#vietnam

How many Vietnam Vets will it take to change a ligh...nevermind, man! You wouldn't understand cuz you weren't there, man!

The way I dealt with that unexpected cobweb to the face tells me I probably wouldn't have been much use in Vietnam.

My mother-in-law's text alert is an entire song. Starting to think my father-in-law's rage isn't really from Vietnam.

Why is six afraid of seven? Six hasn't been the same since he came back from Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he sees Charlie hiding in the darkness, dead bodies hanging in the canopy, and remembers the smell of blood and gunpowder. When he sees seven, he is reminded of those days.

Two men are approaching each other on a pavement in America... Both are dragging their right foot as they walk. As they meet, one man looks at the other knowingly, points at his foot and says, ""Vietnam, 1969."" The other hooks his thumb behind him and says, ""Dog shit, 20 feet back.""

They put a protective casing over the Vietnam Wall. They're calling it the Maya Lin sheath.

Why did so many blacks die in Vietnam? Every time somebody yelled, ""GET DOWN!"" they'd get up and dance.

Deep in the jungles of Vietnam... ...you don't know what's friend and what's pho

What was the main difference between the war in Vietnam and the war in Iraq? George Bush had a plan to get out of Vietnam.

I fought in Vietnam I went there last year and some kid took my Cheetos so I hit him.

My dad went to Vietnam He single-handedly shot and killed 32 north vietnamese. Next year we're going on vacation somewhere else. Edit: spelling

What does a menopausal Vietnam vet suffer from? Hot flashbacks

TIL that soldiers in Vietnam ate small amounts of C4 plastic explosive to get high. No wonder the US defense budget blew up so quickly.

My friend got into an accident while vacationing in Vietnam He got hit by a Truc.

A LESSON IN MORALS One day at the end of class, little Johnny's teacher asks the class to go home and think of a story to be concluded with the moral of that story. The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story. Little Suzy raises her hand. ""My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road."" When t…

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those bastards, mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when they walked into that village and... oh Jesus. He shouldn't think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex's slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes. H…

Why Is Six Afraid Of Seven... Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. He can barely close his eyes without opening them again at the fear of Charlies lurking in the jungle trees. Not that you could see the bastards, mind you. They were swift, and they knew their way around the jungle like nothing else. He remembers the looks on the boys' faces as he walked into the village and... oh Jesus. The memories rarely left him. Sometimes he'd reminisce- even hear - Tex's southern drawl. He rememb…

Why was Six afraid of Seven? Because Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those bastards, mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when they walked into that village and... oh Jesus. He shouldn't think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex's slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn'…

Not the typical format for a post here, but thought it was worth sharing My grandfather passed away this week, and I'll always remember him for his jokes. He served in the military when he was younger, then raised 3 kids (including my mother). When my mother and my father were dating, he went over to their house just to stop by (he worked not too far away), and he saw my grandmother scratching off a lottery ticket. He asks ""You ever win anything off of those tickets?"", and my grandmother repli…

Why did so many black men get killed in Vietnam? When the generals would yell, ""Get down!"" they would all start dancing. I'm so sorry.

Yesterday, I wore my Vietnam Veterans cap when I went to Wal-Mart. Since I retired, trips to Wally World to look at the 'Wal-Martians' is always good for some comic relief. While standing in line to check out, the guy in front of me, probably in his early thirties, asked, ""Are you a Vietnam Vet?"" ""No,"" I replied. ""Then why are you wearing that cap?"" ""Because I couldn't find the one from the War of 1812."" [I thought this was a snappy retort.] ""The War of 1812, huh?"" the 'Wal-Martian' qu…

Did you know that more black men died in Vietnam than white men? It's all because when their sergeant would yell get down they would all start dancing.

A crippled war veteran was walking down the street... ... and walking towards him was what seemed to be another grizzled man dragging one limp foot across the sidewalk. As they approached closer, the crippled veteran gives the other man a nod of mutual respect and says, ""Vietnam. 40 years back."" The other man replies, ""Dog shit. 40 feet back.""

How many Vietnam vets does it take to change a light bulb? You dont know, *coz you weren't there, man!*

What would Captain America be called if he fought in Vietnam? You weren't there man