" He thought to himself, "What a bargain!"

A young tourist sees an old Jewish person praying in Western Wall They approach him and ask "how long have you been praying here?" the old man folds his Talit and answer "every day since my Bar Mitzvah so about 40 years". "so what do you pray for?" they asked. "for solidarity between jews around the world" he continues " for peace between muslims and jews, love and empathy between Israel and Palestine" " and how do you feel about praying for these things for half a century?" "like arguing with …

Why are computers in Palestine really fast? Because they've got Ramallah.

What does Pluto have up on Palestine? At least Pluto exists