#afghanistan

Q: What's the capital of Afghanistan? A: KABOOM!!

What's the most famous coffee in Afghanistan? Osama bin Latte

Dear John Revenge (Sorry if repost) Again, sorry if this is a re post but I love it! A Marine stationed in Afghanistan recently received a "Dear John" Letter from his girlfriend back home. It read as follows: Dear Ricky, I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice since you've been gone, and it's not fair to either of us. I'm sorry. Please return the picture of me that I sent to you. Love, Becky The Mari…

David Cameron has said the UK's mission in Afghanistan is 'accomplished'... David Cameron has said the UK's mission in Afghanistan is 'accomplished'. We're leaving that country in a state of poverty and despair, where half the population can't read and daily life is blighted by the ever-present threat of needless violence. Yes, we've brought the British way of life to them all right.

Insuring the Army Boudreaux, the smoothest-talking Cajun in the Louisiana National Guard, got called up to active duty. Boudreaux's first assignment was in a military induction center. Because he was a good talker, they assigned him the duty of advising new recruits about government benefits, especially the GI insurance to which they were entitled. The officer in charge soon noticed that Boudreaux was getting a 99% sign-up rate for the more expensive supplemental form of GI insurance. This …

Six weeks ago, my brother was deployed by Afghanistan... And today he called home. He asked me how things were back here, and so I took a deep breath and told him the truth. "Your cat died." My brother was aghast, especially at how coldly I said it. "Joe, that's not how you break bad news." Miles away, I could hear the frustration in his voice. He sighed and explained: "You should've started with something innocent and then gone from there. Don't open with the worst news. Say something l…

A freind of mine just started his own business in Afghanistan. He's making land-mines that look like prayer mats. It's doing well. He says prophets are going through the roof.

How did I get from Afghanistan to Iraq? Iran.

A large group of Taliban soldiers in Afghanistan are moving down a road when they hear a Voice call from behind a sand dune: "One Newfoundlander soldier is better than ten Taliban". The Taliban commander quickly orders 10 of his best men over the dune where a gun-battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes, then silence. The voice once again calls out: "One Newfoundlander is better than one hundred Taliban." Furious, the Taliban commander sends his next best 100 troops over the dune and i…

American female journalist in Afghanistan An investigative journalist went to Afghanistan to study the culture and was shocked to discover that women were made to walk ten paces behind the men. She asked her guide why and he said, "Because they are considered of lesser status." Outraged the journalist went home. A year later she returned covering violence in the region and was surprised to see the women walking ten paces ahead. She turned to her guide and this time asked, "What has change…

A week before Memorial Day, kids bring pictures of veteran family members to school for show and tell. First up was Mary. "My daddy served in Afghanistan. He was a paratrooper." "A paratrooper?" Asked the teacher, who was awed. "Yes, please look closer -- you can see his jump badge." Second was Joe. "My granny served in Vietnam. She was a doctor." "A doctor?" Asked the teacher, who was moved. "Yeah, see? That's a stethoscope hanging around her neck." Third was little Johnny, "This is my g…

A friend of mine just started his own business in Afghanistan.. making land mines that look like prayer mats. He's doing very well, business is booming and Prophets are going through the roof.

A United States Marine was deployed to Afghanistan. While he was there he received a "Dear John" letter from his girlfriend. In the letter she explained that she had slept with two guys while he had been gone and she wanted to break up with him. To add injury to the insult, she said she wanted back the picture of herself that she had given him. So the Marine did what any squared-away Marine would do. He went around to his buddies and collected all the unwanted photos of women he could find. …

I was fed up with being burgled and robbed every other day in my neighbourhood... The alarm system was of no use so I tore it out and deregistered from our ineffective local Neighbourhood Watch. Instead, I've Planted a Syrian, Afghanistan, Yemeni and Iranian flag in four corners of my front garden. Now, The city police, The National Security Bureau, MI-5, MI-6, The CIA And Every Other Intelligence Service In Europe... Are All keeping watch on my house 24x7 x 365..... I'm followed to and from …

A soldier was in Afghanistan He woke up early one morning and went outside. Looking around the camp there was no one to be seen, just all manner of Cakes, Donuts, and Trifles scattered all over the place. That’s when he realised that his team has desserted their post.

Dad: "Son, In Afghanistan I killed 12 people.” Son: Dad you were a cook. Dad:Never said I was a good one

Why is it hard to get Indian Food in Afghanistan??? Because of the Thali Ban...

“Son, I killed 12 people in Afghanistan” Son: Dad you were a cook. Dad:Never said I was a good one

A marine in Afghanistan receives a letter In the letter his girlfriend explained that she had slept with his best friend while he had been gone and she wanted to break up with him. To add injury to the insult, she said she wanted back the picture of herself that she had given him. So the Marine did what any self respecting Marine would do. He went around to his buddies and collected all the unwanted photos of women he could find. In all, he got more than 25 pictures of various women. He th…

Inflation in the US is so bad right now that… - My friend received a predeclined credit card in the mail. - CEO's are now playing miniature golf. - Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen. - McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer. - Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America. - Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names. - A truckload of Americans were caught sneaking into Mexico. - A picture is now only worth 200 words. - The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas …

What pronouns do the LGBTQ in Afghanistan use? was/were

A soldier is on patrol in Afghanistan... He comes upon an Afghan farmer at his farm.

What's the difference between an ISIS outpost and an Afghanistan elementary school? I have no clue

A young engineer has just started his own business in Afghanistan he's making landmines that look like prayer mats. It's doing very well. He says prophets are going through the roof.

Why aren't there any Wal-Mart's in Afghanistan? Because they are all Target's!