#smith

*Will smith is alone in his corner, depressed* "Won't Smith," he whispers

*wind starts wearimg sunglases adn 90s clothes* *wind starts recitimg will smith raps* wow this is som realy fresh air

(in dog boss' office) "Smith, you're fired." Fine. I guess I'll just WALK out... (boss' tail starts wagging) "Wait Smith get back here"

Imagine if last names were invented now, so instead of "Smith" and "Baker," we had "Frontenddeveloper" and "Socialmediaconsultant."

Did you know that Will Smith is a black smith?

The Will. Doug Smith is on his deathbed and knows the end is near. His nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons, are with him. He asks for 2 witnesses to be present and a camcorder be in place to record his last wishes, and when all is ready he begins to speak: ""My son, Bernie, I want you to take the Mayfair houses. ""My daughter Sybil, you take the apartments over in the east end."" ""My son, Jamie, I want you to take the offices over in the City Centre. ""Sarah, my dear wife, please take all …

Pregnancy in the 1940's. (Doc) - ""Mrs. Smith, I have some **great** news for you"".... (Patient) - ""Thats MISS Smith, doctor!"".... (Doc) - ""Miss Smith, I have some *bad* news for you""....

Wooden leg. My friend said he knew a man with a wooden leg named Smith. So I asked him ""What was the name of his other leg?""

Here at Smith Blarney cremation service we make money the old-fashioned way We urn it.

Cleaning Day Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. ""Boss,"" he says, ""we're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff."" ""We're short-handed, Smith,"" the boss replies, ""I can't give you the day off."" ""Thanks, boss,"" says Smith, ""I knew I could count on you!""

Will Will Smith Smith? Yes... Will Smith will smith

A policeman knocked at my door..... I answered and he said ""Mr. Smith? it's your wife, I'm afraid it looks like she's been in an accident."" I said ""I know, but she has a great personality and is a wonderful mum cook.""

Agent Smith A long time ago, when Agent Smith was newly generated, he was tasked to kill the rogue program, The Oracle, and her son. He was new to the Matrix, and was unaware of her capabilities. So he tried to delete her by firing at her with his gun, though the Oracle safely removed herself and her son from danger, much to Agent Smith's dismay. He never again had the same opportunity to delete her, as he soon received a new task; kill the one who would disrupt the Matrix; Kill Neo. So every ti…

3 guys are waiting while their wives give birth A nurse emerges from the back and says, ""Mr. David, come on back, your wife has delivered two beautiful babies!"" ""Wow! Twins, huh? That's interesting, I'm from the twin rivers."" Said Mr. David After another hour, a second nurse comes into their room and says, ""Mr. Smith, you wife has had healthy triplets!"" ""That's awesome!"" Replied Mr. Smith, ""I'm from the three islands, Jonu, Frot and Trik."" And with that he went back with the nurse The …

Mr. Smith is on his deathbed and knows the end is near His nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons, are with him. He asks for 2 witnesses to be present and a camcorder be in place to record his last wishes, and when all is ready he begins to speak: My son, ""Bernie, I want you to take the Mayfair houses."" My daughter ""Sybil, you take the apartments over in the east end."" My son, ""Jamie, I want you to take the offices over in the City Centre."" ""Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the resi…

Looking for hubby at The Pearly Gates Mary Smith, a devout lady, passes and is transported toward heaven. She asks St Peter if he can re-unite her with her husband for eternity? Sure, that's what we do here. What is his name? Smith. First name? John. Mary, we have a lot of those. Do you remember his last words, that's how we file people. Sure, 'if you are ever unfaithful after I die, I will turn over in my grave."" Oh, you mean Pinwheel Smith!

My friend said he knew a man with a wooden leg named Smith. . . My friend said he knew a man with a wooden leg named Smith. So I asked him ""What was the name of his other leg?""

wooden leg named smith My friend said he knew a man with a wooden leg named Smith. So I asked him ""What was the name of his other leg?""

(Calm down, this isn't a racist joke.) How do you find will smith in a snowstorm? (Not a racist joke!) You look for the fresh prints!

A man is at work when he receives a call from the hospital, where his pregnant wife is. Doctor: Is this Mr.Smith? Smith: Yes, what is the problem? Doctor: Sir, your wife is in labour, get here immediately! Smith races to the hospital, runs into the waiting room where the doctor is waiting. Smith: Where is she? How is my baby?! Doctor: She is okay sir, however your baby... Smith: What is it?! Doctor: It's miraculous! Your baby can fly! Smith: What!? What are you talking about? Doctor: Come see! T…

Cowboy gets bit by a snake on his willie .. 2 Cowboys riding the range stop to pee. While peeing, the first cowboy gets bit by a rattlesnake on his willie. He tells the 2nd cowboy to ride to town & get Doc. Smith. The 2nd cowboy rides to Doc Smith and tells him his friend got bit by a rattlesnake. Doc Smith says he has to delivery a baby right now, so just go back to your friend and suck the venom out. The 2nd cowboy rides back to the first cowboy. The first cowboy said , where is the Doc, w…

Will Will Smith smith? Will Smith will smith.

So I need you guys' idea for jokes? So a coworker of mine enjoys sleeping so much that another coworker and I started making jokes about it. Now what started off as just a couple of laughs here and there turned into our very own ""Chuck Norris"" jokes. To further explain we used the same structure of the jokes but instead of saying ""Chuck Norris"" we used his name, but to protect his identity I am going to say ""Smith"". Here are a couple of examples: -Most people take cat naps but cats take Sm…

A woman suddenly has a stroke and is rushed to the hospital... A few hours later, the doctor emerges from the emergency room and confronts the husband. ""Mr. Smith, your wife survived, I have some good news and bad. "" ""Well first of all, she can no longer talk straight and she'll probably spout random words, but that's normal. She has also lost complete control over her lower body including walking as well as using the bathroom, so you will need a wheelchair as well as diapers which must be ch…

When will Smith die When Will Smith die we will call him Was Smith?