#turkey

Today I learned that Turkey insists on the Canadian pronunciation of its name Turkey, eh

Farts This is a story about Johnny and his wife Janne who had been happily married for years, the only friction in their marriage was Johnny’s habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke the noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water, and make her gasp for air. Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor, she was conce…

Did you know that they don’t serve Thanksgiving leftovers at rehab? People there are trying to quit cold turkey

Why don’t Greeks celebrate thanksgiving? Because they hate Turkey

In the past, I've tried to slowly wean myself off of my unhealthy habit of eating too many Thanksgiving leftovers, but it never works. This year I'm going to quit cold turkey.

Just in time for Thanksgiving: Boys have a thing and girls don't. One November afternoon when my daughter was in kindergarten, I picked her up after school. She bobbed out to the car and crawled into the back seat. "What did you do today?" I asked. She couldn't wait to tell me. "We learned that boys are different from girls" she chirped. Looking into the rearview mirror, I could just see the top of her head. "My teacher told us that boys have a thing and girls don't," she added. "Well, …

Europe is like a fridge You have the freezing cold part at the top. Then in the middle, you have cheese, cold meat, and a good drinks selection. Then, down the bottom corner, there's just turkey and grease.

I'm not eating leftover thanksgiving food this year. I'm quitting cold turkey.

I knew I was going to jail when the judge yelled, "Order in the court!" And my lawyer said, "I'll take a footlong turkey."

My mom said my sister was doing the turkey. I thought, “That’s not a very nice thing to call her son-in-law.” Happy Canadian Thanksgiving!

My daughter really wants a dog this Christmas I am open for new ideas but we normally eat turkey.

My wife keeps getting mad at me for eating leftovers straight from the fridge. I told her that it's really hard to quit cold turkey.

What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter on Thanksgiving Day? “Quack! Quack!”

It’s great that Turkey is providing heavy armoured vehicles to Ukraine. Everyone loves tanks giving turkey.

Bad Thanksgiving jokes from my sister What smells the best on Thanksgiving? Your nose. Which side of the turkey has the most feathers? The outside. If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims If Pilgrims were still alive, what would they be known for? Their age. What do you call the age of a Pilgrim? A pilgrimage. What can you call a relative who falls asleep after dinner? Your napkin. What should you expect at the end of Thanksgiving? The letter “g.”

What sound does a one legged turkey make? Wobble Wobble

Three Buddhist monks die in a car crash… They arrive in a beautiful clouded world and begin to walk towards a man. He is standing in front of the golden gates of heaven. “Hello! I am Peter. Behind me, is Heaven. Unfortunately, I can’t let you in since you three weren’t Christians… But! if you can tell me what the meaning of Easter is, I will gladly open these gates for you.” The three monks look at each other and nod in agreement. Monk 1 proudly claims to Peter, “Oh! Yes! Easter! Big man, …

Did you hear about the guy who got addicted to eating thanksgiving leftovers out of the fridge? He had to quit cold turkey.

A man moves across country to a new city. A man moves to a new city and starts a new job. Lunchtime comes around and his coworker asks him to join him. They go to a restaurant down the road, sit down and he orders the Club Sandwich. They get their food after a couple of minutes and talk about work. The man is intrigued - This restaurant is amazing! The decor is beautiful, all the waiting staff is quick and friendly, even the prices are reasonable. The next day he goes there again. He order…

A woman got a pet parrot, but she was horrified to discover that all it did was say mean things and insult her. Nothing she did could stop it. She was especially worried because her whole family was coming over for Thanksgiving. But when Thanksgiving dinner finally came, the parrot didn't say a word the entire time. After the meal, the Parrot turned to its owner and said, "Please forgive my behavior from before. I was entirely out of line." "Wow," the woman said, "glad to hear it." "If I may …

I’ve decided to quit using macOS and windows cold turkey I’ve become a gnu man

At a Diplomats' dinner, a waiter tripped and shattered the beautiful plate in which he was carrying a large turkey. Hushed silence turned into a roar of laughter, when the quick-witted Diplomat announced: "Ladies and Gentlemen! You have just witnessed 4 major international events happening :- Fall of Turkey Breakup of China Spillage of Greece and Frustration of Hungary!"

An 80 year old man goes in for a physical And the doctor tells him, "You're in terrific health, you're healthier than most 40 year olds, what do you contribute your exceptional health to?" And the man replies"Turkey hunting, every morning I walk in the mountains and go turkey hunting." "Well maybe genetics has something to do with it." Says the doctor, "How old was your father before he died?" "Who said my father was dead?" "You're 80 years old and your father is still alive?" The doctor sa…

A British spy goes undercover in America and tries to infiltrate the political ranks. To get into politics, he has to pass an oral exam. Examiner: When did the USA gain independence? Spy: July 4, 1776 \- Good. How many continents are there? \- Easy peasy, seven. \- Damn, you're good. Which continent is Turkey in? \- Technically, Turkey is in two continents; Asia and Europe, since some parts of- \*gets cut off\* \-Woah, you know your geography. Let's do some history now. …

Two priests and a whale walk into subway The first priest orders a turkey on italian