#susie

Little Susie came home from school one day and shouted ""Mom! Mom! I made $5 today!"" Her mother asked ""How did you do that, Little Susie?"" Little Susie said ""I was walking home from school when a man offered me $5 to climb a pole!"" Her mother was appalled and said ""Little Susie, don't do that! That man just wanted to get a look at your underwear!"" The next day, Little Susie came home from school and shouted ""Mom! Mom! I made $5 today!"" Her mother angrily said ""Little Susie! What did I …

Using the word 'definitely' A 3rd grade English teacher stood in front of her class and asked for volunteers to use the word 'definitely' to describe something. The first student, Johnny, raised his hand and said ""Teacher, the sky is definitely blue!"" The teacher responds ""Well Johnny, sometimes the sky can be grey and sometimes it can be black."" Defeated, Johnny put his hand down. The next student, Susie, looking to make Johnny look bad proudly said ""The grass is definitely green."" Teache…

As soon as they had finished making love, Susie jumped up from the bed and started packing her suitcase ""What on earth are you doing?"" asked her puzzled husband. ""In Las Vegas I could get two hundred dollars for what I just gave you for free,"" she pointed out, ""so I'm moving to Las Vegas."" This was enough to provoke her husband to jump up and begin packing *his* bags. ""What are you up to?"" asked Susie in surprise. ""I'm following you to Las Vegas,"" he replied. ""I've *got* to see you li…

A Sunday school teacher of preschoolers asked the students to learned one fact about Jesus by the following Sunday. The following week she asked each child in turn what he or she had learned. Susie said ""He was born in a manger."" Bobby said ""He threw the money changers out of the temple."" Little Johnny said ""He has a red pickup truck but he doesn't know how to drive it."" Curious the teacher asked ""And where did you learn that Johnny?"" ""From my Daddy"" said Johnny. ""Yesterday we were …

A teacher asks her kids in class.... "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Little Johnny says "I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day". The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importanc…

Legs up in the Air One day little Susie went into her back yard and found her dog Muffles lying dead with its legs up in the air. She asked, "Daddy, Daddy why is Muffles legs in the air?" Thinking quickly, her dad replied, "This way Jesus can come down and take Muffles to heaven easier." The next day when Susie's dad came home she ran up to him and said, "Daddy, Daddy, Mommy almost died today." Flustered, her father said, "Honey what happened?" And Susie said, "Well Mommy's legs were up in the…

Little Johnny asked one day, "Mommy can little girls give birth?" "No son. Of course not" "Oh OK... Hey Susie! Its OK to keep playing the game now!"

Susie wasn't the best student in Sunday school... Susie was sleeping in class when the teacher asked her "who created the universe?" Timmy, who was sitting behind her, poked her with his pencil to wake her up and she yelled out "God Almighty!" Very good, said the teacher. Later, when Susie was sleeping again her teacher asked her "Who is our lord and saviour?" Again Timmy poker her with a pencil and she yelled out "Jesus Christ!" Well done, said the teacher, who was clearly impressed. Even la…

Little Johnny...again. A teacher asks her class, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Little Johnny says "I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day". The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give imp…

Little Johnny and Susie are only 10 years old... but they just know they are in love. One day, they decide they want to get married, so Johnny goes to Susie's father to ask him for her hand. Johnny bravely walks up to him and says, 'my Smith, me and Susie are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage.' Thinking that this was the cutest thing, Mr Smith replies, 'Well Johnny, you are only 10. Where will you two live?' Without even taking a moment to think about it, Johnny replies,…

Susie has no arms Knock knock! Who's there? Not Susie

A catholic school teacher was teaching a lesson one morning and asked his students where Jesus was. "Yes Susie" he said as he called on Susie whose hand was raised. "He's in heaven!" She shouted with pride. He called on Steven who said "He was in his heart" The only boy left with his hand raised with had the most unusual answer "He's in my bathroom!" Everyone had a puzzled look on his/her face. "Yeah!" Said the boy.. "My father bangs on the door every morning saying 'Jesus Christ, ya still in t…

The Billionaire Kid. A teacher asks her class, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Little Johnny, always the first with his hand up and always the naughtiest says “I wanna be a billionaire Miss” “I’ll be going to the most expensive clubs, take my best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day!”. The teacher is shocked and and is not quite sure how to dea…

A science teacher stood in the front of the class and asked... "Children, if you could have one raw material in the world, what would it be?" Little Stevie raised his hand and said "I would want gold, because gold is worth a lot of money and I could buy a Corvette." The teacher nodded, and then she called on little Susie. Little Susie said, "I would want platinum because platinum is worth more than gold and I could buy a Porsche." The teacher smiled, and then she called on Little Johnny…

A teacher asks her class, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Little Johnny says "I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day". The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he sai…

A teacher asks if anyone in the class can use the word "contagious" in a sentence. Jenny puts her hand up and says "My mum says we should stay home when we're sick incase we're contagious." "That's right" the teacher says, "Anyone else?" Susie says "My grandma says a smile can be contagious." "Very good" says the teacher, "Anyone else?" Little Johnny puts his hand up and says "My dad says our neighbour is painting his house with a two inch brush and it'll take the cunt ages."

A teacher asks her class "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Little Johnny says "I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day". The teacher, shocked and not knowing how to respond to this, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the …

The kids are coming in from recess. The kids are coming in from recess. The teacher asks Susie what she did at recess. "I played in the sandbox with John." "That's nice. If you can spell 'sand', I'll give you a cookie." "S-A-N-D." "Okay, here's your cookie. Next is John. "John, what did you do at recess? "I played in the sandbox with Susie." "That's nice. If you can spell 'box', I'll give you a cookie." "B-O-X." "Great! Here's your cookie." The next kid to come in is Jamaal. "Jamaal, …

School! Johnny's teacher asked him ""if you had 15 jellybeans and Susie asked you for five

Little 8 year old Susie is in her back yard digging a hole.. ..Her neighbor Mr. Johnson peeks over the fence and says *""Gee Susie

A catholic school teacher was teaching a lesson one morning and asked his students where Jesus was. ""Yes Susie"" he said as he called on Susie whose hand was raised. ""He's in heaven!"" She shouted with pride. He called on Steven who said ""He was in his heart"" The only boy left with his hand raised with had the most unusual answer ""He's in my bathroom!"" Everyone had a puzzled look on his/her face. ""Yeah!"" Said the boy.. ""My father bangs on the door every morning saying 'Jesus Christ

Susie has no arms Knock knock!

Little Johnny and Susie are only 10 years old... but they just know they are in love.

Oh Susie. The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers.

Susie wasn't the best student in Sunday school... Susie was sleeping in class when the teacher asked her ""who created the universe?"" Timmy