#santa

Teacher: Is Lapland heavily populated? Class: No there are not many Lapps to the mile! Teacher: Name an animal that lives in Lapland! Pupil: A reindeer Teacher: Good now name another. Class: Another reindeer!

- Santa Claus one smart and one stupid policeman are walking together when they spotted hundred dollars on the ground. Who will take the money? - ??? - Stupid policeman since Santa Claus and the smart policeman don't exist.

Republicans first began thinking like Republicans when they stopped believing in Santa Claus. Democrats became Democrats because they never stopped believing in Santa Claus.

Democrats' favorite Christmas carol is ""Deck the Halls."" Young Democrat's favorite Christmas carol is ""Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer."" Republican's favorite Christmas carol is ""White Christmas."" Young Republicans' favorite Christmas carol is ""White Christmas.""

Q: If you were out in the woods who would you trust for directions an in-tune tenor sax player an out-of-tune tenor sax player or Santa Claus? A: The out-of-tune sax player! You were hallucinating the other two.

Knock Knock Who's there ! Athena ! Athena who ? Athena reindeer landing on your roof !

What does the bee Santa Claus say ? Ho hum hum !

Q: Did you hear about the Jewish Santa Claus? A: He comes down the chimney wakes up the children and says ""Hey kids do you want to buy some toys?""

What's blue and has big ears ? An elephant at the North Pole !

What did the dentist see at the North Pole?...A molar bear

What do you get from a cow on the North Pole? Cold cream!

What game do reindeer play in their stalls? Stable-tennis!

What reindeer can jump higher than a house? They all can! Houses can't jump!

'Father Christmas has two reindeer. He calls one Edward and the other one Edward! I bet you can't tell me why he does that!' 'Oh yes I can.' the elf said. 'Because tow 'Eds are better than one of course!'

Why did the reindeer wear sunglasses at the beach ? Because he didn't want to be recognised !

ELF: Santa one of the reindeer swallowed my pencil! What should I do? SANTA: Use a pen.

If Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus had a child what would he be called? A subordinate claus.

Why does Santa Claus only have seven reindeer? Because Prancer moved in with a hairdresser in Beverly Hills.

Did you hear that one of Santa's reindeer now works for Proctor and Gamble? Its true....Comet cleans sinks!

How does Santa Claus take pictures? With his North Pole-aroid.

What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus? Crisp Cringle.

JUDY: What did the ghosts say to Santa Claus? MIKE: We'll have a boo Christmas without you.

What does Father Christmas call that reindeer with no eyes? No-eyed-deer!

What does Father Christmas suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney ? Santa Claustrophobia !

Why are Father Christmas' reindeer like a cricket match? Because they're both stopped by the rein.