#willie-nelson

David Sedaris on Willie Nelson What's the last thing you want to hear when giving Willie Nelson a blow job? ""I'm not Willie Nelson""

Tatoos of Elvis A woman goes into a tattoo parlor and asks for a picture of Elvis be tattooed high up on her left thigh. The tattoo guy complies, but when he's done, the woman looks at the result and says ""That doesn't look like Elvis at all!"" The guy says, ""I can't do anything to remove it, but I could try again on the other thigh"". The woman agrees, but when all is done, she thinks that the new tattoo looks nothing like Elvis, either and refuses to pay. The tattoo artist makes a proposal, …

What's worse than giving Willie Nelson a blow job? Finding out it's not Willie Nelson

What gets higher with age? Willie Nelson

What's the worst thing you can hear after giving Willie Nelson a bj? I'm not Willie Nelson.

Went hunting with Willie Nelson and we each got a turkey. Now that's what I call killing 2 birds with one stoner.

What's the last thing someone wants to hear while blowing Willie Nelson? ""I'm not Willie Nelson.""

What's the worst thing Willie Nelson can tell you while giving you a handjob? I'm not Willie Nelson

An older, heavyset lady walks into a tattoo parlor. She tells the artist that she wants Roy Orbison on the inside of her left thigh and Johnny Cash on the inside of her right thigh. After 4 painful hours, the artist rolls his chair back looking satisfied. She looks down and tells the artist that they just don't look right to her. The artist goes outside and finds someone for a second opinion. He walks in with the town drunk stumbling in tow and explains the situation. The drunk says ""Well, I do…

Did You Know Willie Nelson Just Died? He was playing On The Road Again.

What's the last thing you want to hear right after you get done blowing Willie Nelson? "" I ain't Willie Nelson.""

At the height of The Beatles' popularity... a woman walks into a tattoo shop and pulls up her dress, exposing her thighs. She points the the left thigh and says ""I want a tatto of John Lennon here,"" then to the right, ""and Paul McCartney right here."". After agreeing on a price, she jumps on the table and the man goes to work. Upon completing the tattoos he bandages her thighs and says ""Take off the bandages in two weeks. If you're not satisfied, come back and we'll figure it out."" Two week…

Grandfather Clock and a Drunk A guy is coming out of an antique clock shop with a new grandfather clock as a drunk comes stumbling down the street. The guy bumps into the drunk, falls down, and busts the clock all to pieces. The guy gets up and says to the drunk, ""Why don't you watch where you're going?"" The drunk says,""Why don't you wear a wristwatch like everyone else?"" Source: Willie Nelson told this joke on Jimmy Kimmel last week. Link in comments.

THE MIDDLE MAN A woman walks in to a tattoo parlor and tells the artist she would like two tatoos, one of Robert Redford on her left upper thigh, and one of Paul Newman on her right thigh. After hours of work the tatoo artist is finished and holds a mirror in between the womans legs for her to view. The woman says,"" I dont know if these really look like Paul & Robert, and I ain't payin for this if it isn't right! "" She tells the artist she will go just outside the buisness and ask someone …

Willie Nelson, 81, found dead... He was playing 'On The Road Again'

What is the worst thing to hear after blowing Willie Nelson? ""I'm not Willie Nelson.""

NSFW - What's the worst thing to hear.... What's the *worst* thing to hear after blowing Willie Nelson? ""I'm not Willie Nelson.""

What's the last thing you want to hear when blowing Willie Nelson? ""I'm not Willie Nelson""

Flea master There as a flea who hates his life. One day he goes to the flea master and says to him ""I am miserable, will you please put me somewhere where I am happy."" The flea master thinks and says, ""I have somewhere I can put you."" I will put you up on a horses hind, you'll really love it there."" So the master puts the flea up on the hind of the horse. The next day the flea calls the master again and says ""You have to get me out of here. This horse is killing me with his tail"" The mast…

What's the worst thing to hear after giving head to Willie Nelson? I'm not Willie Nelson.

What's the worst thing you could possibly hear after giving Willie Nelson a blow job? I'm not Willie Nelson.

Willie Nelson died today.. Yeah he was playing on the road again..

The worst thing you could hear after orally pleasing Willie Nelson. I'm not Willie Nelson.

Last week, I went to a convention of Women without legs. The place was literally crawling with pussies. (Heard Willie Nelson tell it).

A woman walks into a tattoo parlour and asks 'Do you do custom work?' 'Why of course!' 'Good. I'd like a portrait of Robert Redford on the inside of my right thigh, and a portrait of Paul Newman on the inside of my left thigh.' 'No problem,' says the artist. 'Strip from the waist down and get up on the table.' After two hours of hard work, the artist finishes. The woman sits up and examines the tattoos. 'That doesn't look like them!' she complains loudly. 'Oh yes it does,' the artist says indign…