#google

I visited a real graveyard this Halloween I logged back into Google Plus.

How do you know Google is a male? Because it knows everything.

What did the website say to the Google bot after their breakup? I knew you'd come crawling back to me someday.

I don't know where else to put this, and I know reddit hates it, but if you have ok Google, ask 'what does the fox say?' I love their sense of humor.

New surveys show: Surveys show that Google plus is gaining rapid popularity among today's teens.

Wondering why Google has a black ribbon today... I think I forgot something.

Meanwhile, in mid-2015 A Google Glass wearer and an Apple Watch wearer are arguing in a bar over who looks like a huger idiot.

I think Google Translate did a poor job on these German jokes, but they make me laugh anyway. Teacher to student: ""'For this insolence you write one hundred times,' I am a lazy guy 'and it can then be signed by your father!' What day is the most labor intensive of an official? The Monday, as he must be equal to demolish two calendar pages. The German teacher asks Bini: ""What kind of a case, if you say: Learning brings me joy"" Bini does not hesitate: ""A rare, sir."" A man comes into the pharm…

I hope this becomes the first thing that shows up on Google for University of Arizona. The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona chemistry mid term, and an actual answer turned in by a student. The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well: Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the st…

knock knock Who's There? Do you ya Do you ya who? No, It's 2014 I use Google

Looking for joke about opposites Can't recall if it's a kids joke or not, but my Google-fu is failing me. The joke starts by asking the person to repeat a bunch of opposites - what's the opposite of up? <down> left? <right> etc... I *think* the punchline may have had something to do with the sky being blue or something like that where you asked what color is the sky and they give the wrong answer because the previous opposites that they've been rattling off. I know I'm not providing …

10 year old told me this one at the cap I work at: ""Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road?"" ""Well he tried, but the new Google car doesn't have any feelings, and well... You know..."" Edit: camp I work at I know its not the fubniest thing ever but i thought it was pretty creative for a kid his age. The other counselor thought otherwise tho. Didn't stop me from giving him permission to be the starter for silent speed ball though.

Google in the 80s ""I'm sorry, did you mean to search for *Deaf Leopard*?""

[Joke Request]: Death of Wife I don't often see joke requests on here, so I'm not sure how kosher this is, but I'm looking for a very specific type of joke and was hoping you guys could help. The basic premise is that a man's wife dies, his buddy empathizes and feels sorry for him, assuming that the man is sad, but the punchline reveals in some way that the man is quite content with the outcome (or something along those lines). I know there are a million of these, with all sorts of different con…

What's the best Russian Reversal joke you know? A few of my favourites.... * In Soviet Russia, Google searches you * In Soviet Russia, sentence finishes you * In America, you drive car. In Soviet Russia, car drives you * In Soviet Russia, lazy dog jumps over quick brown fox * In Soviet Russia, fetus aborts you. * Roses are red, Violets are blue, In Soviet Russia, Poems write YOU * in soviet Russia, chuck Norris still kills you

A Jew, Chinaman, American and a Indian are sitting around a table ... and they're all sipping on their bourbon. They're all very rich and they chinaman says "" I think I will buy Apple. "" And they all nod in approval save the jew. Then the Indian says "" I want to buy Google. "" And they all nod in approval save the jew. Then the American says "" I want to buy Samsung "" And they all nod in approval save the jew. Then the jew shudders and says "" sorry, not selling. ""

really old joke based off a video game from the 90's What are the three certainties in life? ( Thank you for spellcheck on google chrome ) 1. death 2. taxes. 3. you'll hear this joke sooner or later

My neighbor My aboriginal neighbour was telling me he got his kids a trampoline and a couple of bikes off the Internet for Christmas, I asked him which site he used, and he replied google earth

So if google glass got a virus.. Would it be called malware or malwear?

I tried searching on Google for 'Lost Medieval Servant Boy'. It told me 'This Page Cannot Be Found'.

Long Lost Twins There's this story on CNN running about these two long lost twins that found each other on Google! Did ya hear about it? The one guy down in Mexico, I think, was doing that family tree thing and found out that he had a twin, Ehmal, was taken as a baby with his mother back to the middle east! And these two found each other! Well the reporter on the CNN kept trying to run the story but for some reason Ehmal was like this anti-computer guy or something cuz he couldn't get a decent p…

When I search Canadian cats in Google... It just gives me a bunch of lynx.

""Angry Notes"" Courtesy of Saurabh on Fropki.com Dear Noah, We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5. Sincerely, Unicorns Dear Twilight fans, Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get it up. Enjoy dreaming about that. Sincerely, Logic Dear Icebergs, Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch. Sincerely, The Titanic Dear America , You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment. Sincerely, Canada De…

When searching for Gary Oldman on google images Make damn sure you dont miss that r...

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