#santa

Why doesn't Santa Claus have any children? Because he only comes once a year

What's the difference between Santa Claus and Harry Potter? Santa would never free an elf.

Why does Santa Clause have such a big sack? He only comes once a year.

What do Bill Cosby and Santa Claus have in common? They both come when you're alseep.

A little boy wrote to Santa Claus... One day

Why doesn't Santa Claus have any kids? He only comes once a year

A couple is walking in Moscow when they feel a slight precipitation The husband says "ah, it's raining" The wife replies "no it's snowing" "How about we ask this communist officer here" replies the husband, "he is always right!, "Officer Rudolph, Is it raining or snowing?" "definitely raining" replies Rudolph before walking off "see?" says the husband, "Rudolph the red knows rain, dear"

Why doesn't Santa Claus have any children? Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, its down the chimney.

There are no divorce courts at the North Pole, so when Santa and his wife wanted to split up, they got a semicolon. They're great for separating independent Clauses.

A couple is walking in St. Petersburg Square on Christmas Eve They feel a slight precipitation. "I think it’s raining," says the man. "No, it’s snowing," replies the woman. "How about we ask this Communist officer here? He is always right!" exclaims the man. "Officer Rudolph, is it raining or snowing?" "Definitely raining," Officer Rudolph replies before walking off. The man turns to his wife with a smile. “See? Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”

My love life is like Santa Claus. It exists thanks to gullible six year olds

What did the penguin say to the polar bear?,"Nothing penguins live in the south pole and polar bears live in the north pole. TROLOLOLOL

How do you catch a polar bear?,"Go to the north pole and dig a hole in the ice. Set some peas around the hole and when the polar bear comes to take a pea you kick it in the ice-hole.

Have you heard about Henry the brown-nosed reindeer?,"He's just as fast as Rudolf he just can't stop as quick

Can you name all of Santa's reindeer?,"No they already have names.

Why doesn't Santa Claus have any children?,"Because he only comes once a year and when he does it's down the chimney.

Why is the north pole of a magnet red?,"Because they don't have seals on the south pole Takes a while to get but it's worth it in the end.

Why Is there a little angel on top of the Christmas tree?,"Many years ago, on Christmas Eve, everything went wrong at the North Pole. Mrs Claus was on the rag, the reindeer had the runs, the elves were on strike and Rudolph hit the bottle pretty hard. Santa was pretty pissed-off and about to explode when the little angel walked in with a freshly cut spruce tree. -- where do you want me to put the tree Santa? the little Angel asked. Santa exploded: And this is why there is a little angel at the…

How does Santa make new baby reindeer?,"In vitro, in Prancer, in Dancer in Vixen.

What do Bernie Sanders and Santa Claus have in common?,"They're old promise you free shit and are red!

What was the other reindeer's name? Olive. EDIT: Please don't explain and let those suffer who don't understand

What do you call one of Santa's helpers who bosses around the reindeer?,"When he found out, Santa shouldn't have gotten mad he only had his elf to blame. Now Santa won't forgive him until elf freezes over.

What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins live in the south pole and polar bears live in the north pole. TROLOLOLOL

Look, a reindeer. Santa, is that you? Nope. Chuck Testa.

Why is Santa Claus always so happy? He knows where all the bad girls live