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Obama, Queen Elizabeth and Kim Jung il are entering the gates of hell Obama sees that there is a phone at the Devils office and asks him if he could use it to make one last call to his family. The devil says its ok and Obama makes the call. He spoke for 10 minutes and the devil then said it cost 1 million dollars because it was a long distance call. Obama obviously didn't have a choice so he payed up and then entered the gates of hell. Queen Elizabeth then said she wanted to make a call and thโ€ฆ

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UN Survey Last month, the UN conducted a global survey: # "Please give us your honest opinion about a solution to the Food Shortages in the Rest of the World." ​ The poll turned out, not unexpectedly, to be a huge flop. Why? ​ \-In Africa, participants didn't know what 'food' was. \-Russia didn't know what 'honest' meant. \-Western Europe did not know the word 'Shortage '. \-The Chinese did not know what 'opinion' was. \-The Middle East asked what 'solution' meant. \-Soโ€ฆ

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There was this musician in North Koreaโ€ฆ One day he was called upon Kim Jong-Un himself to compose a piece of music and have the great North Korean orchestra play it to him in the humble auditorium. The man, not wanting to displease the Great Leader, did as he asked. The big night arrived with the musician stood at the front of the greatest orchestra in the whole of North Korea. However, they were terrible. They didnโ€™t play the music anything like the musician had composed it to sound. โ€ฆ

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Kim Jong-un walks into a school in North Korea. He asks a student "Who is your father? The student replies "The Supreme Leader, infinite in wisdom and kindness, provider and protector of the Koreans, he is our only father." Kim Jong beams. "Excellent. Now tell me who is your mother?" The student doesn't hesitate. "The Land of True Korea, outstanding in her beauty, international superpower, and redeemer of all civilisations, she is our only mother." Kim Jong applauds. "What a diligent studโ€ฆ

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The geography of a woman as she ages: (from a friend) Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa . Half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally Beautiful! Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe. Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value. Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain. Very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty. Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece. Gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit. Between 41 and 50, a โ€ฆ

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