Bad Christmas cracker jokes. Where do you find reindeer? It depends on where you leave them! What do reindeer have that no other animals have? Baby reindeer! Knock Knock Who's there? Snow Snow who? Snow business like show business! Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas? Santa Jaws! What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a detective? Santa Clues! What do you call a man who claps at Christmas? Santapplause! Why was Santa little helper depressed? Because he had low elf estee…

A little boy wrote to Santa Claus... One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus, "Please send me a sister." Santa Claus wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."

A married woman walks up to Santa Claus and tells him that all she wants for Christmas is for her husband to be interested in s*x. Santa then proceeds to give her a bottle of pills. He tells her to give them a try and then let him know how it's working. So she takes the pills home and puts one pill in her husband's Christmas dinner. That night, they make love for one hour. The next day, she's running around thrilled and happy. "Oh, my God. I can't believe how well that worked," she thinks to her…

You lied! Santa Claus is NOT real, mom! If "mom" is even your real name... [Neighbor to mom] hi Susan! *kid faints*