#un

Leonardo Dicaprio has addressed the UN about climate change. Well if anyone should know about the dangers of melting icebergs, it's him!

At what age do you tell your kids that the UN isn't real

Have you heard about the drought in Yemen? The UN is giving out a lot of Yemen aid.

Star Trek Pakistani President Mr. Zardari just finished giving a speech at the UN, and walks out into the lobby where he met President Obama. They shook hands and walked together in the long corridor when suddenly the Pakistani said, ""You know, I have just one question about what I have seen in America."" President Obama says ""Well your Excellency, anything I can do to help you, I will do."" The Pakistani whispers, ""My son watches this show 'Star Trek' and in it there are Russians, and Blacks…

UN Survey Last month a world-wide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was:- ""Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"" The survey was a huge failure because of the following: 1. In Eastern Europe they didn't know what ""honest"" meant. 2. In Western Europe they didn't know what ""shortage"" meant. 3. In Africa they didn't know what ""food"" meant. 4. In China they didn't know what ""opinion"" meant. 5. In the M…

International relations The United Nations noticed that there was a lot of dissent among its ranks and relationships were strained. The UN leaders called a meeting and came up with a plan to increase morale that was discussed and agreed upon by all members. The plan was to take a representative from three different countries and place them on a deserted island for a year. They asked for volunteers. The representative from Greece stood up and shared how one of their own should be on the island be…

What's the difference between the UN and ISIS? The pension package.

There are seven ages of man: Sixteen to twenty-five... twice daily. Twenty-five to thirty-five... thrice weekly. Thirty-five to forty-five... try weekly. Forty-five to fifty-five... try weakly. Fifty-five to sixty-five... try oysters. Sixty-five to seventy-five... try anything. Seventy-five and beyond... try to remember. And just like the man, there are seven ages of woman: Sixteen to twenty-five, like Africa: partly virgin, partly explored. Twenty-five to thirty-five, like India: hot and myster…

Anita Sarkeesian and Zoe Quinn walk into the UN.. Then proceed to lecture them on bullying.

What do you call a group that has gotten nothing done since the 90s The UN

Polish Space Program The polish space program recently revealed to the UN that they were preparing to attempt the first manned space mission to the surface of the sun. When asked how they were going to accomplish this feat they answered, ""We are going at night"".

When A Fly Falls Into A Cup Of Coffee: The Italian - throws the cup, breaks it and walks away in a fit of rage. The German - carefully washes the cup, sterilizes it and makes a new cup of coffee. The Frenchman - takes out the fly and drinks the coffee. The Chinese - eats the fly and throws away the coffee. The Russian - drinks the coffee with the fly, since it came with no extra charge. The Israeli - sells the coffee to the Frenchman, sells the fly to the Chinese, sells the cup to the Italian, d…

The UN general assembly.

""Talking Dog for Sale"" A man is driving down the highway and sees a sign off the road that reads: ""Talking Dog for Sale. Next Exit."" He has some time to kill and is curious, so he pulls off the exit and follows the signs. The signs lead him to an old farmhouse where an old man is sitting on the porch in a rocking chair. The main gets out of his car and says, ""Excuse me! I'm here about a talking dog"" The man nods his head and says he's around back in the doghouse. The man walks to the back …

Maybe the UN and NATO wouldn't be so upset with the Ukraine invasion if they weren't just Russian in?

Wanna hear a joke The UN

The U.N. delegates of the world were in a plane headed to New York for a peace summit. Thirty minutes into the flight, the pilot announces that an engine has been blown, and he demands they throw all the seats off the plane. After detaching the seats, they throw them off. Thirty minutes after that, he announces another engine has been lost., and he demands all carry-on luggage be throw off the plane. Thirty minutes after that, he announces that another engine has been blown, and requests that th…

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening? Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China. George: Great. Lay it on me. Condi: Hu is the new leader of China. George: That's what I want to know. Condi: That's what I'm telling you. George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China? Condi: Yes. George: I mean the fellow's name. Condi: Hu. George: The guy in China. Condi: Hu. George: The new leader of China. Condi: Hu. George: The main man in China! Condi: H…

George Bush goes to a primary [elementary] school to talk about the war. After his talk, he opens the floor to questions. One little boy puts up his hand and George asks him what his name is. ""Billy, he says."" ""And what is your question, Billy?"" I have 3 questions. First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN? Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes? And third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden?"" Just then the bell rings for recess. George Bush infor…

So aliens from Mars comes down to Earth... ...And they're friendly! The leaders of the world and the aliens plan a huge televised event where the leaders can ask questions on whatever they want. During this event, the pope is up to talk to the aliens. "I know this question may sound odd to you gentlemen," the pope starts to ask, "but I was wondering if you and your kind knew about Jesus Christ?" "Jesus Christ?!?" the alien leader exclaims, "how do we not! He swings by our planet every two ye…

Sad but true. Worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge failure, In Africa they didn't know what 'food' meant, In India they didn't know what 'honest' meant, In Europe they didn't know what 'shortage' meant, In China they didn't know what 'opinion' meant, In the Middle East they didn't know what 'solution' meant, In South America the…

A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was: ‘Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world? The survey was a failure. In Africa they didn’t know what ‘food’ meant; in India they didn’t know what ‘honest’ meant; in Europe they didn’t know what ‘shortage’ meant; in China they didn’t know what ‘opinion’ meant; in the Middle East they didn’t know what ‘solution’ meant; in South America they didn’t kn…

A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN... The only question asked was: ""Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"

So I was at the UN headquarters...

A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was: ""Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"" The survey was a huge failure...