#santa

Time for a Christmas joke... Some time in the early 80s, during perestroika, a couple is walking in St. Petersburg Square in late December. There was a fine mist in the air, and the couple are arguing. I think it’s snowing," says the man. "No. That's definitely rain ," replies his wife. "Too cold for rain," he states. "Too wet for snow," she retorts. They continue this argument back and forth for 10 minutes. Finally, the wife see a police officer and says, "How about we ask him to settl…

For cannibals, which of Santa's reindeer is their favourite? Donner.

Kid: Santa, what’s the story of your reindeer names? Santa: Why I name them after memories, like Prancer frolicking through the snow! Kid: What about Donner? *A dark countenance settles on Santa’s face* Santa: The year was 1847, snowfall had trapped us in the Sierra Nevada...

Who wants to be a millionaire Did you hear about the Scottish guy who got to the final question on Who Wants to be a Millionaire, in America. The million dollar question was “Where is Santa Fe”? He answered the North Pole!

I was chatting with my Finnish friend the other day... I asked him where his favorite part of Finland was. He said "Hyvä kysymys! I really like Rovaniemi for the Santa Claus Village!" I asked him "Hyvä kysymys? What's that?" All he said was "Good question!" It's been a week and he still hasn't told me what it means. (I'm learning Finnish, this joke has likely been done before with a different language, haven't seen it here yet) edit: fingers added a letter, got it fixed

(OC - and stupid) If there was a reindeer racing league, what would it be named? NASCARibou

Amazon is a lot like Santa Clause It brings gifts to our homes, gets busy around christmas and is very eager for our cookies.

Christmas always sucked when I was a kid because I believed in Santa Claus and unfortunately, so did my parents.

Everyone knows about Rudolph The Red Nose Reindeer... But few know about Harold the Brown Nose Reindeer. He was as strong as the rest, and could fly as high. He just couldn't stop as fast.

Legend Long ago and far away, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip...but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule. Then, Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mom was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the f…

The Angel on the Christmas Tree Not long ago and far away, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip. But there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule. Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mom was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth a…

One Christmas, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus saying, “Please send me a sister.” Santa Claus wrote him back, “OK, please send me your mother.”

A child asked Santa Claus “How did your reindeer get their names?” Santa replied, “I named them after memories, like pranced frolicking through the snow!” “What about Donner?” the child asked. A shadow settled on Santa’s face, and after a moment he began: “The year was 1847, and snowfall had trapped us in the Sierra Nevada ….”

What nationality is Santa Claus? North Polish

Some poor children in Victorian London were listening to Christmas songs They heard that Santa Claus gives coal to children who aren´t on his nice list, and so they commit as many petty crimes as possible to be on his naughty list so as to not die of hypothermia.

Santa Jingle… He's making a list. He's checking it twice. Gonna find out who's naughty or nice. Santa Claus is in violation of the General Data Protection Regulation (EU) 2016/679

One night a Viking named Rudolph the Red looked outside and said "It's going to rain!" His wife asked "How do you know?" He smiled and answered proudly, "Because Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!"

Everybody knows Rudolph the Red Nose leads Santa's sled team... ...but few know that Bruno the Brown Nose is the second in line. He can run as fast as Rudolph, but he isn't as quick to stop.

Post office joke A post office received a letter from a little boy named Billy addressed to Santa Claus. They look at each other and, not knowing what to do with this, decide to read it out loud and have some fun. The letter goes something like this: “Dear Santa, our dad left us recently, my mom lost her job, so now I don’t have anything to wear during the winter as we can’t afford buying any new clothes… Can you please send me a winter coat, some gloves and a scarf? I’ve been a good boy the wh…

Q: What is a dinosaur's least favorite reindeer? A: Comet.

What do female reindeer do for fun? Go into town and blow a couple hundred bucks.

What do Santa Clause and Bill Cosby have in common ? They don’t come until you’re asleep.

TIL Santa Claus is European.. North Polish to be exact

What do Santa Claus and my dad have in common? I’ve never met the real one...

Santas reindeer get lost on a flight one night and don't return to the pole. After being missing for weeks they are found