If I were Santa Claus, I'd have my agent be like "He's not doing it this year if Ronald McDonald is going to be there in that shoe car."

Someone just told me "if you don't believe in Santa Claus, he'll never visit!" So on that note, I no longer believe in cancer.

What do Me, Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny have in common? You guessed it: we're all white.

Santa Claus uses foreign elves to make his toys. It's time to bring those jobs back to America. Huge tariffs coming to the North Pole!