#smith

[Dadjoke] A man walks into a gun shop to buy a gun, the owner shows the man a beautiful 6 shot Smith and Wesson revolver, the customer says no thanks I need a 9 shot..... ...it's for the cat next door.

A woman gets pulled over for speeding... A cop comes up to her car and asks for her license and registration. She opens up the glove compartment to get them out, when the cop notices the Smith & Wesson 32 cal. in the glove compartment. He says, ""Um, ma'am, I hope you don't mind but I'd feel more comfortable if you handed over that revolver until we're done here."" She's like ""Sure, no problem."" And she unloads it and hands it over. The cop is about to continue with his duties, looking ove…

How do you find will smith in a snow storm? Follow the fresh prints

How do you spot will smith in the snow? Just look for the fresh prints.

English Joke - A Good Dancer My friend said he knew a man with a wooden leg named Smith. So I asked him, ""What was the name of his other leg?"" Why is this funny? It's funny because of the confusion between these two phrases; ""a man with a wooden leg"" and ""a wooden leg named Smith.""

How do you find will smith in a blizzard? Look for fresh prince

Are you a sword smith? Because you sure know how to make long hard stabbing objects. (Pickup line)

A man with terminal cancer gets frozen... Then, he gets awakened in 2060 when they can cure his cancer. The first thing he does when he learns he's in 2060 is call his broker: Well, mister Smith, your total net worth today is $3,405,444,102.26. Upon learning he's a multibillionnaire, he leaps of joy and slips in some reverie, until a little voice chimes in on the phone: Operator here, your three minutes are up. Please put two million dollars in the phone!

I stay away from granny Smith. She's just too tart for me.

A man is cruising trough Hillbilly country Mr Smith is cruising in his convertible trough HillBilly country. The landscape is barren, large fields and the occasional tree. Suddently, Mr Smith notices a man on top of a tree: a Hillbilly. He gets closer to ask for directions and he is baffled: BRAAAMM BEEEMM BEEEEEEEM BEEEEEEEEEMMM BRA BRA BRA BEEEMMMM, shouts the HillBilly while riding a imaginary motorbike.   Mr Smith is stunned, and just cruises along. A mile away he notices another tr…

The Purple Butterflies Timmy was on his way to school one bright summer day and had a giant smile on his face. His parents watched from the doorway, waving, and smiling as there son disappeared into this distance. On his way he meets up with his friends and they all begin talking. He looks over and sees a purple butterfly flying around for a moment, before disappearing behind some bushes. The bell rings and he runs inside. ""How are you Timmy?"" Lucy asks him. ""Good,"" he grins. ""Have you ever…

SMITH'S QUESTION... One of our co-worker Mr Smith went missing for a few hours and we tore up the place looking for him. The boss finally found Smith fast asleep. Rather than waking him, he quietly placed a note on the man's chest: ""As long as you're asleep, you have a job but as soon as you wake up, you're fired!"" Should Smith wake up or continue sleeping? Drop ur comment fast

As a black man with the last name Smith, does that make Will Smith a blacksmith? If so, will Will Smith smith? Some say Will Smith will smith. Will Will Smith's will to smith will smiths to smith like Will Smith?

G-r-l-ammer My friend said he knew a man with a wooden leg named Smith. So I asked him ""What was the name of his other leg?"" (Try this one with your students the next time you are teaching a lesson that includes this type of grammar.)

a young man goes to confession the priest asked "" do you have any sins to confess?"" "" yes father, i've had carnal knowledge of a young lady."" the priest shakes his head "" was it molly watson? i've seen how short her skirts are."" "" i can't tell you father."" "" was it the smith girl? i've seen how low her tops are cut."" ""was it the jones girl? she always seems to be looking at boys."" "" i really can't tell you father."" "" alright, say 100 hail marys and 200 our fathers and come by ever…

Soldier Smith! I did not see you at camouflage training yesterday! -Sir, Thank you very much, Sir!

man with a wooden leg My friend said he knew a man with a wooden leg named Smith. So I asked him ""What was the name of his other leg?"" (Try this one with your students the next time you are teaching a lesson that includes this type of grammer.)

once tom cruise and will smith bumped into each other.. and this is how online scams get your attention

How do you find will smith in a snow storm?? Just look for the fresh prints. BOOOM!

I went swimming the other day and nearly drowned. 2 families were there to pull me out. The Smith family and the Ball family. Luckily I was pulled out by the Smiths I went swimming the other day...

A blonde visited a bar... A blonde visited a bar for the first time, sat at the table in front of the bartender. A guy at her left ordered, ""Jack Daniels, Single"" A guy at her right ordered, ""Johnny Walker, Single "" The bartender looked at the lady, said ,""and what about you?"" Lady replied,""Amber Smith, Married""

A state trooper knocks on Mr. Smith's door... ""Mr. Smith,"" The officer goes on, ""as you know, we have been searching for your missing wife for the last 10 days. We've put our best men and our most advanced resources into the search. The governor is going to call a press conference this evening to call off the search. I'm here to tell you that you should prepare for the worst."" So, Mr. Smith says, ""alright, but you've gotta drive me to Goodwill to buy everything back!""

I never take risk while drinking It's long but read it .. This one is hilarious.. I never take risk while drinking When I come from office in the evening, wife is cooking I can hear the noise of utensils in the kitchen I stealthily enter the house Take out the bottle from my black cupboard Mona Lisa is looking at me from the photo frame But still no one is aware of it Becoz I never take a risk I take out the glass from the rack above the old sink Quickly enjoy one shot Wash the glass and again k…

My friend said he knew a man with a wooden leg named Smith. So I asked him ""What was the name of his other leg?""

A cop pulled over an elderly lady... He approached the car. ""License and registration, please."" The elderly lady handed the officer the requested documents, along with her firearms carry permit. The officer, on seeing the permit, asked the woman if she had any guns with her. ""Why yes. I've got a Smith & Wesson revolver in my purse, a Glock in the center console, a Walther PPS in the glove compartment, a shotgun behind the seat, and two AR-15's in the trunk."" The officer, slightly taken a…