#willie

Willie saw some dynamite, Couldn't understand it quite; Curiosity never pays: It rained Willie seven days.

Legless parrot A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, ""Jeesh. I wonder what happened to this Parrot?"" The parrot says, ""I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot."" ""Holy shit,"" the guy replies. ""You actually understood and answered me!"" ""I got every word,"" says the parrot."" I happen to be a highly intelligent, thoroughly educated bird."" ""Oh yeah?"", the guy asks, ""Then answer this -- how d…

Cowboy gets bit by a snake on his willie .. 2 Cowboys riding the range stop to pee. While peeing, the first cowboy gets bit by a rattlesnake on his willie. He tells the 2nd cowboy to ride to town & get Doc. Smith. The 2nd cowboy rides to Doc Smith and tells him his friend got bit by a rattlesnake. Doc Smith says he has to delivery a baby right now, so just go back to your friend and suck the venom out. The 2nd cowboy rides back to the first cowboy. The first cowboy said , where is the Doc, w…

There were three unruly kids in detention Their names were Zip, Willie and Pee. The teacher briefly left the room and the three kids saw this as an opportunity to have some fun. Zip jumped up onto a table and started dancing. Willie went into the teachers cupboard and Pee started running around. The teacher shortly came back, saw the chaos and said: 'Zip down, Willie out, Pee in the corner!'

I came home one day and there were five penguins standing in my driveway. I didn't know what to do so I called a vet. His name was Willie and he was in Viet-Nam. "" Willie WTF should I do with these Penguins?"" Willies says "" Take them to the zoo"" Good Idea. So I run into Willie downtown a couple of weeks later. "" WTF are you doing with those penguins in the back of your truck, I told you to take them to the zoo?"" "" I did, and we had so much fun I am taking them to a hockey game""

REVISED HIGH SCHOOL MATH PROFICIENCY EXAM FOR SO. CAL. NAME______________________________ GANG NAME_________________________ 1) Jose has 2 ounces of cocaine. If he sells an 8 ball to Antonio for $320 and 2 grams to Juan for $85 per gram, what is the street value of the rest of his hold? 2) Rufus pimps 3 hos. If the price is $85 per trick, how many tricks per day must each ho turn to support Rufus' $800 per day crack habit? 3) Jerome wants to cut the pound of cocaine he bought for $40,000 to make…

This lady is giving a party for her granddaughter, and has gone all out. She had a caterer, band, and a hired clown. Just before the party starts, two bums show up looking for a handout. Feeling sorry for the bums, the woman tells them that they can get a meal if they will chop some wood out back. Gratefully, they head to the rear of the house. Guests arrive, and all is going well with the children having a wonderful time. But the clown has not shown up and she unsuccessfully tries to entertain …

A lady is throwing a party for her granddaughter, and had gone all out..... a caterer, band, and a hired clown. Just before the party started, two bums showed up looking for a handout. Feeling sorry for the bums, the woman told them that she would give them a meal if they will help chop some wood for her out back. Gratefully, they headed to the rear of the house. The guests arrived, and all was going well with the children having a wonderful time. But the clown hadn't shown up. After a half and …

Willie: ""I have an awful toothache."" Tommie: ""I'd have it taken out if it was mine."" Willie: ""Yes if it was yours I would too.""

A wildlife biologist is working in the woods miles from the nearest town. He's camped alone with his dog and cat as his companions. Suddenly an old gentleman carrying a small limp dog franticly runs into his camp. ""Please please help me! I think something has happened to Willie. Our Winnebago is parked just around the bend and we've seen you camped here. We didn't know what to do. We thought of you because we had seen all this scientific equipment laying around here. Can you help him?"" "" Sir …

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel sticking out of his pants The bartender says, "Pirate, you know you got a steering wheel attached to your willie?" The pirate replies, "ARRG! It's drivin' me nuts!"

The parrot without legs A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, "Jeesh. I wonder what happened to this Parrot?" The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot." "Holy shit," the guy replies. "You actually understood and answered me!" "I got every word," says the parrot.” I happen to be a highly intelligent, thoroughly educated bird." "Oh yeah?", the guy asks, "Then answe…

Hello Willie An old bloke woke up to celebrate 92nd birthday and spoke to his toes. He said, “Hello toes! How are you? You know, you're 92 today. Oh the times we’ve had! Remember we walked in the park in the summer every Sunday afternoon? The times we waltzed on the dance floor? Happy Birthday, toes!” “Hello, knees,” he continued. “How are you? You know you’re 92 today. Oh, the times we’ve had! Remember when we marched in the parade? Oh, the hurdles we’ve jumped together. Happy Birthday, knee…