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#kim-jong-un

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Kim Jong Un wakes up after a drinking binge. He walks around his office, but sees no one. He explores his building, but can't find anyone. He peers out of the window, and the streets of Pyongyang are completely empty. His phone rings. Hurriedly he lifts it, hoping to get an explanation. His wife was on the other end of the line. *""Glorious husband! Last night you had too much Soju and opened our borders.""* *""Shit! Are the two of us the only people left?""* *""Actually... I'm calling from Seou

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Dave is constantly bragging to everyone at work that he knows everyone in the world. Eventually, his boss has had enough of his shit, and tells Dave to prove it. So, Dave says ""sure, name someone, and I'll prove to you that I know them."" After a minute of thinking, the boss suggests Tom Cruise, and so off they go to see him. Once they arrive at Cruise's house, Dave knocks on the door, and is immediately buzzed in. Tom Cruise comes running down the stairs and says ""Dave old buddy, good to see

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Donald Trump, Kim Jong Un, and El Chapo are on a punctured hot air balloon that's quickly going down. In order to slow their descent, they decide to throw stuff out of the basket in which they're riding. El Chapo throws several bricks of cocaine over the side and says, ""Don't worry, I've got tons of this stuff back in my country."" Following suit, Kim Jong Un throws over several bottles of Johnnie Walker Excelsior. ""I know this stuff is pretty rare, but don't worry, I've got a bunch of it back

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