#the-beatles

Whenever someone says they don't like the Beatles, I'm like "Whatever, Gary." (their name isn't necessarily Gary; that's just an example)

The Beatles were so full of shit. They only used that yellow submarine residence for tax purposes.

The best part of Hey Jude is when The Beatles realise the lyrics are terrible and think 5 minutes of na-na-na will distract us, and it does.

One advantage The Monkees had over The Beatles was the opposable thumb

Today i convinced my brother for a full minute that the Beatles wrote "blackbird" about Batman

[The Beatles writing Here Comes The Sun] Paul: so what should come after here comes the sun? [Ringo screams from bathroom]: Doo Doo, Doo Doo

What's yellow and lives off dead beetles? Yoko Ono. --------------- The Beatles have reformed and have brought out a new album. It's mostly drum and bass.

TIL that the Beatles had to change the lyrics to Hello Goodbye because it was too ""british"". The original was ""Oi Mate Piss Off""

The Beatles drummer, Ringo Starr, has passed away... ...the band is now known as ""The Beatless"".

Shakespeare & The Beatles walk into a pub... ...Landlord says, ""sorry mate, you're barred and those guys are banned"".

What would it take for the Beatles to get back together again? Three more bullets

The Beatles and Pink Floyd collaborated on an Anti-Semitic song. It was called ""Hey Jew"" .

At the height of The Beatles' popularity... a woman walks into a tattoo shop and pulls up her dress, exposing her thighs. She points the the left thigh and says ""I want a tatto of John Lennon here,"" then to the right, ""and Paul McCartney right here."". After agreeing on a price, she jumps on the table and the man goes to work. Upon completing the tattoos he bandages her thighs and says ""Take off the bandages in two weeks. If you're not satisfied, come back and we'll figure it out."" Two week…

If The Beatles were from Hawaii... What would they have called their song, ""Hello Goodbye?""

What did The Beatles say when a hot but unexpected guest showed up at their bukkake party? Here comes the sun!

I couldn't believe it when my mother said she liked The Monkees more than The Beatles. Then I saw her face.

Who is the best drummer in the Beatles? It's between George, John and Paul... We all know it isn't Ringo

I'm such a hipster... I'm such a hipster that I won't listen to the Beatles until they're all dead. That way I can say I was a fan when they were underground.

Why won't hipsters listen to the Beatles until Ringo Starr and Paul McCartney die? Because they only want to listen to the Beatles when they're underground (Taken from Cyanide and Happiness comics)

One day, on an Irish farm.... One day, on an Irish farm, a horse was watching MTV through the farmer's window. He watched a music video made by "The Beatles" and was amazed. "I could play guitar like that" said the Horse to himself and spent a year learning how to play guitar. Satisfied by what he achieved, he showed his work to the chicken."That's amazing!" said the chicken, "I bet I could put some vocals on that if I practiced!". The chicken then took a year of its life to learn how to sing …

What would reunite the Beatles? 2 more bullets

What is The Beatles' favorite element on the Periodic Table? Sodium. Na, na, na, na na na na... hey Jude...

What would it take to reunite The Beatles? 2 Bullets

The Beatles were sitting in the studio making up ideas for new songs.

The Beatles all walk into an orange underwater vehicle Oops